Features On A Car That Almost No-one (or at least I didn't) Asked For

"TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy" (thebimmerguy) 04/03/2017 at 19:48 • Filed to: my two cars have a 33 year age gap between them and getting used to new technology i didnt ask for is surprisingly difficult

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Apparently the ‘17 Cruze has a feature that when you go to upshift, it will first hang, then slowly go down and stop at the right rpms for the next gear up. I don’t like this because sometimes I make a 2-4 shift or a 3-6 (that one is getting onto the highway.) Also I stalled because the hill anti-rollback feature wouldn’t let go of the brakes before I released the clutch. Also I can’t turn these off, guess I have some more adapting to do. So oppo, does your car have any features that you don’t like or think no-one asked for?

Levitas > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 19:52

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Oh my god, big one for Fiesta ST: the convenient push button on the handle to lock/unlock?

Once you press it to lock the vehicle, it disables the button for ~3 seconds.

Let’s say you’re a total dumbass and forgot to set the parking brake or put it in gear before you got out of your car with your hands full and press that button?

Car rolls away and you can’t unlock it again for 3 seconds.

Let’s say you left your car unlocked to run and grab something and you come back and press the button? Car is now locked, and the button doesn’t work for 3 seconds.

Absolutely infuriating.

Ram_Riot_6 > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 19:52

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On my Mazda6, I can change the volume level of the blinker click. I love that it has such a useless feature, but who brought it up as a feature to begin with?

Takuro Spirit > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 19:55

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I swear the dumbing down of manual transmissioned vehicles are ruining the manual more than the people who won’t buy them.

Ever since the late 90's when clutch pedals became feather light and they started offering hill-hold....

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > Levitas 04/03/2017 at 19:57

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If i had that, the few times it would effect me, it would be maddening, I feel bad for you.

Tekamul > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 19:59

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My wife’s Audi also has hill assist. I stalled it the first day because it wouldn’t let go. At steep lights, you have to abuse the clutch to get anywhere. It’s idiotic.

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > Ram_Riot_6 04/03/2017 at 19:59

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Well, some blinkers seem too quiet to me, but then again I like to turn the music up a little. Mine has a chime volume setting, which at it lowest is still a decent volume that can’t be missed

smobgirl > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 20:00

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I used the hill assist for the first 6 months or so I was driving stick and learned quickly to hate it once I knew what I was doing.

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > Tekamul 04/03/2017 at 20:02

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Sometimes it will let go if you press the gas but then you grind the clutch, either way it feels really inconsistent to me. It sucks that people like me and many other manual drivers who can take off with minimal roll, have to deal with that, and can’t turn it off.

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > Takuro Spirit 04/03/2017 at 20:04

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Makes me wonder why I learned how to drive a car without modern safety features first if I have to be held back by many assists in newer cars.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 20:05

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Newer cars hang a bit when you release the throttle and engage the clutch because snapping the throttle closed is bad for emissions.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 20:09

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One weird one that I can see why some people would like but I don’t agree with on principle is the brake holding on the new Civics.

When I test drove one, there’s a button you can push where whenever you come to a complete stop, it will hold the brakes for you so you can do something other than the gargantuan task of keeping the brake pedal pressed at a red light.

It can be convenient but the last thing I want is people dawdling at red lights because they don’t have to pay any attention anymore and they’re instagramming or texting or looking for shit in the back seat or some other kind of nonsense.

At red lights, drivers should be doing one thing: waiting for the red lights to go out like at the beginning of a grand prix. This is one of the few scenarios in which I really get upset with other drivers - pay attention and GO when it says you can GO. Even more frustrating are those drivers that keep edging into the intersection when the lights are red but do fuck all when it actually turns green.

Kind of went on a tangent there, but yeah, the brake hold feature seems unnecessary to me.

AestheticsInMotion > Takuro Spirit 04/03/2017 at 20:10

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Drives me crazy. Every review I’ve read of manual transmission cars and nobody mentions how terrible the clutch is. They give you such a huge range to work with you lose all pedal feel

functionoverfashion > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 20:10

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My wife’s X3 has hill hold, but I’ve never once had it trip me up. It seems to always release at exactly the right point. It will also release after a set time, so you can’t just press the brakes and let go, it will only hold for maybe 2 seconds (?) before releasing even if you don’t move.

functionoverfashion > Takuro Spirit 04/03/2017 at 20:12

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I drove a rental diesel hatchback a few years ago, and it had hill-hold and throttle blip - basically in first or reverse, when you started to let the clutch out it would blip the throttle automatically. It was weird, but then you could maneuver in and out of a parking spot without ever touching the throttle. Kind of nice? Not something I’ve ever wished for, and it would probably create a driver who couldn’t handle a manual that didn’t have the feature....

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 04/03/2017 at 20:13

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Yeah, looked that up a few months ago I think, something about a ‘cleaner and fuller burn.’ I personally believe it to be ‘cheating’ because it makes emissions tests easier, if a car from 84 can pass without rev hang, why do new cars need it? I will admit that I don’t have too many regards to the environment when it comes to cars, but I understand it’s important and I can make compromises, but rev hang is really pushing it for me.

Takuro Spirit > AestheticsInMotion 04/03/2017 at 20:13

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It MIGHT be because I learned on a 80's truck with a cable clutch, and my first long-term manual DD had a cable clutch... I just like a stiff pedal where you can feel the grab point.

functionoverfashion > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 20:15

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Also: my 325xi wagon has hill descent control. WHY? And you can program the rear wiper to whatever interval you want from 1 second to 25 seconds.

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > gin-san - shitpost specialist 04/03/2017 at 20:16

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Unnecessary but I can see why it exists, or why it would be relevant to me, I sometimes hold the brake with my left foot because my right shoe has come loose, but I only do that at long lights and keep my head above the dash.

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > functionoverfashion 04/03/2017 at 20:17

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I think mine is 3 seconds, but that’s 3 seconds I can’t move and piss off everyone behind me

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > functionoverfashion 04/03/2017 at 20:20

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The wiper made me chuckle a little, mine will swipe once or twice when put in reverse, which I can see to be very helpful, but it made me cringe today because I haven’t washed my car in a week and it scraped dirt across my rear windshield. 

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 20:21

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A car from 84 probably couldn’t pass a modern test.

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 04/03/2017 at 20:29

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Unless I’m making a fool out of myself (which does happen more than I want to admit) my e28 passed its smog test last June with from what I understand to be flying colors, so...

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 20:34

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I bet that’s an emissions thing to keep you from driving in a (fun) manner that makes the car pollute more.

Übel > functionoverfashion 04/03/2017 at 20:34

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I’ve had the same experience with my Forester. I pride myself in my flawless hill starts, but the Subaru system seems very intelligent and it has yet to hold me in place against my will.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 20:35

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Lower standard, probably. No OBDII, for example.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 20:36

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My dash gives a chime whenever the ambient temp dips below 38°f. Why? Not only is that number completely arbitrary but THANK YOU CAR FOR TELLING ME THAT IT’S COLD OUT I WASN’T ABLE TO TELL.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > functionoverfashion 04/03/2017 at 20:36

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Then why buy one, right?

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo 04/03/2017 at 20:38

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*shakes fist and yells incoherently at the government*

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 20:39

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CA right? Check item 4 which states that older vehicles are held to lower standards than new vehicles.

https://www.smogcheck.ca.gov/FormsPubs/Q&As_Smog_Check_Program.html#Question3

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 04/03/2017 at 20:42

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Could be a possible ice warning, mine will ding and the dash will say something like ‘Possible icy conditions, drive carefully and be aware of your surroundings.’ The bmw on the other hand, it isn’t intentional, but when cold enough for ice, the clock glitches out a little.

Textured Soy Protein > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 04/03/2017 at 20:45

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You must drive a BMW because I also hate this fucking thing.

I even had my car custom coded to unlock certain hidden settings but the guy who did it said there’s no way whatsoever to remove the damned frost warning.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 20:46

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The FiST has rev hang and a feature like that. I tuned it out. Also, the traction control is more dangerous in the rain than having it off.

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 04/03/2017 at 20:46

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My car does the same thing. It sends me into a panic everytime.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 20:47

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The Clutch Delay Valve. https://www.zeckhausen.com/catalog/index.php?cPath=6562

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > Textured Soy Protein 04/03/2017 at 20:49

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I’ve got access to a scantool that can do that coding and there’s no option for that.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 20:50

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When it’s REALLY cold the radio LCD flickers a bit.

facw > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 04/03/2017 at 20:51

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I just get a little snowflake icon on the instrument panel to warn about possible ice.

BlueMazda2 - Blesses the rains down in Africa, Purveyor of BMW Individual Arctic Metallic, Merci Twingo > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 04/03/2017 at 21:15

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I know you have a BMW, but rest assured that I share your struggle as a VW owner.

I live in Florida, though, so I only get the snowflake a few days out of the year.

It’s very loud and annoying, but I find it pretty interesting.

smobgirl > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 04/03/2017 at 21:17

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Company car does this, I always expect it’s something awful (because old Jetta).

smobgirl > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 21:19

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I do it if my foot itches or I realize after driving 3 blocks that my shoes are too impractical for a clutch.

E90M3 > functionoverfashion 04/03/2017 at 21:28

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Both my BMWs have the hill hold, it works so much better than the one Mercedes use. Like it let’s go the instant the clutch bites and you’re off. I stalled a couple times in a rental Mercedes because the hill hold was dim witted and I wasn’t a very experience for manual driver.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 04/03/2017 at 21:30

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On mine the temperature on the dash blinks for a few seconds when it hits 37. It’s a nice little visual que, but I’d hate it if it beeped too.

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com 04/03/2017 at 21:34

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It’s loud too. It’s the same chime used for an unbuckled seat belt.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 04/03/2017 at 21:35

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The CDV removal how-to was one of the most popular posts on the Hyundai forum I used to frequent when I owned one.

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 21:35

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Automatic transmissions. Get off my lawn :P

AestheticsInMotion > Takuro Spirit 04/03/2017 at 21:44

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I’m with ya. My 1st gen Miata was never know for having a stellar clutch,pretty mediocre for the times, but compared to similar modern sporty cars... I test drove a Fiesta ST and it seems crazy to me that they’d put such an awful (but super easy to learn on, I guess) clutch in a manual-only car aimed at enthusiasts. Brz wasn’t as bad, but still not great

functionoverfashion > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 21:44

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What’s funny is the procedure for doing it is something you have to do every time, it doesn’t remember. So, turn on then off quickly. Now count for your desired interval as long as it’s inside of 25 seconds. Turn wiper back on, it should now reflect the new interval. I never get it right, and end up not bothering.

On your dirt issue - my washer nozzle isn’t placed in the middle and the wiper starts wiping before the window is really wet. So if it’s dirty back there, I hesitate to use the washer because it will scrape all the dirt for at least one pass, maybe 2 before it’s wet/clean. Agh!

FTTOHG Has Moved to https://opposite-lock.com > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 04/03/2017 at 21:44

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This new Outback I have as a loaner has the least intimidating seat belt reminder chime. It’s actually three notes rather than the typical ding-dong or beep beep almost like a little text message alert. The forward collision warning that activated a little later when I got cut off by someone who forgot their exit on my way home was obnoxious. Like a stall warning in an aircraft. I guess that’s why they made the seat belt chime less intrusive - so you actually listen to the really serious warnings. I would think the ice warning would be best if it was ya own sound or maybe even a voice from the sat nav that just said “attention, icy conditions possible.”

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > TheTurbochargedSquirrel 04/03/2017 at 22:05

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Well I’ll be darned, now I’m curious what it would do on a test for, oh idk 2010, the numbers would be interesting

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 22:06

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Find a friend with a newer car and compare their numbers to your cars numbers.

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > functionoverfashion 04/03/2017 at 22:06

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My rear doesn’t have a washer, or I couldn’t find it

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 04/03/2017 at 22:09

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Evil, evil, that means no clutch kicking, no burnouts, and no quick shifts that make you feel like a profesional, evil

functionoverfashion > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 22:10

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Mine is just pushing the wiper arm down/forward/away from the wheel a little more than it takes just to turn on the rear wiper....

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 04/03/2017 at 22:11

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As soon as my warranty runs out, I’m tuning the rev hang away, also does your traction control have a procedure to turn it off? Or is an awesome one that is just one button touch?

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 22:16

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I have a modified valve to put in but it’s a messy job and I’m having difficulty finding the motivation to do it :|

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 22:31

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One button turns off TC, holding that button turns off ESC.

Dusty Ventures > functionoverfashion 04/03/2017 at 22:36

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I wish I could change the interval of my rear wiper. It’s way too short

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 04/03/2017 at 22:57

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The only motivation you should need is those moments where a quick shift makes you feel awesome.

Tazio, Count Fouroff > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/03/2017 at 23:28

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Weird about the Cruz MT. Never knew three-pedal iron could even play mind games like that.

//Let’s see, how many would you like?

1. iDrive

2. Tacky-ass pseudo-laptop display front and center on the center stack.

3. Clutch delay valve (as mentioned by other poster).

4. C Major first inversion chord every time you get in the car.

5. Must depress clutch when starting.

And, and, and...wait — was that enough?? Lol

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > Tazio, Count Fouroff 04/04/2017 at 00:47

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I actually do have the fifth one and I don’t mind it because even in the bmw I always press the brake and clutch when I start it, I like it because the cruze is a push start (or is it button start, keyless?) and I always park in first gear, though I did try to start the bmw without clutching and it was like being on a mechanical bull. Everything else on that list, why, pls have mercy on my soul

Tazio, Count Fouroff > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/04/2017 at 01:14

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Agreed..,with the proviso that in cold weather it’s less load on the starter(if I have this right?) and therefore the battery if you can start the car in neutral with clutch pedal out. Or something. Also that much less wear on the throwout bearing.

Given that your Cruz is MT — good on you — it also comes with (if I have this right) optional, user-actuated push start for need-based emergency application lol 

TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy > Tazio, Count Fouroff 04/04/2017 at 03:31

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I’d think it would be best if the clutch pedal was in because even in neutral the transmission is still spinning and is more weight to turn, but I don’t know the facts or the science. And yes, it can be pushed down a hill to be started, I’d rather not have to resort to that.

Chinny Raccoon > gin-san - shitpost specialist 04/04/2017 at 03:59

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Isn’t that the hand brake?

pip bip - choose Corrour > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/04/2017 at 06:41

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all technology

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Chinny Raccoon 04/04/2017 at 10:08

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Maybe it acts as the handbrake, but this button had a specific function where when it was activated it would leave the brakes applied after coming to a full stop and automatically let go of the brakes when you press the gas.

I didn’t check to see if there was a separate handbrake lever/button.

functionoverfashion > Dusty Ventures 04/04/2017 at 10:31

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What’s funny is, mine is too short by default. But you have to program it for a longer time every time you want it to be longer than default. I know, hardship.

Tazio, Count Fouroff > TheBimmerGuyWhoNowOwnsAChevy 04/04/2017 at 17:13

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Haha yeah push startz are not ideal but good when one needs them, though. Amateur tip lol — they work in Reverse gear too (I can prove this)! As long as you’re in a place where backing up is ok when the engine catches.

I’m pretty sure that if

a) the clutch pedal is depressed; or

b) the clutch pedal is not depressed but the gearshift is in Neutral, an MT is 100% decoupled from the engine and does not spin.

Actually it’s weird. Check this out — when the clutch pedal is depressed, the clutch [plate] is disengaged . When the pedal is out, the clutch is engaged, unless the gearshift is in Neutral. Or something like that