Name Game: Make a Car's Name Horrible

"That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms" (thatbastardkurtis5) 01/11/2017 at 16:39 • Filed to: None

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Simple enough game, ladies and gents. Change a car’s name to make it horrible, while still keeping it instantly recognizable as the original car. For example, a Chevrolet Whorevette. Or my personal favorite that I’ve come up with, a Toyota 4skinner. Yes, this is both stupid and juvenile. No, I do not care.

bob and john > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 16:49

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hehe.

when Porsche came our with the panamera, all of the romanians i know (me included) were calling it the panarama, which in romanian, loosely translates as cluster fuck.

we had many a laugh over it.

Where have all the lightweights gone? > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 16:53

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How about the Mazda 3Way?

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > bob and john 01/11/2017 at 16:56

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To be fair, it is one hell of a panarama.

Galileo Humpkins (aka MC Clap Yo Handz) > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 16:59

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I’ll take the low hanging fruit:

Ford Massacrestang...Murderstang...something like that...or is that too accurate for this game??

Svend > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 17:02

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Skoda Moctavia, Octavia

Skoda Cityho, Citygo

Skoda Scabia, Fabia

Skoda Su-pube, Superb

Skoda Rabid, Rapid.

bhtooefr > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 17:24

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All that’s required is to play the anal game .

(And apparently that comic hasn’t been redrawn in the ( vastly improved) new art style yet...)

beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 17:47

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Toyota MR POO

Toyota Poopra

Toyota Poo-rolla

Poogatti

Poo-rabu

MustangSally06GT > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 17:49

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Don’t forget the Plymouth (then Dodge) Peon, everyone’s favorite egg on wheels.

itschrome > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 18:01

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We can call the Cts something like CT5.. that would be fucking horrible

TheRevanchist > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 18:01

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Chevrolet El Cum-on-me?-No.

I used to teach Spanish to children. I explained the translation is “The Camino”.

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 18:04

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back in college (in the late 90's) a buddy and I invented the entire line of Horde automobiles. The popular models were:

The Hempo (duuuuuuuuuuuuuuudeeeeee, time for a smokey-cruise, everyone to the Hempo!)

The Ass-Pirate (duh, ‘cuz it waz totes teh gayzorz.)

The Tear-Ass (even then we knew enough to respect the SHO)

The Def-150 (yo!)

The Stranger (think left hand...)

The Bongtour (like a fancier Hempo! duuuuuuuuuuudeeeeee!)

The Incredibly Non-P.C. Clown Spictoria (give us a break, we were 18 and dumb/bored/stoned/drunk)

and the ever popular, and self-incriminating Escort. (this one appears to be artificially “enhanced”...)

And then there was the Rustang/Pusstang/Bustang...

TFSIVTEC drivesavolvo > JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t 01/11/2017 at 18:24

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No Exploder?

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > itschrome 01/11/2017 at 18:27

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This is solid work.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > beardsbynelly - Rikerbeard 01/11/2017 at 18:28

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I love the place you took this to. Or, the place you took this...poo.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > TheRevanchist 01/11/2017 at 18:28

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El Cummy-ho?

JawzX2, Boost Addict. 1.6t, 2.7tt, 4.2t > TFSIVTEC drivesavolvo 01/11/2017 at 18:46

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i knew i was forgetting something!

Pyrochazm > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 18:47

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I always liked putting the word ”anal” in front of the car. Anal ram, anal lancer, anal probe, anal explorer etc.

It gets interesting when you use less obvious choices. Anal Avenger is one of my faves. Anal prowler is fun, anal Escort sounds like a good time And anal duster has various implications.

ptak appreciates old racecars > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 18:52

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Honda Quaalude

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Pyrochazm 01/11/2017 at 19:09

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Anal Dart sounds pretty bad. Anal Focus is nice and perverted. Anal Escape doesn’t make a ton of sense, but still. Anal Marauder sounds like someone you’d meet in prison. Anal Fury is probably the best possible one.

Pyrochazm > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 19:19

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Yes! You get anal fury from eating a plate of jalapeno poppers and drinking two mango habanero margaritas.

I drive an anal contour.

C62030 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 19:39

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Copping one from TopGear: Porsche Cockster.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Pyrochazm 01/11/2017 at 19:40

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I drive an Anal (Land) Cruiser, which doesn’t work well. But back when I was young, I had an Anal Rampage. That might actually be the best one.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > C62030 01/11/2017 at 19:41

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I’d have also accepted Porsche Gayman and Porsche Bush Did 911.

Pyrochazm > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 19:59

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I’ve owned a few that would work- anal trooper, Anal blazer, Anal contour, anal escort, anal legacy. The best one that I personally owned would have to be the anal SHO.

And yes, anal rampage is fantastic.

QCGoose > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/11/2017 at 23:15

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LaFerrari.

Wait, no. That name cannot get any dumber.

pip bip - choose Corrour > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 01/12/2017 at 06:38

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Craptiva

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > pip bip - choose Corrour 01/12/2017 at 07:59

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Elegant in its simplicity. How about a Buick Fecal?

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > QCGoose 01/12/2017 at 07:59

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Winner! It needed zero help.