How to sum up a KLR 650 in one line

"themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles" (themanwithsauce) 11/20/2018 at 00:43 • Filed to: None

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Was making dinner for the girl tonight and we got to talking about english phrases and stuff. I brought up how I was still struggling to review my KLR 650 and that I didn’t know how to put thoughts to words.

Now, my girl is best girl and plays lots of board games and pen/paper RPGs so she has a very wide knowledge of fantasy phrases and words. I asked her about what phrase would quantify something that can just ignore things like temperature, terrain, and even a mild case of submersion. Apparently there is a phrase used in certain pen and paper RPGs to describe a character that is just that - 100% gives zero fucks about how the earth is feeling that day.

An d thus, I now know how to perfectly encapsulate the KLR 650 in a single sentence.

Kawasaki KLR 650 - Impervious to earthly conditions.

atfsgeoff > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/20/2018 at 00:58

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Ride that thing across an active volcano and it will have earned that title.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > atfsgeoff 11/20/2018 at 00:59

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Given that I’ ve ridden it through a small pond while it was completely submerged up to the instrument panel, I honestly don’t think a hot volcano will give it much problem.

atfsgeoff > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/20/2018 at 01:00

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Probably not, but it sounds like a badass thing to do

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > atfsgeoff 11/20/2018 at 01:02

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It’s now on my list of places to visit. Right behind the active geysers at yellowstone and some form of arctic sea ice in canada/alaska. I don’t doubt for a second that it will, too.

Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/20/2018 at 01:06

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The phrase you are looking for is “Like a Hilux”

Also: the closest I have ever come to “impervious to earthly conditions” is riding on elephant-back. It gives you a whole new perspective on the RPG term “casual strength”. 

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 11/20/2018 at 01:10

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KLRs care little for human development. A KLR from 2018 is very very VERY similar to one from 1988. The hilux had to change a lot to continue to be relevant. Time is a human constraint that the KLR just decided to ignore. 

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/20/2018 at 01:12

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Only word I’ve seen used after “earthly” is “temptations.” Or “tethers,” that one time on Legend of Korra.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/20/2018 at 01:14

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Well, I think it is to leave room for acts of a deity. And I think that is also fair for the KLR. Hurricanes may or may not send the bike (with rider on it) flying. Also a meteorite could destroy it. 

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/20/2018 at 01:15

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You cannot prove that a meteor WOULD destroy it. Therefore: invincible. Burden of proof does not apply.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/20/2018 at 01:20

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WHen I went off roading on it last year, I fell over on it and the auto-shutoff didn’t happen. Ap parently crashing in some sand didn’t count as a tip-over to the bike so I had to shut it off manually while it was on its side. I’m still a little salty that the bike I fell over on refused to call the incident a tip-over.

Maxima Speed > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/20/2018 at 01:26

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My dad has an 06. Those things are awesome bikes. Too bad they’re canceling them.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Maxima Speed 11/20/2018 at 01:27

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They’re going to be around forever. Used bike sales are now enough to keep the name in circulation. I hope Kawasaki makes something new but there are plenty on the ro ads in the meantime.

Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/20/2018 at 03:13

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OTOH, the aforementioned Hilux from 1988 is probably still chugging along, doing its thing, caring little for human development. Which is less likely to be true of an 88 KLR I’d imagine - bikes tend to be less durable. 

pip bip - choose Corrour > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/20/2018 at 04:17

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bra aaapp!

CRider > atfsgeoff 11/20/2018 at 04:19

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The bike can handle it, your pathetic human  meat sticks can not.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > Distraxi's idea of perfection is a Jagroen 11/20/2018 at 06:46

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Actually, I'd argue the opposite. The Hilux will probably be quite rusty by now if it was used off road and bikes, on average, have a very high build quality compared to cars. Go on Craigslist and there are scores of 40+ year old bikes, unrestored, that are still kicking just fine. KLRs are particularly durable and they were designed to be abused on long journeys with minimal maintenance.

Steveofthenw > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/20/2018 at 08:41

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Alway s been a fast bike guy, but in the last few years, I’ve real ly wanted one of these. They may not be fast but they sure are slow. But the thing is just a hammer; you just can’t break it. And if you do, you can fix it with the contents of your pockets. Hopefully, I can get a decent one before the price goes up in the used market.

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/20/2018 at 12:02

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Kawasaki KLR 650 - Impervious to earthly conditions.*

*Please note: the Doo hic key is not of earthly origin, it was sent by Satan Himself to torment the souls of man.

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t 11/20/2018 at 12:08

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It’s the immovable object against the unstoppable force that is the 650cc motor. Run it on alco-gas? Sure. Stick some leaves and whiskey in the tank? You can still do 4000 rpm. Accidentally get some rain in the tank? KLR don’t care. Inferior idleshaft lever and spring? SHIT’S FUCKED!

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > CRider 11/21/2018 at 21:26

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I imagined my bike saying this to me and given how many times it has given absolutely zero fucks about whatever was going on around it, it seems accurate. I was riding back from a music festival at dusk and didn’t notice in a turn that one half of the lane was more elevated than the other and there was a distinct “lip” in the middle of the lane of about an inch or two. Of course, mid-lean, my bike wanders from the higher side to the lower side and I about have a heart attack when I feel weightless while leaned over mid-turn.

....My KLR acted like that was just how roads are and the lean angle remained perfectly level with what it was before. I imagined it laughing at me all the way home cause of how scary it was in that moment for me .

CRider > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/22/2018 at 01:33

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That’s because a KLR is really just a very large dirt bike. If you have  some experience off road you would barely notice a lip like that because that IS how dirt roads are. A lthough hitting a bu mp unexpectedly in a turn is always exciting!

Have you done any dirt riding?

themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles > CRider 11/22/2018 at 01:42

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Literally just posted about an experience from a trail ride. Was well aware the KLR is a dirt bike. The suddenness of the lip was what threw me off since it was hard concrete and not dirt/sand/etc...I didn’t notice things like that of f road since the terrain wasn’t as solid. Also I didn’t lean nearly as much off road compared to on. Because, well, yeah, dirt bikes.

CRider > themanwithsauce - has as many vehicles as job titles 11/22/2018 at 04:15

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Ah, I missed that one. Your bike looks so clean it could have just rolled off the showroom.