Troll Level: Professional

"Roundbadge" (Roundbadge)
10/27/2017 at 13:20 • Filed to: PARKINGLOPNIK

As some of you may know already, I’ve been on a quest this year to park in every parking spot in my office’s parking lot. I managed to complete that quest this past Wednesday.

People might ask:

Troll Level: Professional? Think highly of yourself much?
That title isn’t about me. This is the story about how the troll got trolled.

Why?
There are some easy answers to this.

Because it’s there. This is the most obvious.

To find some joy in office-job drudgery.

People in my office have what I consider to be a strange attachment to where they park.

Regarding the last point, I get it, to some extent. This is universal. Park in the same spot, go to the same desk, do the same job. Still, I think it’s a little irrational to think of an unmarked, unreserved parking spot as ‘mine’ or ‘yours’ or ‘theirs’. Some people like routine, and that’s fine. But...in my opinion...those people need a poke every once in a while just to make life interesting.

How?
How would I go about doing this? There’s no challenge in parking in a spot, going out to my car at lunch and moving to a different spot, then claiming that I used 2 spots that day. Not to mention, a lot of people go out at lunch, and there’s no guarantee that the same space will be available when they get back. They kind of expect this, so stealing a spot at lunch is not really in the spirit of the challenge. Therefore, only the first parking spot taken in the morning counts towards the challenge.

In my office parking lot, there are 165 parking spots. This does not include handicapped parking spots, visitors’ spots, or spots reserved for VPs or other senior management. These are just freely available spots. In a year, there are approximately 260 work days. Subtract from that my 3 weeks’ vacation and sick time, figure there’s about 240 days possible for me to do this. Certainly do-able.

Seriously...why? Why intentionally irritate someone?
I don’t regularly try to be a jerk. Taking someone’s spot for one day is irritating, but not so bad that I’m going to regularly be the cause of their bad day. I just took their spot for one day. It bugged them for one morning and gave me joy...and then I moved on. The next day they either got to park where they wanted, or someone else besides me took their spot.

My progress, as of early June

Execution:

I decided only one parking spot per day would count. Lots of people leave for lunch, and that would make it too easy to just go out and move to another spot. At one spot per day, it’s still easily do-able in a year’s time.

The Process:

I began on the first work-day of the year, and just started moving down the line. Occasionally, there would be a parking spot that was already taken. On my map, it would get marked in yellow, and I’d move on until at some point that spot was available when I came in. Then I’d take it. Some spots took days to finally get to (yep...even came in early to get them some days), but eventually I got to them all.

Progress, as of early August.

The Fallout:

Some people were irritated, but not many. Most just dealt with it...at least, that I heard. I do know the two ladies from the Payroll department who threatened me (in jest) with not receiving my paycheck went to the maintenance guy and asked if he would reserve their spots for them. He laughed it off.

Not many people knew what I was doing. Of those who did, I honestly thought they’d attempt to troll me and keep me from completing my quest. In the last 30 days or so, I started randomizing my pattern to make that possibility more difficult. It worked well enough that I even forgot which spots I still needed and which I had already parked in. I eventually had to print a map out to finish.

The Trolling:

Then, with about 15 days remaining...it was announced.

“For the next two weeks, work will be conducted to expand the parking lot to accomodate more vehicles.”

Ugh.

As you can see in my MSPaint-quality diagram, somewhere in the neighborhood of 50 spots were added. With only about 9 weeks remaining in the year...there’s no way I can complete all of them, one per day.

It’s still kind of cool, in that some of the spots I parked in have since been removed so that no one can duplicate my quest exactly. Honestly, who would care to? Still, in order to complete in this calendar year...I’ll have no choice but to jump up to 2 spots per day.

In all honesty, it shouldn’t be all that difficult, as only one of these new spots is ever occupied when I come in...that being the one my boss parks in. He usually arrives sometime around 5AM, and I’m not coming in that early for anything. I’m sure there will be at least one day yet this year that he won’t come in.

So...that’s the story of how the troll got trolled.

DISCUSSION (23)

Wacko > Roundbadge
10/27/2017 at 13:23

move your car at lunch, bingo 2 spots per day!

RPM esq. > Wacko
10/27/2017 at 13:26

He only said three times that he decided at the beginning that wouldn’t count because it would be too easy...

MonkeePuzzle > Roundbadge
10/27/2017 at 13:29

A: all power to the hypno-mspaint

B: just gonna have to go out and move your car like you’re parked in 2 hour limit metred parking spots

MonkeePuzzle > RPM esq.
10/27/2017 at 13:29

THE RULES HAVE CAHNGED MAN!

THE RULES HAVE CHANGED!!!

YOU WERENT THERE MAN!!!

vondon302 > Roundbadge
10/27/2017 at 13:32

Kinja'd!!!

You can always go full jerk mode but that’s not recommended.

Kinja'd!!!

functionoverfashion > Roundbadge
10/27/2017 at 13:34

This is amazing. I have a great parking space scheme going on right now that I was going to share to oppo later. I need a picture to really do it justice, and haven’t had a chance.

Perhaps today...

WilliamsSW > Roundbadge
10/27/2017 at 13:36

Question - do you think that your trolling created the perceived need for more parking because people felt like they couldn’t get ‘their’ spot?

Or is it really needed?

Wacko > RPM esq.
10/27/2017 at 13:51

when the man changes the rules, we have to too

Roundbadge > WilliamsSW
10/27/2017 at 13:56

Actually, it was needed. That long row across the top, for the first 15 or so years I worked in this building, was only ever about half full. This summer, there were only maybe 4 of those spots empty.

I don’t really think me moving around the parking lot all year could’ve caused the need to expand. Every time I took a spot, I vacated a spot I used previously. I suppose it’s possible that people grumbled, “Someone took my spot today” and important people might have noticed...but...again...the spots I took aren’t assigned. It’s just somewhere someone likes to park.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Roundbadge
10/27/2017 at 14:03

Your work isn’t done until you park in all the reserved spots.

Roundbadge > Wacko
10/27/2017 at 14:05

It’s the only way to complete the task at hand. I have no choice.

Roundbadge > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
10/27/2017 at 14:10

I did get one. The maintenance guy reserved his own spot in the upper RH corner of the lot. I parked there one day while he was on vacation. He wouldn’t care anyway even if he wasn’t on vacation.

Some of senior management would be fine with it, would probably laugh. There are a couple others though....I’d rather not poke the bear.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Roundbadge
10/27/2017 at 14:11

Do the same thing to them then, wait until they’re away.

Roundbadge > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
10/27/2017 at 14:15

Nah. The CEO...I don’t know his schedule, and I’d rather not incur his wrath, should he pop back in for an afternoon. President of the company would be pissed until he found out who and why.

If I can’t get all the reserved spots...I don’t want to start and not finish.

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Roundbadge
10/27/2017 at 14:20

Your’e last post inspired me to do this myself. As you can see, i have a lot of spaces to hit.

Kinja'd!!!

Roundbadge > OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars
10/27/2017 at 14:23

I can’t tell you how...oddly...proud I am of this. This is such a dumb thing to feel moved by...and yet I do.

Thanks, and keep at it!

OpposResidentLexusGuy - USE20, XF20, XU30 and Press Cars > Roundbadge
10/27/2017 at 14:25

I did decide I was fine with claiming new spots after lunch though. Some people get here so early there is no hope unless they leave for lunch. Also I only leave 1-3 times a week so it helps but is not my sole way of getting new spots.

WilliamsSW > Roundbadge
10/27/2017 at 16:10

Oh, obviously you’re only taking up 1 spot every day, I just wonder if it caused a bit of whining about finding parking, leading them to add spaces. That would be pretty funny—

ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com > Roundbadge
10/27/2017 at 18:26

This is goddamned awesome! I’ve never done this with parking spaces, but I’ve done it with chairs since I was a little kid. At family gatherings, it is always my goal to sit in every seat over the course of the event. At work, I make it a point to sit every seat in a conference room over the course of an ongoing series of meetings.

Urambo Tauro > Roundbadge
10/27/2017 at 19:52

I’m ok with this. There’s no ownership over parking spots without explicit signage, so it’s really a free-for-all. Sad that some people have to be reminded of that. First come, first served.

davesaddiction @ opposite-lock.com > Roundbadge
10/28/2017 at 15:37

Hilarious. Keep going!

Roundbadge > ITA97, now with more Jag @ opposite-lock.com
10/29/2017 at 11:09

That’s freakin’ cool! I love hearing that others do this stuff too.

MM54 > Roundbadge
10/29/2017 at 15:41

I park in the same spot every day (it’s fairly out of the way, plus it keeps the RX7's massive oil leakage contained to ruining one spot of pavement) buuuuut I might have to start this in January.