Cow Roaming the Streets of NYC, Proving NYC is the Worst

"For Sweden" (rallybeetle)
02/21/2017 at 12:42 • Filed to: Ban New York City, Cowlopnik

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There’s a cow on the streets of NYC, and NYC being NYC, none of the 8 million people who live there know how to catch a cow. Because food comes from a bodega, obviously. Also farmers and ranchers are terrible people who probably don’t even read The New Republic.

Here’s how a normal municipality handles such an occurrence. Notice the lack of helicopters and panicking.

DISCUSSION (25)

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 12:49

It’s Queens. I’m sure there are some farmers out there who can take care of it. I mean, I guess. What’s in Queens? Farms, right?

Honeybunchesofgoats > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
02/21/2017 at 12:50

I was just about to comment “I’m sure New York City could handle a rampant cow, but this is Queens.”

For Sweden > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
02/21/2017 at 12:51

Queens is flyover country, because you fly over it to get to the Hamptons

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Honeybunchesofgoats
02/21/2017 at 12:52

There was a deer in Manhattan for a while until DeBlasshole had it shot. That’s right. DeBlasio’s the one who shot Bambi’s mom.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 12:53

It’s not even that. It’s the fly-to country. It’s where we go to get on a plane and nothing else.

For Sweden > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
02/21/2017 at 12:54

Flying out of JFK/LGA instead of Teterboro?

Wow

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 12:56

They’re both in Queens.

TorqueToYield > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 12:56

Not even the first time it’s happened:

https://www.nytimes.com/2016/01/23/nyregion/cow-that-escaped-new-york-slaughterhouse-finds-sanctuary.html?_r=0

Wonder if it’s the Halal slaughterhouse...again.

For Sweden > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
02/21/2017 at 12:56

I don’t know what you’re talking about

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 12:57

JFK over LGA?

Thought you were implying that I was taking a pick, though I would absolutely fly out of JFK vs LGA. Coming in doesn’t matter as much, but both airports are in Queens.

For Sweden > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
02/21/2017 at 12:58

Kinja not pushing my edit in time :(

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 13:03

See the edit now. Still would rather do Newark if we’re going that route because the only transit option to Teterboro’s through the Port Authority Bus Terminal, which is a bus and takes longer while Newark has an NJT stop right at the airport 20 minutes out from Penn Station.

Tekamul > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 13:03

STORY TIME

In my very rural town, our high school football team practiced on a multi-purpose field that bordered the woods.

One day, in the middle of practice, a loose cow wandered out of the woods and on to our field. Without a word, our starting TE breaks off his square route and wraps the cow in a head lock, driving it to the ground. Of course he had no rope or other material to further immobilize the beast, so he just let it go, for it to run off back to the woods. Thankfully I was playing tackle, and therefore only had to make sure the cow didn’t reach the QB.

That TE/Cowboy is currently in jail, on a charge not related to livestock.

DipodomysDeserti > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 13:20

Judging by that second video, it seems that the fine citizens of Lubbock, Texas, deal with loose cows the same way as New Yorkers. Lubbock just had ranchers around to wrangle them.

For Sweden > DipodomysDeserti
02/21/2017 at 13:21

Lubbock brings in experts, while NYC tries to cut off a cow with a van.

NYC is not sending their best! Sad.

Mid Engine > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 13:41

What in the actual fuck did those Texas boys say? Jesus fucking Christ, I need a Texan => English translation app

For Sweden > Mid Engine
02/21/2017 at 13:42

Illiteracy is your problem, not theirs -_-

Mid Engine > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 13:46

I’m trilingual, nice try. I think I’ll need a serious head injury to converse with those lads

For Sweden > Mid Engine
02/21/2017 at 13:47

Apparently you picked the wrong three

Birddog > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 14:02

This made my day! Thanks!

Dave the car guy , still here > Mid Engine
02/21/2017 at 14:23

I worked in Houston for 7 yrs, understood every word of it. Just a little worse that many other Southern states. The interesting ones was the Laotian or Vietnamese transplants that started to get a Texas English accent. Now that was a challenge. We had about 30-40 at my work. They made it worse by switching between languages mid sentence and adding some Hispanic words too. You had to be real sharp to even know what in the hell they were getting at. I think the only thing worse were Cajuns when I was over to Louisiana.

Dave the car guy , still here > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 14:26

Get a rope. Its simple. I spent time on NC farms way back in the 60-70s and still think I could lasso that beast. May be in my blood since grandpa owned a dairy farm.

Roundbadge > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 15:03

A cow once got loose in the Hyde Park neighborhood in Cincinnati, and was missing for a whole 8 days (would’ve been around 2001 I think). While discussing it with a farmer, I learned that they can be as wild as deer if moved from a location they know.

DipodomysDeserti > For Sweden
02/21/2017 at 18:53

It looked to be a black cow. I’m surprised NYPD didn’t shoot it.

For Sweden > DipodomysDeserti
02/21/2017 at 18:57

Me too. It’s a black animal; that’s two reasons for Mayor DeBlasio to kill it.