Spaghetti isn't food

"ptak appreciates old racecars" (racecarptak) 10/06/2017 at 05:20 • Filed to: some people like to eat string but i don't because i didn't huff glue in preschool

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Shells are the best pasta shape, no argument. I’d say spaghetti is the worst but that implies associating it with noodles. It does not deserve a spot in that magnificent food category. I would not feed that doughy tapeworm garbage to my worst enemies.

pictured: righteous noodles, not disappointment coils

Stop typing. I see you typing. If you’re here to defend spaghetti, go do it somewhere else. If you feed me spaghetti, it’s safe to assume you hate me and don’t have the guts to say it to my face. It’s hard to eat. You have to either cut it all up at once and look like an asshole or wind it around your spoon, which has about as much sense as eating pho with chopsticks or those janky stubby inch-thick spoons they give you. Once inside your mouth, it’s intensely unsatisfying. Shells are chewy and delightful and offer a lovely little cradle for the other ingredients to nestle in. Spaghetti can’t step to that. Because spaghetti sucks.

barnie > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 05:38

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I agree with you about spaghetti. Isn’t served in my home. But, I use Rotini curls (the 3-color kind) instead of shells. So much surface area for sauce and I can eat them with a fork. Gonna try shells next box. I’m thinking I can eat them with a spoon and get even more sauce. Thanks for the suggestion.

Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 05:40

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Makes me wonder: what are your thoughts on ramen?

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 05:51

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Hard disagree on shells. They’re the only pasta shape I know that fit inside each other so you sometimes get an undercooked hard ass piece of pasta mixed in with the rest of it. Rigatoni or death.

Svend > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 05:51

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I can sort of see your point.

But you could also say that of linguine or tagliatelle.

Every pasta shape and style has a purpose.

I do tend to cut up my spaghetti and use a spoon to be honest.

But spaghetti is good.

How about trofie liguri?

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 05:55

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While shells are superior, spaghetti is not deserving of your ire as it is a perfectly acceptable foodstuff. In fact, for spaghetti carbonara it’s superior to other pastas.

Sod the spoon, just stick a fork into a bundle and twirl. Dead simple, and develops motor skills that are useful for screwdriving ;)

bhtooefr > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 05:59

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The thing with eating pho with chopsticks is, IIRC, slurping is actually recommended for that one. And, the spoon can also help as a platform to support the noodles.

Stapleface > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 06:28

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I’ve always been a spaghetti fan, so I don’t entirely see your viewpoints. Although I think I prefer angel hair to traditional spaghetti.

As for shells, they are a superior vessel for dishes like mac and cheese where the cheesy goodness can get stuck in the little folds of the shell.

Blind Willie Tyresmoke Namington IV > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 06:29

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I dare you to try “pici toscani”. So fantastic yet so impractical. They’re the alfa romeo of pasta basically. They should give you a medal if you can eat them without ruining your shirt

Blind Willie Tyresmoke Namington IV > Svend 10/06/2017 at 06:30

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Trofie are great. Although, those look suspiciously straight

Svend > Blind Willie Tyresmoke Namington IV 10/06/2017 at 06:39

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There is a subtle twist but the pasta is very thin and an inch and a half long.

barnie > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 10/06/2017 at 06:47

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For me, crush the packet of noodles before opening, use 1/4 of the spice packet, add dehydrated garlic and onion and pour on a good bit of sesame oil. I add too much hot water so there is liquid left (Hot here so we’re always hydrating). And, I slurp the noodles to get all the flavours. Makes a good snack but not enough for a meal.

Rainbow > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 06:51

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Okay but you’re wrong. Rigatoni is the best pasta.

And sketties are yummy too.

Tekamul > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 07:01

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Spoon? I’m going to leave that alone for now.

Each shape has it’s own purpose, but fusilli is the master pasta. The real kind, not the mis-named spirals, but the hollow tube corkscrew pasta. Best mouth feel of all pastas.

nafsucof > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 07:22

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My restaurants linguini with clam sauce. I bet you don’t like linguini either...shells are for kids and Mac and cheese.

Good thing we have options! Variety is the spice of life!

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 08:29

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Make this claim in Sicily and you’d be turned into a pin cushion.

Party-vi > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 08:52

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You see that? over 15 comments and not one star. It’s because you are a bad person and your opinion belongs in a garbage can. Your shells are terrible, having be relegated to merely holding the better part of the meal, instead of actively engaging with it like spaghetti. Eating a meal with conchigliette is like going to a restaurant for soup, but eating the bowl at the same time because you don’t know any better.

Shame on you. Shame on conchigliette.

Thomas Donohue > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 08:55

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Real food isn’t eaten with a spoon unless you are under the age of eight.

Angel hair > any other shape.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 09:12

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NO NO NO. Spaghetti is my favorite food. The end.

Yowen - not necessarily not spaghetti and meatballs > BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires 10/06/2017 at 09:14

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Neither is superior. This is pasta racism lol. Each has their purpose. Or sometimes for me it’s down to craving. What shape do I wanna eat?!?

Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. > Thomas Donohue 10/06/2017 at 09:40

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Stew is the realest food, I will fight you.

Urambo Tauro > BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires 10/06/2017 at 09:45

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Sod the spoon, just stick a fork into a bundle and twirl. Dead simple, and develops motor skills that are useful for screwdriving ;)

Came here to say this. I mean yeah, it’s a little awkward spinning up a fork, not knowing how many noodles it’s going to gather up, but... a spoon? Who eats spaghetti with a spoon?

crowmolly > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 09:49

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Shells are great. You can eat them with a spoon and then you don’t get cheese on your sippy cup.

Rotini for life.

user314 > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 10:33

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Your argument is bad and you should feel bad. To whit:

Skyline Chili, 5-Way

Mini Guy- Now has a 4Runner > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 11:06

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Wrong

Thomas Donohue > Sir_Stig: and toxic masculinity ruins the party again. 10/06/2017 at 11:14

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Real stew can be eaten with a fork. Ditto for chili.

(I don’t really eat stew, so I’m not gonna fight about it)

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > Urambo Tauro 10/06/2017 at 15:15

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Who eats spaghetti with a spoon? Masochists. That’s who.

Or people who had sadist parents...

wafflesnfalafel > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/06/2017 at 23:26

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You have the courage to say what so many others have been thinking for years. I like pasta, but not spaghetti. I invariably end up flinging sauce all over myself. Give me Fusilli, Penne, Rotelle or even a good Linguine instead.

ptak appreciates old racecars > Party-vi 10/07/2017 at 00:37

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“conchigliette”

I may be an opinionated hempseed, but give me one reason why spaghetti is better than shells. One reason.

ptak appreciates old racecars > Thomas Donohue 10/07/2017 at 00:38

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I was referring more to the practice of twirling it in the base of the spoon using a fork. As heathens do

ptak appreciates old racecars > Rustholes-Are-Weight-Reduction 10/07/2017 at 00:40

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Delicious, if you squish the life out of the packet before dumping them in the bowl.

ptak appreciates old racecars > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 10/07/2017 at 00:41

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Rigatoni are respectable. Undercooked shells doesn’t really happen to me but I do hate it when they nestle inside each other during boiling and you get gross pasta water discharge upon consumption

ptak appreciates old racecars > barnie 10/07/2017 at 00:42

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Yes!!! Shells are best!
The ones you listed are good too.

ptak appreciates old racecars > bhtooefr 10/07/2017 at 00:44

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Yeah, it’s hard to adjust to the traditional Asian way of consuming food. Kinda rewarding when one gets it right though.

ptak appreciates old racecars > crowmolly 10/07/2017 at 00:44

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what is with the rotini love in this thread
where is the shell love

ptak appreciates old racecars > wafflesnfalafel 10/07/2017 at 00:46

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THANK you.

Great username, by the way. Best breakfast food, best Middle Eastern food.

ThePlasticOne - no diggities expressed nor implied. > ptak appreciates old racecars 10/15/2017 at 15:26

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Gemelli, mother fuckers!

This is the only shell-related pasta that I will deign to stock:

CalzoneGolem > ptak appreciates old racecars 11/08/2017 at 08:02

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I didn’t comment on this thread when it was originally posted but I keep seeing it in the side bar and I want to tell you that this is a bad opinion and you should feel bad.

I’m sorry you lack the manual dexterity and refined palate to truly appreciate spaghetti.

If I could downvote this thread I would. Then I would create burner accounts to downvote it further.

ptak appreciates old racecars > CalzoneGolem 11/09/2017 at 04:14

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Tape worms.

Big mushy tape worms.

I have no regrets.