Making relationships, baby

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats) 04/19/2017 at 12:56 • Filed to: None

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I don’t have the energy to rant about what led to this, but suffice it to say that coworkers who have interns should not get to set standards for people who don’t have their own personal slaves to do shitty time wasting work for them. This basically means having to trawl my database and typeset in Word, because we’ve now decided that we can’t trust designers who have Illustrator and are paid to do things like typeset.

Instead, I decided to create a report that pulls up to three records into a single page, but not every time, because some records would only go on one page. It works like a charm, because I am the OG of relational databases. Above is the draft I sketched out very messily, because I’m old and can’t think without paper.

I feel sort of sorry for my coworkers’ interns who are going to have to try and typeset this bullshit in Word with specifications for line spacing that go down to the millimeter. But not sorry enough to disseminate my database, since it means I’ll be producing work much faster than everyone else.

Chariotoflove > Honeybunchesofgoats 04/19/2017 at 13:08

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Typesetting in Word? Why in the world would they want professional designers to not use a dedicated page layout program?

On a side note, I wish I had some relational database genius of my own. I’d write a mouse colony tracking program the way I want it. I’ve never seen one that works as it really should.

Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius > Honeybunchesofgoats 04/19/2017 at 13:24

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I’m in the sign business and have vector tolerance down to a thousandth.

My wife gives me crap to reproduce she made in word and then wants to cut it apart with the paper chopper with even margins and correct bleeds and shit. The real trouble with Word is you open or change a doc and come back to it and I swear shit moves around.

I’m in the sign business. Not a print company

Honeybunchesofgoats > Chariotoflove 04/19/2017 at 13:41

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That’s where the insanity comes in. The actual designers will lay everything out using a professional program, but everyone has now decided that designers are evil and stupid, so the standard practice is now to send the designers an almost final mock up and then have them follow that and lay it out. The fear is that if you just give designers text and it doesn’t fit, they might change the text and the world would end.

The best way to learn is to just practice on random databases and Google as you get stuck. I suggest doing something like getting a copy of Filemaker and then designing a practice database for car maintenance or something else around the house.

Honeybunchesofgoats > Drakkon- Most Glorious and Upright Person of Genius 04/19/2017 at 13:44

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I’d even sooner lay out a page in PowerPoint than do it in Word. I know that I would immediately end up smashing something if I even attempted to use Word for that sort of thing.

Chariotoflove > Honeybunchesofgoats 04/19/2017 at 16:25

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That’s kind of the way I learn anything software anymore, dive in and Google if I get stuck. I just need to get motivated and find the time.

Chariotoflove > Honeybunchesofgoats 04/19/2017 at 16:31

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Also, that green XK seems to have been taken out of circulation.