Help me write an article for my local SCCA newsletter

"WRXforScience" (WRXforScience) 10/07/2017 at 14:58 • Filed to: teen drivers, Safety

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Below is an article I’m working on for my SCCA region’s quarterly newsletter, I’m the chair for our Tire Rack Street Survival program and have been asked to submit an article about it. I’d like some help. I haven’t written anything serious since high school and I’m a big supporter of the program, so I want to make a good impression. Constructive feedback is welcome (if you just rowed up in your douche-canoe to throw shade, keep paddling).

I am not Batman and no one organizes charity 5k’s for traffic deaths, but the top killer of 15-22 year olds are traffic deaths. Nearly twice as many teenagers die each year from car crashes than are killed by criminals and all disease combined. However, there is hope, there is something we can do, and there are heroes who can help save our children from themselves: we have met our heroes and they are us.

On October 21, the Texas Region SCCA will be hosting our 5th Tire Rack Street Survival at Dragon Stadium in Southlake, TX. You can volunteer to help by contacting redacted and you can register a student at !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! . Our goal is to host up to 3 schools a year and help make our teens safer on the road. The program is offered through the SCCA Foundation and is a 501c3 charitable non-profit, we charge $75 per student to cover the costs of the event but all the coaches are unpaid volunteers. Lunch and water are provided for everyone, instructors get breakfast and a polo shirt too.

Students drive their own vehicles, and we even help them to perform the safety inspection alongside our instructors. The first thing we teach the students is how to check their tire pressures, oil levels, and fluids. After registration and inspection, the students all gather for a short introduction to the program and what they day will look like for them, and then the fun starts.

We split all the students into two groups, one group stays where they are for the classroom portion of the class where we go over all the reasons why we are doing each of the driving exercise as well as a number of techniques and practice that will make them better drivers. Weight transfer, where to look, and proper driving positions are among the topics we cover, but most of the learning takes place in the vehicles and on the course.

The most beneficial and fun part of the school is the driving. During the morning sessions the students learn a variety of skills at five different stations: the slalom, the skid pad, the figure eight, an emergency lane change, and an ABS braking exercise. Each exercise is designed to demonstrate the real world benefits and applications of the skills and techniques discussed in the classroom session.

Students learn how to initiate, control, and recover from over-steer and/or under-steer on the skid pad, the benefits of looking ahead and keeping their eyes on the horizon while navigating the slalom, how to fully utilize ABS in an emergency situation, the importance of weight transfer and proper inputs at the figure eight, and the dangers of overcorrecting when making an emergency lane change.

After lunch, we talk about what we learned in the morning sessions before we split the students back into their groups. During the lunch break the instructors and volunteers combine the stations into a circuit, reminiscent of an autocross course. No longer are the techniques practiced in isolation as discreet skills, this final driving session is all about adapting to obstacles and situations on the fly and polishing the car control techniques from the morning. At the end of the day we even encourage the parents to jump in the cars with the students and go for a ride, nearly every parent is surprised and impressed by their child’s newfound skills and confidence behind the wheel.

DutchieDC2R > WRXforScience 10/07/2017 at 15:21

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Ive gone ahead and took the liberty of changing up your first paragraph:

I am not Batman and no one organizes charity 5k’s for traffic deaths, but the top killer of 15-22 year olds are traffic deaths. Nearly twice as many teenagers die each year from car crashes than are killed by criminals and all disease combined. However, there is hope, there is something we can do, and there are heroes who can help save our children from themselves: we have met our heroes and they are us.

Mine:

I do not consider myself some all-mighty hero by any measure, but current facts and figures on traffic deaths call for action. We need to do something. The cold, hard truth is that deaths among 15-22 year olds are dominated by traffic incidents. Nearly twice as many teenagers die each year from car crashes compared to death by disease and/or criminal offence combined. Our kids may not scream for help, but these figures are a scream for help in itself. If we don’t do something right now, we will only dig the hole we are in deeper and deeper. The kids need us, not tomorrow, not next week, not next month, the kids need us now.

__________________________________

No offense or anything, but when I read your first paragraph, something sounded a bit off (cant really pinpoint it, maybe its the double ‘traffic deaths’ in the first sentence.). Again, no offense meant, just trying to help.

WRXforScience > DutchieDC2R 10/07/2017 at 15:30

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Great point (I’m not offended at all, this is exactly what I was looking for).

I like it, I think I was a little to pre-occupied trying to avoid “accidents” and became a little redundant.

DutchieDC2R > WRXforScience 10/07/2017 at 15:34

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I havent done proper writing in a long while, but if I can help in any way, I’d love to.

Little Black Coupe Turned Silver > WRXforScience 10/07/2017 at 16:37

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It’s not bad, but needs a solid copy edit; I used part of the updated first paragraph from the other comment since you liked it.

The current facts and figures on traffic deaths are a call to action. The cold hard truth is that deaths among 15-22 year olds are dominated by traffic incidents. Nearly twice as many teenagers die each year from car crashes compared to death by disease and criminal offense combined. These figures are a scream for help; something needs to be done. Our children need us to help them become better drivers. The SCCA is in a position to help that become a reality. Our goal is to host up to three schools a year and help make our teens safer on the road.

On October 21, the Texas Region SCCA will be hosting our 5th Tire Rack Street Survival at Dragon Stadium in Southlake, TX. Visit http://streetsurvival.org to register a student for $75; you can volunteer to help by contacting redacted. The program is offered through the SCCA Foundation and is a 501(c)(3) charitable non-profit. The $75 student fee covers the cost of the event, lunch and water. The volunteer instructors will receive breakfast, lunch, water and a polo shirt.

Students will drive their own vehicles, after they perform a safety inspection with help from our instructors. This includes how to check tire pressures, oil levels, and other fluids. After registration and tech inspection, the students will gather for a short introduction to the program and what they day will look like; then the fun starts. Students will be split into groups for classroom and driving time.

The classroom portion discusses each of the driving exercises in detail, along with techniques and practices that will make them better drivers. These include weight transfer, where to look, and proper driving position.

During the morning driving session the students learn a variety of skills at five different stations: slalom, skid pad, figure eight, emergency lane changes, and an ABS braking exercise. Each station is designed to demonstrate the real world benefits and applications of the skills and techniques discussed in the classroom session. Students learn how to initiate, control, and recover from oversteer and understeer on the skid pad. The slalom teaches the benefits of looking ahead and keeping their eyes on the horizon while navigating. The figure eight teaches how to fully utilize ABS in an emergency situation and the importance of weight transfer and proper inputs. The dangers of overcorrecting are taught when making an emergency lane change.

During the lunch break the instructors and volunteers combine the stations into a circuit, reminiscent of an autocross course. After lunch there is a download meeting of what was learned in the morning sessions. Then it’s time to get back in the car. No longer are the techniques practiced in isolation as discreet skills, this final driving session is all about adapting to obstacles and situations on the fly and polishing the car control techniques from the morning. At the end of the day we even encourage the parents to jump in the cars with the students and go for a ride, nearly every parent is surprised and impressed by their child’s new skills and confidence behind the wheel.