Existential Oppo: What are "real women?"

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck)
03/15/2017 at 18:28 • Filed to: P r o f o u n d

According to this sticker on a Hyundai, “real women love football, smart women love the Seahawks.”

So according to this driver, not only are you dumb for not rooting for her local sportsball team; But if you don’t like football at all?

YOU

DON’T

EVEN

EXIST

DISCUSSION (31)

NSeXy 4U > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/15/2017 at 18:31

I love football. Therefore, I am real.

Xyl0c41n3 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/15/2017 at 18:33

It’s about as dumb as a the “real men drive stick” or “real men use three pedals” stickers.

FTR: I love football, but am not a particular fan of the Seahawks. Does this mean I’m only half real?

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Xyl0c41n3
03/15/2017 at 18:33

It means you’re real and dumb, per sticker.

gin-san - shitpost specialist > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/15/2017 at 18:34

Well, she’s got a point: all of the imaginary women I know don’t like football.

fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/15/2017 at 18:35

Santa Fe with Seahawks stickers is something I steer clear from in traffic.

MrDakka > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/15/2017 at 18:40

Are you sure about that? If you exist, why would you try to convince something that doesn’t exist that it doesn’t exist? Unless it does exist and you are trying to confirm its existence by insisting on its nonexistence.

bob and john > Xyl0c41n3
03/15/2017 at 18:43

yes, the other half of you that you THINK is real actually is Enzos pillow.

Xyl0c41n3 > bob and john
03/15/2017 at 18:43

I’m ok with this. :D

bob and john > Xyl0c41n3
03/15/2017 at 18:43

jesus that was the fastest reply I have ever gotten in all of kinja

Xyl0c41n3 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
03/15/2017 at 18:43

As long as I’m not real dumb, I guess that’s not too bad. :P

aberson Bresident of the FullyAssed Committe > NSeXy 4U
03/15/2017 at 18:47

False: There are no girls on the internet.

Xyl0c41n3 > bob and john
03/15/2017 at 18:47

Lol. Maybe I’m prescient. :)

bob and john > Xyl0c41n3
03/15/2017 at 18:49

no i mean that was CONCERNINGLY quick. like you had it copy pasted and were waiting for someone to comment

wafflesnfalafel > Xyl0c41n3
03/15/2017 at 18:51

Except my entire manliness paradigm and self esteem is built around driving a manual transmission vehicle on a daily basis. I’ll be huddled in the corner over here... >sob<

Xyl0c41n3 > bob and john
03/15/2017 at 18:55

Erm... ok? Except I didn’t. I replied to Zoidberg, went to the restroom, came back and sat down at my desk, realized I wanted water, so walked back to the water cooler, sat back down at my desk again, put my headphones in, picked up my phone and checked my notifications and boom, there was your reply to me. Clicked it and replied to you.

Here’s Enzo using deciding my foot is the perfect place to sit. :)

Kinja'd!!!

bob and john > Xyl0c41n3
03/15/2017 at 18:58

*nabs enzo and feeds him timmies*

TheTurbochargedSquirrel > bob and john
03/15/2017 at 18:58

You don’t have an “I’m OK with this!” macro?

bob and john > TheTurbochargedSquirrel
03/15/2017 at 19:01

last I checked my Marcos are as follows

1: “SV650s are the BEST”
2: “DANK WHOOLIES BRUH”
3: “ATGATT”
4: “I bought another bike”
5: “I ordered bike parts.”

Xyl0c41n3 > bob and john
03/15/2017 at 19:02

*nabs Maggie and feeds her Texas BBQ*