Got a Dunkin' Energy Punch

"CalzoneGolem" (calzonegolem) 04/25/2017 at 15:07 • Filed to: None

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Please send help. I am now dead.

Coolatta Syrup + a tall boy of Monster

For Sweden > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 15:17

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Dunkin Donuts, like everything in the Acela Corridor, was a mistake.

CalzoneGolem > For Sweden 04/25/2017 at 15:21

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America runs on Dunkin

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 15:23

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“America runs”

Stapleface > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 15:25

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WTF is that?! It looks like Windex.

415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 15:26

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Is that like a donkey punch?

Textured Soy Protein > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 15:27

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I googled this concoction to find the nutrition information, and the first result was This New Dunkin’ Donuts Drink Is Just a Monster Energy Drink and a Coolatta .

This new drink is called the Dunkin’ Energy Punch Powered by Monster Energy , and according to a description provided to me by Dunkin’ Donuts, it’s a “combination of one can of Monster Energy and classic Dunkin’ Coolatta fruited flavors Blue Raspberry or Strawberry, served over ice.” That means when you order this drink, the employee behind the counter takes a cup and fills it with both an entire can of Monster Energy drink and what is essentially a fruit-flavored slushie. It’s really that simple, and it tastes exactly how you think it will.

I can’t find the nutrition info, but a Coolatta without a can of Monster added to it is 240, 360 or 480 calories depending on size (S, M, L). Since they contain no fat or protein, I can only assume that 100% of those calories come from the 61, 91 or 122 g (S, M, L) of sugar.

Now my teeth hurt.

CalzoneGolem > Stapleface 04/25/2017 at 15:28

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12 parts sugar to 3 parts windex

CalzoneGolem > 415s30 W123TSXWaggoIIIIIIo ( •_•))°) 04/25/2017 at 15:29

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Yeah but bluer.

CalzoneGolem > Textured Soy Protein 04/25/2017 at 15:30

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Ouch my kidneys.

Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Textured Soy Protein 04/25/2017 at 15:32

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i need this in my life

OPPOsaurus WRX > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 15:35

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the other night I was up late working. My late evening snack was a Monster energy drink and a spicy chicken flavor raman bowl. My insides hurt. It felt like I had drank battery acid.

CalzoneGolem > OPPOsaurus WRX 04/25/2017 at 15:38

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Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 15:39

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I’m gonna need that

Textured Soy Protein > Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero 04/25/2017 at 15:40

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Eat this and sip on some water, it’s basically the same thing.

CalzoneGolem > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 04/25/2017 at 15:40

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If I had to do it over I’d go with strawberry over blue raspberry.

OneFastPuertoRican > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 15:46

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Congrats on your diabeetus.

CalzoneGolem > OneFastPuertoRican 04/25/2017 at 15:48

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OPPOsaurus WRX > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 15:50

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not really heart burn but more intestinal inferno / toilet melting explosives

crowmolly > Textured Soy Protein 04/25/2017 at 15:53

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I made this yesterday. ON Gainer vs. Starbucks drink-of-the-week:

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 15:55

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Gib

CalzoneGolem > Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras 04/25/2017 at 15:59

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You can have it.

user314 > Stapleface 04/25/2017 at 16:01

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Sampsonite24-Earth's Least Likeliest Hero > Textured Soy Protein 04/25/2017 at 16:07

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challenge accepted

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 16:14

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That would probably land me on the toilet pretty quick.

CalzoneGolem > Shamoononon drives like a farmer 04/25/2017 at 16:16

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I had to dump it out into the toilet. 

Shamoononon drives like a farmer > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 16:18

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Better voluntarily than your intestines taking charge.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 16:19

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I HAVE THE POWERRRRRRR

CalzoneGolem > Shamoononon drives like a farmer 04/25/2017 at 16:19

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I mean I could pick a tree instead of a toilet but you’re absolutely right.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > CalzoneGolem 04/25/2017 at 16:24

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Comes with a side of Insulin?

CalzoneGolem > Highlander-Datsuns are Forever 04/25/2017 at 16:27

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Gotta make your own.

Camshaft Chris: Skyline/McLaren/Porsche Fanboy > For Sweden 04/25/2017 at 16:41

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Don’t you dare try to ruin my dreams of the Acela.

Stapleface > user314 04/25/2017 at 16:57

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I love this episode of TNG!