Just read that Z06 Crash on Jalopnik

"K-Roll-PorscheTamer" (k-roll390) 05/31/2017 at 11:27 • Filed to: Jalopnik

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What a coincidence. I met Porker and the owner of the Z06 last year, and I’m not one bit surprised.

I met him the day Porker got his new Huracan, and both treated me like a little poor pleb, they hardly acknowledged my existence. I was nothing to them, and I could barely talk cars with them. Hell, Porker took some people for a ride in the Lambo and you could hear it from however far away they were. Also who parks like that in a Buffalo Wild Wings parking lot?

Drive the car harder than you should, treat the road like a track, and look what happens.

Not sorry for the driver, not sorry for the car, sorry for the passenger. I can comfortably say I have far too much to lose to ever do what he did and treat the road like a track. Seriously how does one not get a ticket from that??

Injuries heal, but I sure as hell hope this sobers them up and they learn something.

fintail > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 11:32

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Rich kids seldom are held to the same level of accountability as actual people.

Their parents usually are likewise, maybe even worse.

Chariotoflove > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 11:40

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My daughter likes to follow another narcissistic teen aged YouTuber that has a GTR and a Huracan. He’s not obnoxious, but I don’t like the idea of these people getting rich and famous for doing absolutely nothing of value and then blowing ridiculous amounts of money on toys they don’t know how to appreciate or use properly.

Oh, and get off my lawn.

Chariotoflove > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 11:42

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Also, can confirm that it’s stupid to be hooning that fast on Huron River Drive.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Chariotoflove 05/31/2017 at 11:42

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Who is it? And I’m with you. Can’t name a single rich YT’er I like. I like Harry’s Garage but that’s probably the only one. And he isn’t even young.

And:

kanadanmajava1 > fintail 05/31/2017 at 11:45

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The affluenza comes to the rescue?

DrJohannVegas > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 11:45

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If my comments on the FP were any indication: I am mad as hell about this. Wasn’t a fan of the guy’s behavior in downtown AA, so it’s not a surprise that he drives like a dick on roads like Huron River Drive. Play stupid games, win stupid prizes. Just glad that none of my friends were riding in that area on Saturday.

(PS: I don’t really expect folks to read my FP comments.)

Chariotoflove > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 11:47

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I think his name is Tanner something. I’ll have to check with her.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Chariotoflove 05/31/2017 at 11:52

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Oh god no....It can’t be who I think it is.

It is....I’m so sorry for you. This is the future.

fintail > kanadanmajava1 05/31/2017 at 11:52

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I’d wager an awful lot that a working class kid hooning in a 20 year old Civic wouldn’t have got away scot-free.

Looking at the kid’s IG, it’s easy to see.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > DrJohannVegas 05/31/2017 at 11:55

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I’ll read your comments when and if I find them and I shall star them because they deserve it. And having spent a couple afternoons in Downtown this year, those streets are do damn narrow and the foot traffic is high as a kite, I don’t understand how and why anyone would think to do anything there. It’s the least car-friendly city I’ve been to in SE Michigan. It’s worse than Royal Oak!!

I want to believe there isn’t a person who can defend or excuse those things that were done.

B/Xmrrmvr > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 11:58

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This reminds me of yesterdays AOTD about “experiences that have ruined cars for you”. I’ve never had a experience that’s ruined one specific car for me, but I definitely have experienced douchebag enthusiasts (like Parker the Virgin) who generally make me feel less enthused about car culture in general.

Needmoargarage > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 11:59

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The owner appears to be a rich Chinese student with more money than driving ability or common sense. Also posted a video of himself doing 175mph on a public highway. He won’t learn a thing.

DipodomysDeserti > Chariotoflove 05/31/2017 at 12:00

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If my daughters ever bring home someone named Tanner or Parker, I’m going to have so much fun scaring the living shit out of them.

Milky > DrJohannVegas 05/31/2017 at 12:04

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Its a great road, but you can’t treat it like that. Especially around noon, actually lucky he didn’t take out a cyclist. The best time for a Huron River drive, drive is during a snow storm.

kanadanmajava1 > fintail 05/31/2017 at 12:05

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I would suppose so too.

Urambo Tauro > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 12:08

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Totally agree. AA sucks for cars. I used to drive through there all the time in a commercial truck, and I hated narrow streets like Washtenaw Ave.

And God help ya if you have to drive by UoM, and have to wait for the crosswalk to clear of pedestrians...

Cash Rewards > Chariotoflove 05/31/2017 at 12:13

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To be honest, there’s little difference between someone on YouTube, or tv, movies, sports, music, etc. It’s entertainment, and there is no value past someone being entertained, and someone else profiting. Football, NASCAR, Hollywood, YouTube ‘stars’...same shit.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Urambo Tauro 05/31/2017 at 12:20

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I never wanna have to park in that city again. Even the parking garage is a nightmare. But the food is great!

jimz > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 12:36

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TTAC ran a story about this douchenozzle a while back, and totally bought into his bullshit about how he made so much money from his youtube channel he could afford all of these cars. Matt Farah showed up to call “bullshit,” and another commenter pointed out his family is loaded.

Thankfully, most of these twats grow up eventually.

jimz > Cash Rewards 05/31/2017 at 12:38

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maybe it’s just a “kids these days” thing, but when I see stuff about YouTube “stars” like Fred or Ricky Dillon I can never understand why anyone would willingly pay any attention to these shrieking twats.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > jimz 05/31/2017 at 12:42

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They do? I thought we had a 69-year old one in office?

That’s the only *zing* I’ll be making today if it counts. Seriously, will I live long enough to see this day?

haveacarortwoorthree2 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 12:43

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Food is great in A2? Where? Granted, my time there is a bit dated but I can’t recall one notable restaurant from the 3 years I spent there (Zingerman’s doesn’t count as it is totally overrated).

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > haveacarortwoorthree2 05/31/2017 at 12:44

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I was trying to be nice...But there’s a Chinese restaurant I enjoy whenever I go. I’ve never even been to Zingerman’s.

Cash Rewards > jimz 05/31/2017 at 12:49

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Yeah, I agree. But someone my age now probably said the same thing about Nirvana, Pearl jam, and Ren and stimpy back in the day.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 12:55

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Anyone else think that he and Rob Dahm are, like, totes YouTube feud soulmates?

jimz > DipodomysDeserti 05/31/2017 at 12:58

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If your name is “Parker” I’m probably already annoyed by you.

S65 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 13:03

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Man, I can’t stand his channel. He’s so whiny

S65 > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 13:03

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Man, I can’t stand his channel. He’s so whiny

Chariotoflove > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 13:06

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It is. This kid has convinced me that Red Bull (or whatever he’s jacked up on) is worth than meth.

Chariotoflove > DipodomysDeserti 05/31/2017 at 13:07

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If you come up with something that works really well, please share it with me.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever 05/31/2017 at 13:07

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I met Rob too last year: Much better experience. Talked to me about the Diablo and let me explain why it was my favorite Lambo. He was knowledgeable and enthusiastic to talk to about cars and whatnot.

fintail > DrJohannVegas 05/31/2017 at 13:10

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If only there were stupid prizes. Apparently the kid walks away without a ticket, and mommy and daddy’s sketchy money will just buy him another car.

fintail > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 13:10

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Now you know why the French became fond of the guillotine :)

DipodomysDeserti > Chariotoflove 05/31/2017 at 13:16

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I have tattoos on my chest and stomach so I’ll probably just answer the door shirtless. That should be enough to scare someone named Parker or Tanner.

K-Roll-PorscheTamer > fintail 05/31/2017 at 13:17

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Shame we keep making fun of them like the fat kid in the corner.

Chariotoflove > Cash Rewards 05/31/2017 at 13:18

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I think there is a difference, depending on the form of the entertainment, not the medium used to disseminate it.

Sport, for instance, can inspire those watching to struggle and work toward excellence at something. Drama or other forms that tell a story can make a commentary on society and get people thinking about a concept or message. Car (or other infotainment) programs or youtube channels can educate the viewer about purchase or repair options even while entertaining.

Programs or channels that do nothing but show people wasting time goofing off and doing nothing of value send a message that it is perfectly acceptable, and even desirable, to fart around with your time learning nothing and doing nothing of value.

People like this Tanner kid my daughter watches can be doing things like showing what it’s like to work at a soup kitchen, or visit the Smithsonian, or climb a mountain and learn about ecosystems, or whatever. They could educate and inspire while they entertain. But they choose to be brainless goofballs.

Chariotoflove > DipodomysDeserti 05/31/2017 at 13:19

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I don’t need to get tattoos. I think I can just go shirtless with what I have and do the job nicely.

TomServo (Resides on the Satellite of Love) > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 14:18

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I always found Parker and his friends to be obnoxious. My favorite Youtubers are Doug Demuro and Nick Murray. Reminds me of the kid in my town who has a 458 and a Range Rover that he bought with “Bitcoin money” and lives with his parents.

fintail > K-Roll-PorscheTamer 05/31/2017 at 14:28

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Every now and then they have an interesting idea.

Your boy, BJR > DipodomysDeserti 05/31/2017 at 15:14

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Basically treat it like the dinner scene in Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2. If tanner/Parker can beat you in a chainsaw duel, they may have their hand in marriage. If not, you feed tanner/Parker to your girls to make them understand why they should never date a tanner/Parker.

Your boy, BJR > DipodomysDeserti 05/31/2017 at 17:27

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Tell them your Xs represent the last two, Hunter and Chandler.