Coffin Showroom: Photo Dump

"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura) 08/18/2017 at 19:43 • Filed to: None

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Here for my aunt’s viewing. I was searching for the Mens’ Room and stumbled onto the showroom. This is the mahogany coffin: $5700.

Here for my aunt’s viewing. I was searching for the Mens’ Room and stumbled onto the showroom. This is the mahogany coffin: $5700. Toast me and scatter the crumbs, please.

TheRealBicycleBuck > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 19:48

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I just went through this with my mom. It’s a numbing experience.

Urambo Tauro > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 19:54

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If anyone spends that much on my burial, I will come back to eat their brains.

TheHondaBro > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 19:54

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LOOK I TOLD YOU I’D HAVE THE MONEY BY SUNDAY

CaptDale - is secretly British > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 20:15

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I am just going to have a viking burial.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 20:16

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“Sure, you can buy the basic coffin. But this deluxe model has XM satellite radio, a wine bar, and stitched leather. Don’t you love your mother?”

MM54 > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 20:20

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Those are caskets

Berang > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 20:20

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I’m ok with being stuffed in the old box for the flat screen tv

Tristan > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 20:29

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I’m going to specify cremation and a Kirkland coffee can in my will... Give the thousands in savings to my kids or the ASPCA or the Studebaker museum or ANYthing more worthwhile than a pretty box to rot with me in the ground.

Dusty Ventures > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 21:07

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$5,700 isn’t even one of the expensive ones

Source: My family has been in the business since ‘61

ranwhenparked > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 21:57

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The markup on those things is crazy, up to 500% over wholesale. In most states, you need a special license to sell them, so there’s just no way to get around it.

Fortunately for us, my grandparents shopped around a lot and bought their caskets while they were still alive.

ttyymmnn > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 21:57

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Ugh.

LastFirstMI is my name > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 22:13

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Crack pipe.

Die-Trying > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 22:47

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remember playing hide and seek in these? would work great as a casket too. just needs a couple of handles...... nobody ever DID find jimmy john.......

My bird IS the word > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/18/2017 at 23:37

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Ditto. I’m going to be dead already, It’s not like I am going to be able to tell the difference. I also don’t want to take up a 4x8 plot of land for 500 years for somebody to dig me up. Grill me good.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/19/2017 at 08:00

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when my dad died, we had a look in the showroom

the idea of a “showroom” for caskets is just plain weird to me

X37.9XXS > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/19/2017 at 12:32

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The Funeral industry is on the same moral level as Trump Enterprises

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > MM54 08/20/2017 at 15:09

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I know. I was being a troll.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Die-Trying 08/20/2017 at 15:10

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Too well. I’m going to have my ashes dropped into Trinity Lake, California. In a brown paper bag with a few rocks to make it sink. And Chet Atkins playing on the boombox.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > My bird IS the word 08/20/2017 at 15:11

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More like 50,000,000 years. Same.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Berang 08/20/2017 at 15:12

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You can cremate me in that box, TYVM. Drop my ashes in the lake in a brown paper sack.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ttyymmnn 08/20/2017 at 15:13

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The company was much better in the other room. And Aunt Ruth was there in a small box with Uncle Don. No corpses.

ttyymmnn > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 08/20/2017 at 17:29

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I refused to view Alise’s body.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ttyymmnn 08/20/2017 at 18:47

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My instructions are very precise: Heavy brown paper grocery bag, doubled. An inch or so of shale or pea gravel in the bottom, ashes poured in on top. Bag rolled up and the entire thing tied around with jute twine. Parcel dropped into Trinity lake, out in the deep part, where the best view of the Trinity Alps is found. Boom box plays Space Oddity, then Blackstar, then a Chet Atkins playlist. People eat lots of food and have a swim and laugh a lot and hug each other and remember what a pain in the ass Matt was.