Seen on the back window of a freaking Jeep Patriot:

"Bryan doesn't drive a 1M" (bryantakespictures)
03/07/2017 at 22:58 • Filed to: None

A window sticker that just said “your prius sucks”.

Fine, but every Prius ever made is better in every way, including off-roading, than the best Jeep Patriot. That’s an objective fact.

DISCUSSION (33)

Nibby > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
03/07/2017 at 23:02

Having driven both... the Patriot is far worse.

TheHondaBro > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
03/07/2017 at 23:06

But the Jeep won a war, soooo....

wafflesnfalafel > TheHondaBro
03/07/2017 at 23:10

I believe a few things have changed in the last 70+ years...

Milky > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
03/07/2017 at 23:13

Fun Fact! IIRC when it came out Jeep said it was only the compact crossover with low range. Probably not real low range, but a “crawl mode.” So with the optional AWD system its not bad off road for what it is.

fhrblig > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
03/07/2017 at 23:15

At least that sticker wasn’t on the back of a Jeep Compass...

TheHondaBro > wafflesnfalafel
03/07/2017 at 23:20

Mainly that people seem to have forgotten the Soviets role in WWII.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > Milky
03/07/2017 at 23:20

“Crawl mode” is all the Prius does!

CRider > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
03/07/2017 at 23:23

Patriots are shit, but they’re better off road than a Prius.

19JRC99 > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
03/07/2017 at 23:27

I hate the Patriot, but the Prius stands for just about everything I hate. I’d rather drive the worst Patriot than the best Prius.

Chuckles > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
03/07/2017 at 23:32

I was really hoping for one of those “It’s a Jeep thing...you wouldn’t understand” stickers, or maybe the upside down “if you can read this...flip me over!” stickers.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > TheHondaBro
03/07/2017 at 23:37

Slaughtering the Poles?

Milky > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
03/07/2017 at 23:38

Kinja'd!!!

Matthew Phillips > CRider
03/07/2017 at 23:56

If they were lift friendly they would honestly be the modern XJ...

I DD an XJ so I can say this

bhtooefr > Milky
03/08/2017 at 00:02

Basically, it just has a 8.23:1 final drive instead of the standard CVT’s 6.18:1 final drive. That’s all “crawl mode” means. (This also means that the top gear is lower, because the CVT itself is unmodified.)

HammerheadFistpunch > Milky
03/08/2017 at 00:33

what bhtiiefr said, no low range, just a low first gear. Same with the renegade. Not so with the cherokee though, that has a low range.

HammerheadFistpunch > CRider
03/08/2017 at 00:35

have you noticed these clips are almost always descending?

HammerheadFistpunch > Matthew Phillips
03/08/2017 at 00:37

size wise, the renegade is the modern XJ

http://oppositelock.kinja.com/small-cars-1785368186

Matthew Phillips > HammerheadFistpunch
03/08/2017 at 00:41

Yea, but the Patriot is also a compact box thing an I still stand on my previous comment.

CRider > HammerheadFistpunch
03/08/2017 at 00:49

Well they did say it was a dead end trail, so they got that thing out of there one way or another.

HammerheadFistpunch > Matthew Phillips
03/08/2017 at 00:51

I hear ya.

HammerheadFistpunch > CRider
03/08/2017 at 00:52

just noticing a trend with lots of these soft-roader clips, most of the really gnarly stuff is downhill.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
03/08/2017 at 00:56

That’s like a fat kid calling another fat kid, “fatso”. It’s just sort of pitiful.

Frenchlicker > HammerheadFistpunch
03/08/2017 at 05:44

I’m going to guess it has less interior space overall though.

Master Cylinder > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
03/08/2017 at 06:37

The rest of the sticker probably just fell off. Y’know, the part that said, “but my Patriot is objectively worse in almost every way”

The Jeep Patriot retains the title of “Worst Car I’ve Ever Driven. Seriously, Just Driving It Made Me Angry.”

And that’s coming from a guy who used to DD a Suzuki Sidekick made from the good halves of two Suzuki Sidekicks cut and welded together.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
03/08/2017 at 07:54

I mean I agree, but something pot something something kettle black

and 100 more > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
03/08/2017 at 08:53

I know quite a few Patriot owners; this does not surprise me.

But your facts are only objective in the sense that the word “literally” now means anything but. The Patriot is a solid trail rig in awd trim.

HammerheadFistpunch > Frenchlicker
03/08/2017 at 09:55

oh way less

Milky > bhtooefr
03/08/2017 at 10:30

Haha, sounds like some cheap engineering. Not really the dumbest thing though, since no one is going over 100 in them.

Milky > HammerheadFistpunch
03/08/2017 at 10:31

I figured if I got it wrong you’d be in here to correct me.

IAN_Z > Bryan doesn't drive a 1M
03/08/2017 at 11:25

Prius hate is so played out . . . 5 years ago. Now it’s just inexplicable/annoying. There’s a weird macho posturing angle to it.

Bryan doesn't drive a 1M > IAN_Z
03/08/2017 at 11:40

From an engineering angle, the Prius is awesome. Unlike the Camry, which is meant to be acceptable at many things, the Prius was designed to be excellent at one thing: fuel economy. At the cost of design, driving dynamics, interior quality, speed, etc, Toyota made the most fuel efficient (gas-powered) car that they could. That’s undeniably a little bit cool.

Do I want to own or drive one? No. Do I get annoyed having to pass 3 Priuii in a row on the right because their drivers don’t know how lanes work? Yes. Is it better than a goddamn Jeep Patriot? Absolutely.

Frenchlicker > HammerheadFistpunch
03/08/2017 at 12:12

That’s what I figured. What with the space required for a better crash structure and a billion airbags and add to that make everything flow properly and it makes it seem like every piece of trim is a foot thick.

HammerheadFistpunch > Frenchlicker
03/08/2017 at 12:12

its like the 4runner and my cruiser. They are pretty close to the same size on the outside...but no where close on the inside.