"mow your whole yard"

"OPPOsaurus WRX" (opposaurus) 10/09/2017 at 08:45 • Filed to: None

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I’ll mow it. I’ll CUT IT ALL DOWN

My wife told a couple neighbors, and the next thing you know, half the neighborhood knows. A retired airplane mechanic offered to help with the ride-on, and the old lady across the street apologized for whoever had the nerve to write that letter. I told her about the messed up floor issue and the windows and she said she doen’t blame me for not having time, especially when you factor in the three OPPOsaurus offsprings. My wife decided a lot of the gardens needed to go. They look pretty in the picture, but they are savagely overgrown. We are not hiring landscapers and do not have the time to weed all the gardens, and it will give the kids and the driveway more room. I did get my push mower running and got 2/3's of the grass mowed before it started pouring out. So almost all of it.

I have two theories of who it was. Either the people directly to the right of us, or the previous owner. apparently she has been driving by.

pip bip - choose Corrour > OPPOsaurus WRX 10/09/2017 at 08:49

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do it Italian style.

concrete it.

Chuckles > OPPOsaurus WRX 10/09/2017 at 08:55

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I’ve only had a lawn for about 10 months, and I’m already convinced that lawn maintenance is pointless B.S. It’s such a waste of time and energy to be out there cutting it every single week.

crowmolly > pip bip - choose Corrour 10/09/2017 at 08:56

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hedbutter > Chuckles 10/09/2017 at 08:57

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If only these werent such a pain. Most of the time i dont mind it, but sometimes it may take me a week or 3 to get the weather and the 2 hours it takes me to pushmow/trim mine.

pip bip - choose Corrour > crowmolly 10/09/2017 at 09:04

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:)

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > pip bip - choose Corrour 10/09/2017 at 09:07

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Mexicans also like to do this. Or tile. I have the deepest respect for their practicality.

Azrek > OPPOsaurus WRX 10/09/2017 at 09:12

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My friend instructed me never to get into an HOA situation as I’d escalate the passive aggressive war to unheard of levels really fast. I can’t stand stuff like that. Leave me alone...or you will wish you had.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 10/09/2017 at 09:12

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wasn’t aware Mexicans did it, here in australia it’s generally what the older Italians do.

haveacarortwoorthree2 > crowmolly 10/09/2017 at 09:14

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Someone down the street from us has these! Or at least their cousins.

Chuckles > hedbutter 10/09/2017 at 09:14

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My front yard is a pretty steep hill, so I doubt that one of those would work for me. I’ve got a push mower and it takes about an hour for the front and an hour for the back. You’re spot on about having the weather and your schedule align properly. Sometimes it goes 3 weeks between cuts because I’ve got better things to do with my life.

I’ll never understand people who really get into lawn maintenance. That’s like being really into vacuuming.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Azrek 10/09/2017 at 09:15

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HAHA I would too. This, believe it or not, is just regular life, no HOA. If it was HOA, in a few years, I’d be the guy trying to DD a tank so I could park that monster infront of my house.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Chuckles 10/09/2017 at 09:16

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Yea it sucks when I let the grass go for a couple weeks, then it rains, then it holds the moisture so it will clog up the mower then it goes a couple more days, then its a nightmare. I’m (rightfully) afraid of ticks as well.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Chuckles 10/09/2017 at 09:29

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I have an 8,000 sq ft yard. I am stunned 3 years later how much work it takes to not make it look like total shit.

Chuckles > OPPOsaurus WRX 10/09/2017 at 09:30

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I occasionally have to cut it twice when it gets bad. Once on the highest possible setting and then again at a shorter height. And I’m with you on the rain. It’s no good trying to mow a wet lawn.

My lawn is also overrun by a plant called Yellow Sedge. It’s vaguely related to an almond plant, and it looks like bright green grass except it grows twice as fast and the stems are thicker and a little woody. 5 days after I cut my lawn, they’re back to being 10 inches tall and within 10 days they go to seed. It’s miserable. Luckily I only rent my house, so I just have to cut it, not actually deal with it.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > OPPOsaurus WRX 10/09/2017 at 09:32

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“Mow”? Not “burn”?

Urambo Tauro > OPPOsaurus WRX 10/09/2017 at 09:37

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Solution: plant a garden. A rock garden.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > pip bip - choose Corrour 10/09/2017 at 09:58

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Mexico and Italy have very similar climates. I wouldn’t be surprised if it was from the heavy Latin influence. People from most Caribbean islands also do it.

Lawns are a waste of time and resources, therefore I seriously dislike them. I’m worried about my HOA, but I have long threatened that if we buy a house, I’ll kill the lawn and keep the pH so low that grass and other garbage won’t even grow.

Chuckles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/09/2017 at 09:59

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I’m looking to but a house next year and I’m already trying to sell my better half on the idea of paving over the entire future yard for parking.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/09/2017 at 10:08

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In our modern world, lawns are a total relic of an era when you worked 37.5 hours a week at a low-stress job, then your commute home took 10-15 minutes. That is, people had copious amounts of free time in the past that we simply don’t have now. 1+ hour commutes each way, every day, result in no time for yard maintenance.

Everyone I know with a nice yard is retired and/or spends a lot of money outsourcing the work.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Chuckles 10/09/2017 at 10:12

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They don’t seem to want to go for what we want... I didn’t want an SFH and we ended up with an SFH. I didn’t want a lawn and we ended up with a lawn. I hate outdoor maintenance, especially of the stupid lawn mowing/maintaining variety.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Chuckles 10/09/2017 at 10:12

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I barked up that tree, but my wife likes some lawn for my dog to destroy, err, I mean to run around on. No wait, I definitely meant destroy.

Chuckles > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 10/09/2017 at 10:16

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I have no doubt that we’ll end up with whatever she wants. The only thing I’m standing firm on is a garage. The house we’re renting has a cavernous garage (a wide one car garage that was extended to be about 2.5 cars deep), and I’m spoiled for life now.

Chuckles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 10/09/2017 at 10:18

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Considering that we adopted a small dog who occasionally gets lost in the tall grass, I know it’s just wishful thinking.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Chuckles 10/09/2017 at 10:20

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A garage was a non-negotiable for me as well. I’ve had a garage at every place I’ve lived since leaving home and I refuse to live anywhere without a place for my car. The only other thing was that we either needed an office or a spare bedroom where I could put my computer and work on my R/C cars.

I had a lot of other strong preferences, but you ultimately have to make her happy, apparently. She probably won’t be happy when I make her mow the lawn because I’m extremely allergic to grass.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > OPPOsaurus WRX 10/09/2017 at 10:31

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I have a plan to flush them out, take all the suspects and write them a letter. Include accusations that are different for each suspect and when they reply they might expose their identity. Make sure to preface the letter with “You got this not because it’s directed at you, but the coward who wrote the letter won’t come forward so I’m writing to everyone in the neighborhood.”

When you know the identity, walk into their house and piss on their kitchen floor; establish dominance.*

*don’t do this, I’ve been told I’m not allowed to be around “normal” people. Whatever that means...

Chuckles > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 10/09/2017 at 10:39

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I’ve got plenty of strong preferences too, but you’re right about making her happy. The garage is the one where I’ll stand my ground.

OPPOsaurus WRX > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 10/09/2017 at 10:40

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You certainly should not be encouraging me with this stuff. My wife already had to talk me back from waging war on the neighborhood.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > OPPOsaurus WRX 10/09/2017 at 11:07

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Far be it from me to encourage a righteous war on passive aggressive douchebags.  

gogmorgo - rowing gears in a Grand Cherokee > OPPOsaurus WRX 10/09/2017 at 12:58

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I came up with a super lazy mowing solution this weekend:

I went outside and closed the front gate. Unfortunately the mulies were cleverer than that and when they wanted to take off they just hopped over it.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > OPPOsaurus WRX 10/09/2017 at 13:24

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In an HOA here, VP actually, and dealing with a shit storm all day because we are having professionals take care of our money - how DARE the board make a decision that makes everyone safer, allows online payments (finally), and fits in the budget?!

So anyhow, I specifically am on the board to keep idiots like the one who left you that note off it. And to keep us as a zero rules HOA. All things default back to the city ordinances. We’re basically just an organization so we can plow our roads, mow our common areas and have a party once a year.

TheRealBicycleBuck > OPPOsaurus WRX 10/09/2017 at 14:11

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I think I’d keep the big beds, but replace the plantings with ground cover. That will be low maintenance and look good at the same time.

merged-5876237249235911857-hrw8uc > Chuckles 10/09/2017 at 23:01

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We got a service to cut ours after being out of town for a few years for work. It’s the best $80 we spend each month. They cut it in 5-10 mins where I’d be out there for an hour from start to finish. Sure it may not be as perfect as I do, but screw it, it’s cut and it’s green. And I don’t have to worry about it. So nice. Especially now with the three boys. I do miss cutting the lawn sometimes, but not nearly enough to cancel the service.

gmporschenut also a fan of hondas > OPPOsaurus WRX 10/09/2017 at 23:40

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Set up survey stakes and say construction starts next week. Freak them the fuck out.

OPPOsaurus WRX > gmporschenut also a fan of hondas 10/10/2017 at 07:50

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my neighbor had the yard surveyed when we moved in. They wanted to make sure we knew where the property lines were.