The Americas

"CaptDale - is secretly British" (captdale) 10/19/2017 at 20:00 • Filed to: Jaguar, F-Type, Grand Tour

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!!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . That is a substantial amount of money no matter what part of the world you are from. The kind of money that could buy you a house, pay off your debts, or send you to the some of the best colleges available. The kind of money people hope to have left over after winning the lottery. What would you do? Invest most of it and use a little for play or would you spend it all in on big go? Buy the most expensive car you could? A whole fleet of hoopties? Maybe a nice house and some land with a big shop to house your decent fleet of mid range vehicles that would fulfill all your racing, daily, towing, and fun needs? Me, I would spend it all on one glorious vacation. One epic grand tour in one epic vehicle. A vehicle that would not only suit myself, but also not suit such an adventure, because where is the fun in making something easy?

The vehicle in question would have to be fun, fast, recently reliable, and stand out a bit where ever we show up. Then you have to think about everything you may need to pack for such an adventure. So the trunk can’t be tiny, but it doesn’t have to be huge either. And where to take such a vehicle? It would have to be a trip worthy of the grand tour name and the vehicle you are driving.

Why not hit every corner of the North American Continent? Only the continental areas. Maybe slip a little here and there, but go to the most West, North, Fast, and South bar you could drive to on the continent. What an epic adventure that would be. You could also hit those same pint for the United States on the same route and make it quite the grand tour. Now to find a vehicle to match such a trip. Loud enough to turn heads, but subtle enough to cruise through sleepy towns. Exciting enough to create a whirlwind, but understated enough to not get pestered at every fuel station. In my mind there is only one vehicle that would match such a trip, the Jaguar F-Type Coupe SVR in Ultra Blue.

The perfect vehicle with a 5.0 liter supercharged V8 producing 575 horsepower and 526 lb-ft of torque sent to all four wheels though a manually selectable single clutch automatic. With only 14.4 cubic feet of storage space, there is not much room inside, but other storage options could be figured out. The rest of the vehicle hits the marks perfectly for flamboyantness mixed with GT comfort and reliability. So far these cars have proven to be fairly reliable and with a decent dealer network throughout out North and Central America I don’t foresee anything that would be a major issue.

VHF, CB, and HAM radios will be needed

Now didn’t you say something about hitting all “corners” of America? Yes, and that is where things get really crazy and why one third of the budget is just for traveling. The trip in whole would transverse 2 continents, cross 16 countries, use around 2500 gallons of premium fuel, and cover roughly 40,700 miles.

The trip would begin after the break in period in San Luis Obispo and head for the western most spot in the US Cape Alava and then to the westernmost place you can drive to, Homer, Alaska and the !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . Then off to Yellow Knife in the Northwest Territories to visit !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . The world’s most northern brewery. After that to Lodge Bay and Happy-Valley-Goose Bay in Newfoundland and Labrador. That will take us to the Eastern Most spot in North America and !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! the furthest east bar I could find. Head south from there to West Quoddy Head the Eastern most point in the US (been there before) and on to East Cape and !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! which should be the southernmost bar in North America. After that it is off to Mexico.

Salty Dog Saloon

Mayan Temple

Once into Mexico it will be a nice mix of historical sites and as many beer and tequilas we can drink. I am a bit of a history buff (getting my degree in history) so all of the Mayan and Incan ruins will be cool to see ad we pass through Central America. (Apparently you have to ship the vehicle by boat)

NWT Brewing Co

One of the biggest issues will be passing through from Panama to Columbia which I can only assume is either not mapped my Google, only dirt roads, or some secret drug tunnels you have to pass through.

Ushuaia

After we reach South America the trip may vary trying to see as many countries as we can without getting in trouble etc. And down to Ushuaia which will be nice because I am not British (got to keep up that cover story). If time and money permits a trip to Antarctica and the World’s southernmost bar at the Ukrainian Research station Vernadsky called !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . Fun fact, the station was originally a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! outpost, but was sold to Ukraine for £1 due to the cost removing the station would have been. They make their own Vodka there from a nearby glacier. While it comes out brown, it is supposed to be some of the smoothest and best tasting vodka in the world. It costs $3 a glass or the bra you are wearing. Yes that is actual currency there.

Then it is back up to the good old US of A seeing new and exciting place on the way back up.

Jalisco, Mexico

Southernmost House Hotel in Key West

The whole trip we would try and see all the Cars & Coffees, Opponauts, and other car related shenanigans that would could. I surmise the trip will take at least 3 months, but probably make it last 6 depending on staying places for more than one night and not straight driving the estimated 31 days’ worth of driving.

Now you must be wondering how I budgeted out $200,000.Well we will start with the obvious the Jag

2018 Jaguar F-Type SVR = $140,000

Fuel (US average=$3/gallon @2540 gallons) = $7,620

Services ( Dealer pricing: oil change $300 @ 5k miles, 30k $650) plus $100 extra = $3,150

Just in Case (vehicle service) = $5,000

Hospitality (camping + hotels) = $10,000

Food & Drink = $7,000

Planned Spending (stuff) = $3,000

12 Months Insurance = $7,000

Set Up (supplies, new camera gear) = $10,000

All of this would result in $194,000 so I figure a buffer of $200,000 at the very least would work. This is something I would very much like to accomplish. The hardest acquisition would be the Jaguar, since it is the biggest expense. Now I could and should do like my new friends are doing driving their TVR and Dodge Challenger down to Ushuaia. Their !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! drive has sponsors and they are raising money for !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . A charity which supports people with mental health problems. Problems like depression, which are far more common than most people realize, and almost certainly affects someone you know. The sponsors could be decent to get and setting up a web page for it all wouldn’t be too difficult, but then we are back to the car. A purchase that would break most peoples’ bank. Even if by some miracle Jaguar was to give us a press car, I know after a journey like this I would want to keep it. All the bumper stickers, scrapes, miles, and memories would be too painful to have to hand the keys back over.

But just imagine, you and your best friend as a copilot traversing the whole of the Americas in a car designed to hit 200 miles per hour and bought by people who will store them in their garage for the monthly Cars & Coffee. A car most people wouldn’t even take shopping ladened down with all the supplies and gear you would need for such an adventure. I lust after doing this trip. I think about it and it is all I want to do. The experience alone would be worth it, but so would making the statement to go out and drive your damn cars. If only they made the SVR with a manual ;)

Repost: Evening Crew

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 11:03

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Damn cheap housing other places. $200K couldn’t buy a single thing in Metro Vancouver, doesn’t matter if it’s US or Canadian money.

facw > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 11:09

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There are no roads (dirt or otherwise) between Panama and Columbia, just dense impassible jungle. You need to take a ship to get between the two.

Hammerdown > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 11:13

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There are no roads to get you from Panama to Columbia (There’s a canal in the way). Lots of motorcyclists ride from Alaska to Teirra Del Fuego. To get into South America the bikes go on a boat or in a plane.

The Alaskan highway is notoriously hard on vehicles. Much of it is gravel with huge potholes. I can only assume lots of South America is the same way. A low slung sports car might have some troubles with that...

CaptDale - is secretly British > facw 10/19/2017 at 11:13

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Yes, that is what I stated after finding that out lol.

CaptDale - is secretly British > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 10/19/2017 at 11:14

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Yeah I mean you can buy an old farm house in Oklahoma for $20k, but yes the money would only go so far.

CaptDale - is secretly British > Hammerdown 10/19/2017 at 11:18

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Yes I know, the article states that.

I am sure it wouldn’t be easy on the car. That is half the fun anyway. As I said I have friends doing the trip in a TVR

That is Honduras

functionoverfashion > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 11:29

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You could kill a few hours reading this if you haven’t already:

DR Congo: Lubumbashi to Kinshasa

Although it won’t make you want to do the trip any less...

benjrblant > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 11:29

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I’ve read a few books and seen a few shows on Americans and Canadians overlanding to S.America. It seems that brokering a container to transport a vehicle from Panama to Colombia is a miserable and painful drawn-out process.

Granted, most of these people were traveling rural backroads, but it seems that finding clean gasoline with a proper octane rating isn’t always easy. Budget for a few extra fuel filters or injector replacements on your voyage!

Traveling in a flashy car with American plates might also make you more of a target. Just a consideration.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 11:33

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The kind of money that could buy you a house

HA

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 11:34

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A Jaguar? Really? I mean, it’s great if where you want to go is paved, but outside of that....

I’d go with a 3/4 ton (or even a 1 ton) 4WD diesel pickup. Add an auxiliary fuel tank and bed camper, and you should be good to go.

Only thing you have to be mindful of is being able to put the whole thing into a twenty foot or forty foot container, so it can be shipped to South America.

CaptDale - is secretly British > KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs 10/19/2017 at 11:38

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It would be fine on dirt. Plus where is the adventure making it easy?

CaptDale - is secretly British > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 10/19/2017 at 11:39

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I didn’t say you would be living in the city, but you can buy a farm house in Oklahoma for $20k

CaptDale - is secretly British > benjrblant 10/19/2017 at 11:41

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Yeah, shouldn’t be easy, but will be fun.

I wouldn’t worry too much about me or the car. That is what traveller’s insurance is for and honestly what a way to go out.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever 10/19/2017 at 11:41

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Just looked some up. This is what $200k (CAD) looks like in terms of SFD’s in Toronto:

...

...

...

Literally nothing. Only bargain-basement condos in (mostly) shitty areas.

CaptDale - is secretly British > functionoverfashion 10/19/2017 at 11:41

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Awesome! I was going to start a new book, but I will read this first! Thank you

benjrblant > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 11:48

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It gets a tad dicey in other countries. Some accept American insurance, some require traveler’s insurance, and some require you to purchase your own at the border. As Americans, I’ve come to realize we’re extremely spoiled when it comes to driving, roads, and anything automotive.

If you’re interested in living vicariously through others while you accrue that $200k, Drive Nacho Drive is a pretty good book about a couple driving from Arizona to Patagonia in, of all poor choices, a VW Bus. They end up smuggling a transaxle from the US into South America as a checked bag, it’s quite entertaining. It’s mostly focused on the experience and not as automotive-related as I was hoping for at times but still a good read. I’d lend you my copy but I don’t think I got it back from the last friend that borrowed it.

http://desktoglory.com/ is another couple that traveled from Canada to Patagonia in a Hilux. They don’t have a book but post to instagram and update their blog semi regularly.

CarsofFortLangley - Oppo Forever > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 10/19/2017 at 11:49

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Yeah, you know what I’m talking about. Both our cities are in the same shitty situation.

KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 11:50

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The Alaska Highway is mostly gravel. Since that is the case, you will want to budget for a few windscreen replacements.

CaptDale - is secretly British > KusabiSensei - Captain of the Toronto Maple Leafs 10/19/2017 at 11:54

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That is a good idea. Especially with all the trucks on it... I wonder if those peel off able window things on race cars would help protect from that.  

S65 > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 11:56

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Also stop in D.C. to do sick burnouts on the national mall

Wacko > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 11:59

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your north american route passes through my home town on the transcanadian highway on that section between quebec and ontario.

you must factor in a Poutine budget, and add extra weight of all that poutine you just ate.

you can even stop here and have my favorite Chicken bacon poutine.

CaptDale - is secretly British > benjrblant 10/19/2017 at 12:01

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Yeah Iremember as a kid buying insurance at the Mexican border.

God, I can’t believe they would use a VW Bus... That is crazy. Yeah I can’t stand people that don’t return books.

Thanks for sharing all these peoples’ adventures.

CaptDale - is secretly British > Wacko 10/19/2017 at 12:06

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Sounds great to me. I would stop and see every Oppo I could!

CaptDale - is secretly British > S65 10/19/2017 at 12:07

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I am trying to avoid getting arrested

functionoverfashion > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 12:51

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It was shared via Jalopnik a few years ago, and then recently I found it again, and actually read through all the pages. I think the real content is done by about page 53? After that, the OP kind of loses interest in answering all the inane questions people are asking. “Why didn’t you have a winch, bro?” I mean, at the point where they’re in DR Congo, they’ve already driven from Europe to South Africa, then from the Far East all the way across Asia, down into Africa and back to where they are now (in this story). I think they’ve got this figured out.

The story is incredible, I started reading one night and found myself staying up late several nights just trying to get through it all.

Oh, and thankfully, their photos weren’t hosted on photobucket!!!

CaptDale - is secretly British > functionoverfashion 10/19/2017 at 13:06

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Thank god!! All of the forum posts are just ruined from that

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 14:08

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One of the biggest issues will be passing through from Panama to Columbia which I can only assume is either not mapped my Google, only dirt roads, or some secret drug tunnels you have to pass through.

You have discovered the Darien Gap. There is a massive impassable rain forest, river delta and swamp between Panama and Columbia. The Gap has been crossed before, but I don’t know if it has been crossed by anything larger than an ATV.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dari%C3%A9n_Gap

CaptDale - is secretly British > You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much 10/19/2017 at 14:10

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Yeah cars have to be ferried to the other side.

AuthiCooper1300 > You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much 10/19/2017 at 17:28

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Indeed it has been crossed by some Corvairs (it was a publicity stunt, yes, but they did it, with the help of a few trucks; one had to stay there though) and some first-gen Range Rovers (with the help of a few Land Rovers).

There have been others (a couple in a jeep or something like that?), but that’s as much as I can remember right now.

(By the way - Col o mbia, not *Col u mbia. Please.)

Saracen > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 20:22

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Being a homeowner in San Diego, $200k gets invested into a variety of high-cap dividend stocks, with the dividend income going into my mortgage principle. That will shorten my mortgage by about 11 years.

If I were to follow your lead though, No Jag for me. My $140k would go into a Panamera Sport Turismo 4S.

CaptDale - is secretly British > Saracen 10/19/2017 at 20:26

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1. That is a terribly high mortgage.

2. That is actually a decent vehicle choice for this trip, though I think I would try and just get a used Turbo (no idea what those run, just assuming). Lots of space, subtle, but still fun, and should not be terrible to get serviced. I like how you think. Definitely more practical, but I don’t know. I have never wanted one like I do the Jag.

Nibbles > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 20:30

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Reality: 200k wouldn’t buy my 1200 sq ft ranch in this shithole suburb

Fantasy: it would be a good number of down payments though

Best case: I’d use that 200k to pay off a good portion of debt, ease the burden off my salary.

C62030 > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 20:31

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*a-HEM*

CaptDale - is secretly British > C62030 10/19/2017 at 20:32

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Sorry I think you meant

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 20:34

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With 200k, I would pay off my car, buy a cheapish 3/4 diesel, buy a little land, and build a shop with an apartment, then I’d stock it with tools. I’d also buy a boat. Being in a rural area, all of that could be done within $150k. The other $50k would be invested. And with my lack of debt, I would then spend my income on a vacation.

BaconSandwich is tasty. > functionoverfashion 10/19/2017 at 20:49

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I passed this on to my parents. They lived in the DRC for a year and a half, and really related to a lot of the things that happened.

Saracen > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 20:54

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My house isn’t even expensive for this city.

Used Panameras are really good to drive. The new ones are just so much better looking inside and out. And because wagon.

Chariotoflove > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 21:00

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I’m in. You rob the bank, I’ll get the car.

Liam Farrell > AuthiCooper1300 10/19/2017 at 21:19

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As far as I know it took the Land Rovers like 2 months to pass through the gap. Some days they only made like 100 feet of progress.

just-a-scratch > CaptDale - is secretly British 10/19/2017 at 21:32

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If you’re going to Yellowknife, go to Bullocks Bistro. Have steak and fish. It’s great.

Dark chocolate > C62030 10/19/2017 at 22:49

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Exactly my thoughts . You’d be tired of road noise, engine note within a day or two. I daily driver a GTO and a C63 and my favorite is my 7 series.

For a fastcar for a GT trip, nothing beats a s coupe or a CL

ptak appreciates old racecars > C62030 10/20/2017 at 01:20

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it has to actually get there tho

C62030 > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/20/2017 at 01:40

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You’re right, starting with a Jag set the bar pretty high

AuthiCooper1300 > Liam Farrell 10/20/2017 at 04:19

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Sure – I did not mean it was a easy, or fast. The Range Rovers kept breaking their differentials, mostly because they were carrying too much stuff. If I remember correctly at some stage they even had to fly in spares from Britain via Belize.

Needless to say, the Corvairs took even longer.

functionoverfashion > BaconSandwich is tasty. 10/20/2017 at 10:31

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Wow, that’s fascinating! What were they there for?

CaptDale - is secretly British > just-a-scratch 10/20/2017 at 11:10

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10/10 will do. Plus probably stay a couple days there. Always wanted to go up there.

CaptDale - is secretly British > Chariotoflove 10/20/2017 at 11:11

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Deal

BaconSandwich is tasty. > functionoverfashion 10/20/2017 at 19:46

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A mission for our church. Some of the stuff that they experienced:
- Police constantly asking for bribes (monetary or otherwise)
- Having someone break into their compound and steal gas by disconnecting the gas line on their truck (a Toyota Hilux)
- Hearing gunshots at night
- Visiting some garden plots way out in the country
- Teaching English and piano lessons (and discovering that the local English teachers didn’t really speak English)

My mom kept a blog of it all: https://lubumbashibennetts.wordpress.com/ I keep meaning to copy it all down and get it put into book form for them.

rillweid - Now with more TRD and less TDI > You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much 10/24/2017 at 10:54

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Expidition Overland did it a few years ago in Toyotas, and they were the first to do it in decades.