Some asshole at the bar top just proudly declared, "I've never spilled beer on myself," to the female bartender.

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 06/08/2017 at 22:31 • Filed to: Nice try Casanova

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Oh yeah? Well I’ve never masturbated in front of a bartender.

Berang > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2017 at 22:38

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just behind them

Tripper > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2017 at 22:38

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Lol when I’m at the bar and I hear things like that I’m like “why do I come here?”

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Berang 06/08/2017 at 22:39

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It is rude to ever get behind a bar counter

Berang > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2017 at 22:40

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or under it

Honeybunchesofgoats > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2017 at 22:40

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Pfft, if that was an attractive quality, I’d never get dates.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Tripper 06/08/2017 at 22:40

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The bartender has been one of my best friends for over a decade. Watching her get treated like a slab of meat irks me. I should have stayed home!!!

WilliamsSW > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2017 at 22:41

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“Of course, other people spill beer on me all the time. Intentionally. But I never do it’

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Berang 06/08/2017 at 22:45

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Lol

Xyl0c41n3 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2017 at 23:04

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Well, THAT escalated quickly...

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Xyl0c41n3 06/08/2017 at 23:07

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See my reply to tripperr

Xyl0c41n3 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2017 at 23:10

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Making me click on the all replies button.... -_____-

Heh.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Xyl0c41n3 06/08/2017 at 23:11

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Too many buttons for access to non-alternative FACTS

Xyl0c41n3 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2017 at 23:19

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FAAAAAAAAAAAAKKKKEE NEWS!

fhrblig > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/08/2017 at 23:42

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I AIN’T NEVER BEEN TO JAIL!

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/09/2017 at 03:42

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Is that some sort of accolade now? I mean, I get it. Find self-esteem however you will, but if that’s something to loudly proclaim then it’s probably indicative of not having achieved very much so far.

Tripper > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/09/2017 at 07:54

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I can’t keep my mouth shut during those situations.

RPM esq. > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 06/09/2017 at 18:10

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I have to think that every single normal human who would react to that by saying “really? I certainly have!” to defuse the situation would instantly be 100% more attractive than this pud.

Also, is this supposed to be impressive? His record is admittedly a lot better than mine in this very specific regard, but I never thought my spill history was holding me back.