Life advice. 

"Honeybunchesofgoats" (honeybunche0fgoats) 02/03/2017 at 20:44 • Filed to: None

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When you’re in an Indian restaurant in Scotland

And you’ve been in Spain for four weeks

And you’re lamenting how bland Spaniards’ idea of “spicy” is

And you see a menu item called “Naga Lamb”

And it’s described as “uniquely hot”

And you order it.

And the waiter asks if you’re sure.

And a Bangladeshi waiter comes to ask if you’re sure.

And a third Bangladeshi waiter comes to ask if you’re really sure, because he can’t eat it.

And then it comes.

And the smell burns your eyes.

And then you take a bite.

And you start crying.

And your tears are tears of burning pain.

And the waiter comes back to ask if you want something different.

You say “no.” And you suffer through the unspeakable horror and pain and indignity. Because after you finish, they’ll invite you to the bar and give you and your companion all the scotch you want on the house.

That was a month ago, but the lesson is still valid.

Chariotoflove > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/03/2017 at 20:50

0

What is the name of this restaurant? Because I really like free scotch.

TheHondaBro > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/03/2017 at 20:50

5

I went to a Thai restaurant in Oregon a couple of years ago. When I placed my order they let me choose the spiciness on a scale from 1 to 5.

Now, I have a pretty high tolerance to spicy food, so I went with 4.

But then I remembered I was in a Thai restaurant. This was a 4 by Thai standards.

Holy fuck was I burning.

DrJohannVegas > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/03/2017 at 20:51

2

Honeybunchesofgoats > Chariotoflove 02/03/2017 at 20:58

1

http://tulsistandrews.co.uk/

Tulsi. They’re awesome, they have Japanese James Bond posters on the walls.

gmctavish needs more space > TheHondaBro 02/03/2017 at 21:02

0

I don’t do well with spicy food, and the Thai place I go to doesn’t fuck around. I tried something medium once, instead of mild, and good lord was that a big jump.

PatBateman > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/03/2017 at 21:07

2

How’s your butthole?

Honeybunchesofgoats > PatBateman 02/03/2017 at 21:10

4

It was surprisingly normal. I think all of the hotness must have clawed its way out of my retinas and mouth with a rusty chainsaw shortly after I ate it.

Svend > PatBateman 02/03/2017 at 21:13

4

fhrblig > PatBateman 02/03/2017 at 21:14

1

I bet the toilet disintegrated.

Svend > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/03/2017 at 21:18

0

Ah yes. I know that routine well.

I tried warning my colleague about a particularly hot phal a restaurant did. He was used to regular tikka masala, had never tried a vindaloo and wanted to try the phal.

I told him, ‘try a tiny bit with a lot of rice at first then add more each time rather than just dive in’, needless to say he dug his fork right in and scooped it right into his mouth. Yep, I had to call the waiter over (who was pretty much already on his way after seeing my colleague gasping for air near crying, to get some cucumber yoghurt.

PatBateman > fhrblig 02/03/2017 at 21:44

0

I bet it was more like throwing a grenade into the bowl.

fhrblig > PatBateman 02/03/2017 at 21:51

1

bhtooefr > TheHondaBro 02/03/2017 at 22:01

1

And then, I decided to introduce a friend in Buffalo (who has a better spicy food tolerance than I do - and, I mean, it’s Buffalo, the freaking Buffalo wing comes from there , you’d think that they’d know what spicy food is) to Thai food.

Find a restaurant that has promising Yelp reviews, suggest that she order a 4 out of 5... the waitress is all “oh, are you sure? That’s really spicy” to her, and all. I order my food at a 4 as well.

Then, the food comes out... and, well... my local Thai place (in Ohio, mind you) does a scale out of 10, and back then, I was ordering a 7 or an 8. From that place, that’d be a 4 out of 10 , not out of 5.

Highlander-Datsuns are Forever > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/03/2017 at 22:05

0

You know shits serious when you order spicy by number. Had a similar experience at a Korean restaurant in Seattle, ordered 3 out of 5 and that was the most delicious and hottest meal I’ve ever had. Was crying and sweeting at the same time.

Blunion05 drives a pink S2000 (USER WAS BANNED FOR THIS POST) > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/03/2017 at 22:27

0

if you drink a lot of water, spiciness + butthole shouldn’t be a problem.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/04/2017 at 07:12

0

i’ll have to give it a try.

:P

Chariotoflove > Honeybunchesofgoats 02/04/2017 at 19:43

0

Road tr. . .er, plane trip!