Angry house, or gigantic Tic-Tac-Toe board?

"Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo" (thetomselleck) 01/30/2017 at 00:25 • Filed to: houses

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YOU be the judge!

http://www.zillow.com/homes/for_sale/fsba,fsbo,fore,new_lt/house_type/2096640570_zpid/1-_beds/1-_baths/50000-_price/191-_mp/1_pnd/globalrelevanceex_sort/47.616346,-121.982918,47.552085,-122.100163_rect/12_zm/0_mmm/

CB > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 00:30

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Eh. 5.5/10.

shop-teacher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 00:32

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Ah! Nothing lines up!!!

Textured Soy Protein > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 00:34

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I...maybe like it? I can’t tell if I’m supposed to or not.

Tazio, Count Fouroff > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 00:47

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Haha the builder got the left and right side blueprints reversed

someassemblyrequired > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 00:50

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Well having to deal with people from Sammamish on a regular basis I’m going with angry and/or infected with rage.

Urambo Tauro > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 00:51

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SymmetriFAIL.

For Sweden > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 00:55

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This house looks like the front fascia of many contemporary automobiles

Tristan > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 00:57

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One, two, three, four, five! Five different types/colors of siding! Yaaaaaaaaa*barf*aaaaaayyyyy!

for Michigan > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 00:57

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Aesthetic disaster.

I can’t tell if it’s intentional.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 00:57

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“I’ve got a great idea guys, instead of having one big garage door, let’s have two narrow doors, and lets design the driveway in such away that you can’t drive straight up to one of those doors. It’ll be great!”

Seriously driving into that left garage door looks like it’d be a PITA in anything bigger than a Sonic sedan.

I think this choice of Wall art says it all.

LOREM IPSUM > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 00:59

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Circle gets the square!

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 01/30/2017 at 01:08

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I agree. Looks like the entire house was designed around the entry. Thus when they ended up with 7 somewhat-similar rectangles, they decided to nix the idea of a usable 2 car garage, kept the right pillar, and made a useless left bay door. Not even sure my Tercel could squeeze by that pillar.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 01:10

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It also really bugs me that the middle pillar isn’t centered between the two doors.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 01/30/2017 at 01:11

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Also it appears the bay door is not centered between the two pillars? Could it be the angle of the photo maybe?

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 01:21

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I thought it might be the angle of the photos, but if you look at where the roof over the front door mets the house, iit isn’t centered either. That whole longer roof section is lightly off center. To me, just enough to seem like it was a mistake, and not enough to be an intentional design detail. Especially since the doors, are centered on the building. The middle garage door, front door, and the three windows on the thrid level provide such a strong base of what the center line should be, it seems odd to stray from that line. E whole thing seems like a weak attempt at being avant-garde without taking enough risk(is that cliche?)

garagemonkee > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 01/30/2017 at 01:33

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I think you give it way too much credit for the quality of new construction in the 20XX’s. The space between the left and middle pillars is definitely smaller than the space between the right and middle pillars. How could you pull up to your house every day and see that? Re: garage door size, no one uses their garage doors anyway, it’s just a giant closet where you throw shit you don’t want to look at anymore. Like the front of that house.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > garagemonkee 01/30/2017 at 01:38

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I could provide a great argumening coin. “honey I have to get a motorcycle, I can’t get the car into the garage.”

Svend > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 02:04

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$998,950.

Are you kidding me. I know it’s quite spacious inside, especially so by U.K. standards but nearly a million dollars for that. Someones taking the piss.

That sort of money will get you this a few miles away from me.

http://www.rightmove.co.uk/property-for-sale/property-42105471.html

garagemonkee > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 01/30/2017 at 02:12

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“you’ll hurt yourself, and then lose your job, and then we couldn’t afford this garish $1mm house we were too dumb to buy, but it was more money than the Robertson’s, so we just had to jump on it.”

facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 02:42

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Something interesting on the map at that spot, though saving it seems a bit optimistic, it looks a bit too far gone:

facw > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 02:47

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Appears they ran out of money to do anything even remotely interesting with the back:

Svart Smart, traded in his Smart > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 03:43

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So much potential, wasted.

pip bip - choose Corrour > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 06:18

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too many stairs.

fintail > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 08:27

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Ah another cloned mcmodern with upper windows styled after a 70s contemporary. Not many of those around. And to boot, in a fairly distant suburb for just under 7 figures. Welcome to Seattle.

fintail > facw 01/30/2017 at 08:28

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mm composite siding and pieces from a shipping container.

Matt Nichelson > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 08:51

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The inside looks nice. You take that same house and put it where I live, though, and it’s $300k tops.

punkgoose17 > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 09:11

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That center downspout and porch roof are abused. It must not snow much there because that V would probably hold a ton of snow.

fintail > HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles 01/30/2017 at 09:18

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I can see it now. The debatably overpaid middle ager who runs out and buys an artisinal cafe racer or showboat cruiser at the slightest hint of midlife crisis, and then it collects dust or poorly wobbles down the road now and then, maybe not even with an endorsement.

fintail > Svend 01/30/2017 at 09:26

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The best part isn’t the price, but that it has effectively sold at that price. You can get a castle within several hours of here for the same money too, but sadly, few jobs to pay the mortgage in those areas.

The market here is insane. Tech money, dopey California transplants who sold houses they bought for nothing and are now way up in the market, sketchy offshore “investors” (mostly from areas where a certain someone has investments and debt) using RE as a money laundering vehicle (as in some parts of Canada and the UK along with others), maybe combined with a relative shortage of land and the place being trendy.

Here’s what 800K++ buys in my postal code:

http://www.windermere.com/listing/WA/Bellevue/1641-108th-Ave-SE-98004/51117194

http://www.windermere.com/listing/WA/Bellevue/10428-SE-13th-St-98004/49474537

Cheapest detached house in the area, the google earth view is telling:

http://www.windermere.com/listing/WA/Bellevue/11814-SE-5th-St-98005/51910503

Svend > fintail 01/30/2017 at 15:39

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Bloody hell. Those are ridiculous prices.

I’m in Cumbria, north west England and were what Washington State is to the U.K., furthest away from the capitol, low cost of living, very low population density, etc... Further down south the house prices are probably closer to the ones you’ve shown but for big city areas.

fintail > Svend 01/30/2017 at 21:16

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This is a special area. Seattle is the key city of the region, and one of the tech hubs worldwide. That combined with nice natural surroundings, something of a land shortage, growing population, being a fad, and being a destination for monied offshore buyers, has made prices in nicer areas go through the roof. Other places in WA are a fraction of the price, but don’t have the employment or amenities.

Funny thing, Vancouver BC doesn’t seem to have the commerce, but housing prices are a degree higher, due to a lot of exported money again. I think the average detached house in Vancouver proper passed 1MM some time ago. It’s probably as bad as London, at least nicer suburban London.

Rusty Vandura - www.tinyurl.com/keepoppo > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 01/30/2017 at 23:41

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Looks like it’s frowning.