Is it Weird that I Don’t Like Supercars?

"MotoArigato" (MotoArigato) 07/12/2017 at 15:56 • Filed to: supercars, aston martin, aston martin valkyrie, mercedes-benz, 220se coupe, classic, parody, humor, it's a joke people

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Is it Weird that I Don’t Like Supercars?

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First of all, that thing up there. That’s what the folks who made it over at Aston Martin call the Valkyrie. What am I supposed to do with that???

I’m the kind of guy who prefers Grand Tourers over Sports Cars. I like luxury cars, cars that shift themselves... ever heard of a Cadillac Eldorado?

My first car was a ‘57 Cadillac, followed by a ‘76 Jaguar XJ6 ( !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! ) and then I was somehow lured into Porsche 944 ownership before diving into the world of Merkur in the form of two Scorpios, one for parts in the pre-internet days. The Porsche was not my idea, it was a family hand-me-down first owned by my older sister, then my parents who never drove it. I maybe drove it twice. To much shifty-shifty and no room for my friends in the nominal +2 seats hiding out behind the driver and passenger. My primary car today is a 1962 Mercedes-Benz 220se, and while this one is a coupe rather than my clearly-preferred sedans, it rides, drives and feels like the cars I favor.

Next up, that thing up there. What am I supposed to do with that? There’s not much vision, which would seem like a useful thing to have at 250-MPH, but heck I guess people will tell me you really only need to see what’s right in front of you, which clearly is total bullshit because at higher speeds all those things existing out there in the real world, deer, errant beach balls, Bernie Ecclestone, could all come running out of the hedge at any moment and your reaction time would be much less, except... nobody can drive these cars to their full potential on public roadways. Point being, I have a better view of the road from the inside of my glove box than is offered by the Valkyrie. “Luggage? What’s that?” might be the response from many supercar owners as they lift a patio-sized carbon fiber panel to reveal a carpeted box that approximates the size and shape of the smallest Chipotle burrito you’ve ever been served.

The ‘62 Benz coupe I mentioned earlier has as much visibility as the deck of an aircraft carrier and with a trunk large enough to carry probably half the number of planes. No joke, I measured. You still have to fold the wings up but they will fit in there!

Now this is the really freaky part to me, see how you can look right through the bodywork on this car, sorta like how you can see through the rear haunches on the new Ford GT? I know the thin bit of fender steel doesn’t do much in the way of providing protection but this would just make me feel like my legs were dangling out from the bottom of an inner tube, waiting to be bitten off by a hammerhead shark, or in this instance, a deep curb.

How do you repair these things? When even a Bugatti needs to be shipped back to Mother-France just for a set of new tires, it makes you ponder the downtime, cost and final feasibility of the repair if your half-resin go-kart kits a Camry on it’s way out of Costco. Yes, rich people shop at Costco, it’s easier to keep your existing money than to make more.

Where do you drive these things to? Not the grocery store, no room for the groceries. Not to the bank, they will surely flag you for investigation for insider trading. Not your in-laws, least you be inundated with requests for a “small, $4-million loan” despite protestations that “I’m good for it!”

These cars were made to be featured in video games where you can switch to a God’s eye view, don’t need to stow anything whatsoever, and crashes can be fixed with a simple press of a button.

Nah, I’ll stick with my old man car and be happy doing it.

This article first appeared on !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!!

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > MotoArigato 07/12/2017 at 15:59

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http://oppositelock.kinja.com/oppofession-time-1793078718

My bird IS the word > MotoArigato 07/12/2017 at 16:03

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To me, it’s the dollar value that gets me. I guess I have a middle-class mindset, but to spend that much on one car seems increasingly vulgar, and I would have a hard time justifying it. especially considering I could get pretty much all the cars I want for a combined total of the price of a single lamborghini aventador.

fintail > MotoArigato 07/12/2017 at 16:04

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You’re definitely not alone in the old man car thing. I have an old 0ld man car, and a modern old man car.

AntiSpeed > MotoArigato 07/12/2017 at 16:05

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I get it.

Supercars are race cars that are overweight, compromised for street use and you can’t race them anywhere. If you’re going to spend $300,000 on a high-performance car, just buy a race car.

MotoArigato > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 07/12/2017 at 16:10

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Ha! That’s awesome man, I think we probably have at least an 80% overlap on the ones you like. Oddly I also love an F-40!

MotoArigato > My bird IS the word 07/12/2017 at 16:14

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I can see that for sure but I think if I was billionaire-rich and wanted a specific, unique Lagonda Rapide (the 1930's ones) or a Bentley Continental I would probably spend that much on one car, so I can’t claim to agree, but I would much rather have many, many cool old cars than one really fast modern one if given the straight up cash to go car shopping with.

MotoArigato > fintail 07/12/2017 at 16:15

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You’re always there for me. *bats eyelashes*

What’s the modern car?

My bird IS the word > MotoArigato 07/12/2017 at 16:32

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Yeah, I feel you. There would be a point where I would be so rich I wouldn’t care, but I would have to have a ton of money to get there.

My (current) list:

Caterham 7, Ultima gtr evo, factory five type 65, lister bell str, 1st gen dodge viper, my ‘79 trans am restored, and maybe a 911 to daily. All could be had for less than 600 grand.

MotoArigato > My bird IS the word 07/12/2017 at 16:38

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My pops and I were just talking about how we each want a first-gen Viper GTS, or I’d happily accept a Superformance Daytona coupe replica. You’re right tho, I might have real issues when it came time to actually spend that much on one car, I’d almost feel like it was a crime against humanity given what else I could accomplish with the money.

fintail > MotoArigato 07/12/2017 at 16:49

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W212 E250 Bluetec, kind of a modern day 300D. Reliable, economical, comfortable, good build quality, solid design and materials.

I’d rather have a vintage supercar than a modern one. Even some Pagani with the V12 MB heart are getting up there now, and a standby 300SL gullwing beats all the new stuff.

MotoArigato > fintail 07/12/2017 at 16:53

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I originally wrote, “What’s the new car, some kind of diesel?” but then changed it. lol

I am torn between the 300sl roadster and coupe, my mind changes almost daily, I tend to shun convertibles (another article perhaps?) but this is one that just seems so much more practical than the coupe, tho there’s NOTHING like a true Gullwing! I guess I better get that figured out before I come into some Valkyrie-type cash!

Demon-Xanth knows how to operate a street. > MotoArigato 07/12/2017 at 16:54

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At this point, supercars have me kinda jaded. They’re things so far out of reach that I’ll never be in a position to appreciate them in any way. And I’ve come to love more “tossable” cars. I’d love to do this to an ‘04 Dakota.

There’s just something about not having to give any fucks about potholes and speed bumps while still being able to rip around a corner that I love.

fintail > MotoArigato 07/12/2017 at 17:10

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Many modern MBs are kind of old man cars, but the diesels for sure. I hope these fuel prices continue.

If you can afford one 300SL, why not both? Any gullwing will be 7 figures now, and roadsters are trying hard to get close. Definitely a pair for my powerball garage.

JR1 > MotoArigato 07/12/2017 at 17:10

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At the end of the day a car is about transportation and more comfort than a horse (think car salesman speech in 1910). Comfort means luxury and that means a car like a Rolls Royce Ghost or a 59 Cadillac should be (and are) some of the most desirable cars in the world also often some of the most beautiful. I love a good luxury car or old man car.