TSA

"Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo" (rustyvandura) 07/21/2017 at 09:39 • Filed to: None

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TSA lady was patting down my wife at the airport yesterday and I said, “That’s my job.”

EL_ULY > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/21/2017 at 09:44

1

ba dum tss!

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/21/2017 at 09:44

2

*slow clap*

MonkeePuzzle > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/21/2017 at 09:45

6

*wink* “let’s ALL play” said the TSA lady

and that’s how the threesome happened.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/21/2017 at 09:49

0

When TSA agents pat me down I normally say, “Usually I get dinner first”. I have had mixed reactions...

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/21/2017 at 09:51

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How thorough are TSA agents anyway? I’m flying to and from NY in September, and due to high metal content, I usually beep at the detectors

ttyymmnn > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/21/2017 at 09:53

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It’s an absolute crap shoot. My latest flight had very thorough agents in Orlando, and agents who didn’t GAF in Austin.

BugEyedBimmer - back in the Saddle Dakota Leather > MonkeePuzzle 07/21/2017 at 09:55

3

“Dear Penthouse forum...”

random001 > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/21/2017 at 09:57

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The trick is to shift around ever so slightly so that their ministrations purposefully brush “sensitive areas.” It’s already awkward for you, might as well be awkward for them, too!

pip bip - choose Corrour > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/21/2017 at 10:04

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what was their reaction?

Honeybunchesofgoats > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/21/2017 at 10:07

1

New York TSA agents tend to be pretty chill as long as you’re really polite.

Rust and Dust - Oppositelock Forever > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/21/2017 at 10:12

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High metal content from piercings or surgery?

I was visiting friends in Poland for Christmas 2009. Left the US, everything is great. Land in Poland, everything is “heightened security, underwear bomber arrested in Detroit”. Shit.

Fast forward two weeks, flying out of Warsaw, and the full body scanners had been installed. Didn’t think too much of it until I was stepping into the scanner. I’ve got a piercing in the gentleman’s bits. The (female) border control officers head snapped from the scan display screen directly to me, her eyes looking like a deer in a spotlight.

I winked and waved, she blushed, looked back down at the screen and waved me through.

Ash78, voting early and often > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/21/2017 at 10:16

2

I heard Lemmy Kilmister was so metal, he had to opt for the patdown 100% of the time.

AMGtech - now with more recalls! > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/21/2017 at 10:22

0

So you’re posting this from airport jail?

Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner > Honeybunchesofgoats 07/21/2017 at 10:26

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Atlanta on the other hand...

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > Rust and Dust - Oppositelock Forever 07/21/2017 at 10:27

1

Both, 3 piercings on the left ear,one in the tongue, and a labret, then there’s my left femur and shinbone, left elbow, and my right forearm.

I’m so metal I rust in the shower :)

Haha, those agents must have seen some stuff

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 07/21/2017 at 10:28

1

I’d imagine they get that one frequently.

CalzoneGolem > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/21/2017 at 10:31

0

This is my spine.

I have had no problems. Just flew from Boston to Toronto and back.

ttyymmnn > Honeybunchesofgoats 07/21/2017 at 10:31

1

When I went through security in Orlando, I put all my metal stuff in my carry on, took my shoes off, read the signs, listened to instructions, and was through without a hitch. I watched a woman berating the TSA guy at the metal detector who was simply doing his job. He may have been a little gruff, but he had a thousand people waiting in line. The woman complained to the supervisor, who then went and spoke to the agent. When he was done, I went to the super and said that I watched it all unfold and that the agent was simply doing his job and did nothing wrong. I think a lot of people get in line with a chip on their shoulder, expecting something bad to happen. If you have that kind of an attitude, something bad will happen. This may be security theater, but it’s still security. The TSA officer isn’t the concierge at your hotel. Just follow instructions, take care of your end of the deal by securing your shit, and you’ll be on the way to your plane.

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > CalzoneGolem 07/21/2017 at 10:33

1

Looks painful and in the same time it’s awesome what can be done today!

haveacarortwoorthree2 > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/21/2017 at 10:34

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Didn’t realize that they let you on the internet in Gitmo.

CalzoneGolem > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 07/21/2017 at 10:37

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0/10 would not recommend.

But I am eternally grateful to be able to use my legs.

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > CalzoneGolem 07/21/2017 at 10:45

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That was my thought when getting out of the hospital

DipodomysDeserti > Ash78, voting early and often 07/21/2017 at 11:45

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Heeeyyyyoooooohhhhhhh!

DipodomysDeserti > CalzoneGolem 07/21/2017 at 11:47

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Of course you didn’t have amy problems, they clearly just zip tied your spine back together.

CalzoneGolem > DipodomysDeserti 07/21/2017 at 11:52

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It is actually high quality pipe clamps and some copper tubing.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > CalzoneGolem 07/21/2017 at 12:07

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Zip ties sounds cooler.

CalzoneGolem > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 07/21/2017 at 12:08

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You just can’t sterilize them that’s the real issue.

AuthiCooper1300 > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/21/2017 at 15:32

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I’d never say anything like that but I commend your audacity!

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > ttyymmnn 07/21/2017 at 16:50

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Norfolk has the Gestapo. I lost the knife withnthe one-inch blade that you gave me after the wedding at ORF. TSA Dude was outwardly proud of himself.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > random001 07/21/2017 at 16:51

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I don’t think they experience awkward.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Rust and Dust - Oppositelock Forever 07/21/2017 at 16:52

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TMI.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 07/21/2017 at 16:53

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I didn’t say it loudly at all and the TSA lady smiled. Only she heard me.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > pip bip - choose Corrour 07/21/2017 at 16:54

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I said it softly and only the TSA agent heard me and she smiled.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > AuthiCooper1300 07/21/2017 at 16:54

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I didn’t say it loudly.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 07/21/2017 at 16:59

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If I’d said it loudly, my wife would have been embarrassed. As it was, she chuckled when I told her about it, so I give myself +1.

28 years and lovin’ it.

ranwhenparked > Rust and Dust - Oppositelock Forever 07/21/2017 at 17:49

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Overalls will do it too, lots of metal in those things.

ttyymmnn > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/21/2017 at 17:52

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I lost that knife all in my own many years ago. Then I lost the replacement.

random001 > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 07/21/2017 at 19:37

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Point well made.