Here's a story about my experience with a 8 year old angel of death

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats) 04/21/2017 at 14:22 • Filed to: None

6

7

I just remembered this and felt like sharing.

Over a decade ago when I still had a landline, I started getting these messages left on my answering machine by a kid who sounded like he was maybe 8-10 years old. In a trying to be creepy deep voice, he’d leave messages like “I am deaaaaath. I’m coming to kill you tonight. Fuuuuuuuck. Fuck. Shit. You’re going to die.” I guess he was just dialing random numbers and liked mine because it was hooked up, so he’d call maybe once or twice a week. Obviously I didn’t take it seriously, because if baby Satan wanted to kill me, he’d have to get in line behind all of the people whose balls have already dropped.

After a while though, I got sort of tired of having to explain to people “oh, no, we’re not in a slasher film. That’s just some weird kid who calls me when he gets bored with making necklaces out of stray cats’ heads.”

I forget if I did a *69 or what, but somehow I got the number and the city it was registered to and called their local PD and told them that the little weirdo was getting irritating. The officer I spoke to said they’d send someone by the house and speak to his parents.

About a week later I get another message on my machine. It went something like

Kid: “you’re going to die. I am death. I am coming for you toni–”

Adult: “You mother fucker! What the fuck are you doing to piece of shit”

Kid: Screams, presumably while being beaten

Now, I’m not an advocate for child abuse, and I’m sure that this home environment led to this kid being such a little weirdo in the first place, and I assume that he didn’t mature into a well-adjusted adult, buuuuut, he never did call again.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Honeybunchesofgoats 04/21/2017 at 14:26

14

Alternate title: What YouTube commenters did before YouTube.

Textured Soy Protein > Honeybunchesofgoats 04/21/2017 at 14:28

9

And then he grew up to be a fine contributing member of society.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Textured Soy Protein 04/21/2017 at 14:30

4

Dave the car guy , still here > Honeybunchesofgoats 04/21/2017 at 14:35

4

^^^^^ THIS ^^^^^

DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time > Honeybunchesofgoats 04/21/2017 at 14:37

1

Die-Trying > Honeybunchesofgoats 04/21/2017 at 14:38

4

good ol’ Paul Harvey.........

Corkscrew'd > Honeybunchesofgoats 04/21/2017 at 15:57

1

This kinda reminds me of the time my brother tried to “prank” my mom for April Fools Day years ago by pretending there was an accident in front of the house and someone was hurt. She panics, calls the ambulance, and then finds out it was all a joke and has to call the police department and tell them the truth.

The spanking my brother got that day was legendary.