Preparing for 6-hour Meeting

"Ash78, voting early and often" (ash78) 05/17/2017 at 10:20 • Filed to: None

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Time for our company-wide risk meeting, which happens twice a year. This year, we’re all doing it remotely instead of spending multiple days in alternating coastal cities (at a cost of $200k+ in travel expenses). Hopefully it goes well. I’m the “official minutes taker” which means I have to crank out ~15 pages of notes, which turns into 20+ pages after formatting. This is one of those meetings where you can’t stop paying attention, even for 20 seconds. We get 30 minutes for lunch in the middle. My body is ready.

30 oz RTIC tumbler (just water...for now)

Bluetooth headset (with earbuds as backup)

Phone charger

Oppo

Sheer Pre-Workout, which promises me Skin Ripping Pumps, Explosive Energy, and Rapid Strength Enhancement (not sure any of this applies to my work)

Optional (not pictured): Clonazepam, Defibrillator, Guitar

Tekamul > Ash78, voting early and often 05/17/2017 at 10:26

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6 hours of note taking. I’d never make it. We always record everything so notes can be done at a leisurely pace afterwords.

I’m half an hour from a 1-hour project kickoff meeting. I’m pretty sure I’ll doze off in the middle. Hopefully I’m not talking at the time.

Ash78, voting early and often > Tekamul 05/17/2017 at 10:30

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It’s been discussed, but internal counsel put the kibosh on it because proprietary off-the-record “chatter” could be released. Since the notes go to our industry regulators, as well, they determined no recording can be allowed.

Stapleface > Ash78, voting early and often 05/17/2017 at 10:32

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6 hours? That’s awful.

No amount of money could make me do that.

Tekamul > Ash78, voting early and often 05/17/2017 at 10:33

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That sucks, but I understand how regulation could hamper that. Thankfully all my (note required) calls are company-client only.

Ash78, voting early and often > Stapleface 05/17/2017 at 10:34

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Let’s just say it wasn’t in the job description, but I’m not rocking the boat...I work from home, which has been the best benefit I’ve ever had. And I didn’t have to fly anywhere this time, which is worth a bloody fortune. Normally it’s me on a laptop screen and keyboard trying to type quietly in a room with 100 people.

The nose-picking and farting will be off the chain today.

kanadanmajava1 > Ash78, voting early and often 05/17/2017 at 10:35

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I would try to fake my own death to avoid that task.

Ash78, voting early and often > kanadanmajava1 05/17/2017 at 10:36

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With that pre-workout drink, I might not have to fake it...

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Ash78, voting early and often 05/17/2017 at 10:45

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That one time you forget to put the headset on mute when using the toilet. That is my worst nightmare.

Ash78, voting early and often > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 05/17/2017 at 10:49

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I learned the hard way that when unplugging the headset, if you ’ re on mute it automatically defaults to speakerphone (UNmuted). I got called out for “ rustling papers around ” but I was really eating a granola bar. Still terrifying. And yes, one time my iPhone mute button literally stopped working, even though it showed muted.

gawdzillla > Ash78, voting early and often 05/17/2017 at 11:37

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i’d usually setup something to record it for this type of things

you know you’d miss something

Ash78, voting early and often > gawdzillla 05/17/2017 at 11:39

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We have 4 notetakers so nothing gets missed, I’m just the “head” :D

Recording could get you fired (see reply elsewhere).

For Sweden > Ash78, voting early and often 05/17/2017 at 11:40

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Tell them you want an anonymous reporting system that actually feeds into a file named “Who_To_Fire.txt”

S62B50daily > Ash78, voting early and often 05/17/2017 at 11:50

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I once put my phone on hold during a conference call. I was merely listening in and had to use the restroom. When I got back to my desk, a colleague IM’ed me about what just happened. Turns out that pressing hold does not mute the microphone, it plays muzak instead. I guess everybody took a break while listening to Kenny G.

With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username > Ash78, voting early and often 05/17/2017 at 12:17

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“Great job on the minutes, Ash78, but what does, ‘I hope you can let this Flynn thing go’ mean?”

Ash78, voting early and often > With-a-G is back to not having anything written after his username 05/17/2017 at 12:18

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Sorry, that was from my Walter White monologue to my son. I don’t like his stupid nickname. And now he’s saying “Say my name” all the time, too. That’s MY thing.

Meatcoma > Ash78, voting early and often 05/17/2017 at 13:44

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I think he means recording for translating to paper afterwards.

So if you picked up chatter by noting it or recording it, it has the same effect and if no one omits that when you turn it in...

Ash78, voting early and often > Meatcoma 05/17/2017 at 13:45

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Tell the lawyers...they absolutely forbid all recording, even internally. That’s why we have 4-5 people taking notes. It’s a huge pain, about 100 hours of my time over the next couple months.