I'm gonna need friends

"Funktheduck" (funktheduck)
08/05/2017 at 01:19 • Filed to: None

So it’s definitely official. After 2 days of just hoping and wishing there was something I could do or say to make things right. We talked and she made it very clear we’re done and there’s nothing that will change it. Now I’m moving to somewhere where I don’t really have any friends. I have a couple but I’d like more. Need to find a house first.

DISCUSSION (30)

AM3R, lost another burner > Funktheduck
08/05/2017 at 01:22

I know it feels rough right now man, definitely all been there before.. it always gets much much better.

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > Funktheduck
08/05/2017 at 01:23

If you ever want to talk or need anything, please let me know. I’d be more than happy to.

I understand how hard it is, but whenever the night is darkest, a new dawn reveals itself.

Funktheduck > AM3R, lost another burner
08/05/2017 at 01:50

Yeah. I’m actually a little relieved right now. I’ve been so stressed all day thinking about this phone call and what I’d say and how it may go. After all the impact hit I’m doing better. Once I find a place to live and find myself all alone with just me and my dogs, that’s when it’ll suck

Funktheduck > BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo
08/05/2017 at 01:51

Thanks

victor > Funktheduck
08/05/2017 at 02:55

Sorry to hear. But in the end, tomorrow is a new day, and you know that there are plenty of people here who have you in their thoughts and prayers.

That said, I think she was your fiance? Better now than after getting married. Also, it sounds like she initiated it? In some cases, you can’t control what she does, but how you react and grow is definitely something in your control.

Surround yourself with friends and family. Pick up a hobby. Just work. Keep yourself busy. It’s excruciating now. But before you know it, you’ll look back at this day and see how far you’ve come and how much you’ve grown.

Steve in Manhattan > Funktheduck
08/05/2017 at 03:27

Well, I’ve been more or less where you are, and it’s not easy. Give it a few hours (like 48) and make another run at it. You can also negotiate to stay where you’re comfortable until you get your shit together. 212 966-9595 - up for another 30 mins if you need someone to talk you off the ledge.

jordang1028 > Funktheduck
08/05/2017 at 03:38

Not to sound insensitive but sometimes going out and getting laid can honestly be a big help. Might be too soon now, but don’t wait too long or you will start to brood. Just my $.02. Also go for a long drive on a late night.

Funktheduck > victor
08/05/2017 at 06:40

Yeah. It just sucks. Thanks though

Funktheduck > Steve in Manhattan
08/05/2017 at 06:46

Thanks. She made it very clear where she stands. I know there’s nothing I can do to get her to change her mind. I’m on no ledge fortunately. No one has to worry about me harming myself. I’m abstaining for drinking for the near future. Once I find a place and know how much I’m gonna have to spend every month I’m gonna look into joining a gym. I know people who own/work at a couple boxing/fighting gyms. I’ve been curious about yoga too and I know several yoga teachers. I’m giving myself some plans to look forward to

Funktheduck > jordang1028
08/05/2017 at 06:47

That’s been suggested to me a few times. Way too soon for me

SilentButNotReallyDeadly...killed by G/O Media > Funktheduck
08/05/2017 at 07:12

It’ll suck only if you look backward rather than forward. So look forward. The past is a country filled only with lessons, not rewards.

Yes...I am full of homilies.

S62B50daily > Funktheduck
08/05/2017 at 09:09

Where are you located? I’m going through something similar, except they we have 2 kids together. If you’re around the Boston area, I’m here to listen and share my experience

Funktheduck > S62B50daily
08/05/2017 at 09:46

I’m down south. I’ve really appreciated all the outreach. It’s really nice when you feel like you’ve lost everything but you have such a large community proving that’s not the case

WilliamsSW > Funktheduck
08/05/2017 at 09:48

Sorry to hear that. We’ve all been there, unfortunately. Your plan to pick yourself up, and try a few new activities, is a perfect way to move on. Best of luck finding new digs.

Funktheduck > WilliamsSW
08/05/2017 at 09:55

Thank you. I know in the end I’ll be ok. It just sucks so hard right now. Once I find a place it’ll relieve a lot of stress and I can actually start figuring things out

Hooker > Funktheduck
08/05/2017 at 10:01

Where down south? I’m in NC.

WilliamsSW > Funktheduck
08/05/2017 at 11:29

Yep, having that hang over you is stressful. But it gives you something to focus on, too. Not sure if it’s an option for you, but maybe a shorter term lease (6 mo or so) would be good, so you’re not rushing into anything long term? That can be hard to find in a college town though.

Funktheduck > WilliamsSW
08/05/2017 at 12:10

Yeah. I literally just had a contact forwarded to me about a 3-4 month lease in a good part of town. Don’t know any more details though. I might look into buying. There are some seriously cheap houses out here. For the same house rent would be close to double what the mortgage would be. And then if I need/want to move I could always rent it out or sell it and break even at worst if I buy in the right area.

Funktheduck > Hooker
08/05/2017 at 12:12

Georgia. Was in Atlanta but going back to Athens

WilliamsSW > Funktheduck
08/05/2017 at 12:58

That lease could be great if it works out. Surprised at the difference between rent and mortgage, but maybe a short lease could give you time to look for a place to buy. Best of luck!

TDogg > Funktheduck
08/05/2017 at 13:43

I’ve done yoga now and then and it can be extremely useful in finding/maintaining emotional/mental peace. A class is best IMO because the instructor can sort of guide you into a good mindset more easily than on your own. Best of luck.

Funktheduck > WilliamsSW
08/05/2017 at 14:40

That’s what I’m hoping right now.

jordang1028 > Funktheduck
08/06/2017 at 02:53

Fair enough. But still go for the long drive late at night. Regularly.

Hooker > Funktheduck
08/07/2017 at 09:13

If you’re ever in the Charlotte area, hit me up kthooker at gmail dot com.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Funktheduck
08/07/2017 at 09:53

Don’t know if you’ve ever tried CrossFit, but the one I was at for a while had a great community that got together a lot socially outside of the gym. Might be just what you need right now. I bet you can get a feel for that by checking out the Fb pages of the ones around you.

Funktheduck > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
08/07/2017 at 11:12

I have a friend who’s been trying to get me to do crossfit for a while (don’t they all?). I like the results from people who do it but I can’t bring myself to put my body at so much risk. Everyone I know who’s done crossfit has broken or sprained something that would put me out of work

Funktheduck > Hooker
08/07/2017 at 11:12

I definitely wanna do some traveling in the near future. I’ll shoot you an email now so I’ll have it saved and won’t have to go back and find this

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Funktheduck
08/07/2017 at 11:24

Yeah, I hear you. I wonder if there are any gyms near you that do classes just with body weight exercises and kettles and exercise balls. Once you start doing real lifting with bigger weights and advanced movements, the risk definitely goes up.

Funktheduck > davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com
08/07/2017 at 12:43

I’m sure there are.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Funktheduck
08/07/2017 at 13:52

Honestly, the real reason I bring it up is the community. I’m in Tulsa, and after the recent tornado hit one of the local gyms, tons of the people who used the gym (and I think from other CrossFit gyms as well) showed up and helped them quickly move everything to a dry place and cleaned up all the mess. Just a cool story about people banding together.

The gym I was at had a really close-knit group that would get together a lot, and still do. A friend of mine met his current wife through his involvement with the group. As a dad with three kids, it was hard for me to join in, but it seems like a great way for singles or young couples to plug in with some cool people.