Cycling PSA: poseur edition

"The Lurktastic Opponaught" (oppolurker) 09/06/2016 at 19:20 • Filed to: Road etiquette

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Mild rant ahead.

So you’ve got some money to spend. That’s great, and the cycling industry thanks you. Your high end Cervélo outfitted for time trial, aero helmet, Sidi shoes, nite rider lights, and high end jersey all add up to a really enviable bit of kit in the right setting. Like, oh I don’t know, a time trial.

However, there’s one little clue you’re broadcasting that tells us you walked into the cyclery and told them you wanted the “fastest bike” and “the best gear” they sell: most non-suicidial cyclists prefer to ride with the flow of traffic, not against.

Help us not kill you: ride with traffic and signal your turns. Please?

That is all.

jkm7680 > The Lurktastic Opponaught 09/06/2016 at 19:29

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Most cyclist I encounter act like they’re holier-than-thou rulers of the road. They run stop signs, red lights, ride slowly in the middle of the road, refuse to move over to let cars pass, or ride on roads where bicycles aren’t allowed.

Either way, on the a lot of roads they’re a nuisance. Dangerous as well. If you’re on a bike going 25 on a twisty 2 lane road and the speed limit is 45, then get the fuck out of my way....

Honeybunchesofgoats > The Lurktastic Opponaught 09/06/2016 at 19:32

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THANK YOU.

Living in the sort of semi-suburban hell filled with recreational cyclists, I encounter these dimwits daily.

A few weeks ago, I was going around a sharp blind corner on a road without marked lanes or a shoulder. Obviously, since it’s sharp and blind, I was doing under 25 and over as far as a could. As I come around the corner, I see some dipshit middle aged guy on a bike heading right towards me. I hit the brakes, swerve, and that dick head raises his hands in disgust and the flips me off, like it’s my fault.

I kind of hope he gets hit by someone who isn’t me.

The Lurktastic Opponaught > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 19:36

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I’m a roadie and all about sharing the road, but some people are just not being safe. I do my best to lead by example: it’s not hard to follow the exact same rules on a bicycle as I do in a car.

jkm7680 > The Lurktastic Opponaught 09/06/2016 at 19:38

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It’s usually a middle aged man wearing spandex riding in the middle of the road.

I get that they’re allowed on the road as well, but they aren’t the road. They also have to keep in mind that cars are big heavy forts of metal and glass.

Honeybunchesofgoats > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 19:42

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I once dropped a cyclist on 33rd street in Manhattan who ran a red light and nearly hit me in the crosswalk. I instinctively jumped back and hit him in the face with a bag. It was one of my proudest moments.

That said, I will disagree with the “get out of my way” part. Legally, they have the same rights and an other road vehicle, so just pass when safe and carry on. I don’t mind sharing the road, I just mind when cyclists don't obey the same rules as any other vehicle operator.

The Lurktastic Opponaught > Honeybunchesofgoats 09/06/2016 at 19:42

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I commute by bike in the late summer and fall once I’ve trained up- 42 miles each way. In four years I’ve never once had a problem or near miss with a car. It’s actually pretty easy: I stay safe by being predictable. I signal, stop at lights and stop signs, take lane position where appropriate and not impeding traffic, and I don’t ride with sunglasses so I can make eye contact with drivers. I cringe every time I see someone riding against traffic. It’s hands down the number one way cyclists put themselves in danger.

jkm7680 > Honeybunchesofgoats 09/06/2016 at 19:45

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God damn, hahaha. Did he fall off or anything?

The Lurktastic Opponaught > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 19:45

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yeeaaahhh. He'd spent the GDP of a small pacific nation on spandex. That's a pretty good sign.

Honeybunchesofgoats > The Lurktastic Opponaught 09/06/2016 at 19:50

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I honestly don’t understand how people cannot see that it’s safer to be headed away from 4000lbs of steel than towards it. It’s basic math. Not to mention giving people the opportunity to actually see you before coming up on you.

I have to say, despite the odd idiots, a lot of the cyclists around me are very courteous and genuinely thankful if you do things like yield to them at intersections.

Honeybunchesofgoats > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 19:52

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Yup. I kept walking though.

The Lurktastic Opponaught > Honeybunchesofgoats 09/06/2016 at 19:55

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Yes. I mountain bike at lunch near my office, and I have to transit to the trail heads through a heavily industrial area with lots of traffic. Most drivers are very courteous, if for no other reason than they can tell what the hell I’m doing. A little common courtesy on the road goes a long way. The best ones are the semi drivers- they’re fantastic to share a roadway with.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 20:18

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Joining your rant about ***SOME*** of these people.

The worse is when they blow through stop signs and the mean mug in the process. As if to say, “werter you gun do aBert it?”

Oh, when they are in the road, but the light turns red so they zig-zag through the crosswalks of the intersection. They’re a car when it serves them, and then a pedestrian.

jimz > The Lurktastic Opponaught 09/06/2016 at 20:21

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are they cyclists, or “Capital C” Cyclists? The latter group is a bunch of assholes.

The Lurktastic Opponaught > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/06/2016 at 20:27

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It smacks of the “I’m a special snowflake when it suits me” brand of selfishness. It seems to have a fairly broad demographic.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > The Lurktastic Opponaught 09/06/2016 at 20:51

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Just imagine how they are behind the wheel of a GLC

The Lurktastic Opponaught > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/06/2016 at 20:56

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I’d imagine that they’re fairly smug, what with their “BJ&BUFY” vanity plate. Yep- that exists near my office. I really should stop for a photo.

Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 21:31

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The people I know who ride in the middle of the road usually do so because they get sick of not getting safe passing distances from cars.

Also, you accuse cyclists of breaking the laws but drivers do so too - texting, speeding, rolling stop signs, etc. You just judge cyclists more harshly because they’re different.

Your attitude about them being on 45mph roads is also indicative of one of those situations where a cyclist can't win. Some say they shouldn't be in cities, some say they shouldn't be on high speed rural roads, some say no city parks paths where people walk.

jkm7680 > Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle 09/06/2016 at 21:43

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A cyclist can’t win because a cyclist doesn’t belong on a road where the speed limit is 45.

End of story.

Spridget > The Lurktastic Opponaught 09/06/2016 at 22:04

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Another PSA: If you see runners, cyclists, or walkers running on the side of the road and there’s no on coming from the other direction, move over. We can’t always get over like you can. Last night while out running I was almost shoved off of the road by a Highlander. I couldn’t move over, because I’d fall in a creek, so you have to if it doesn’t endanger you. Also, turn off your damn brights. At 7:30 pm there’s still enough daylight for your DRLs.

Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 22:19

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Your opinion! And a bad one!

CB > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 22:25

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What if there are no other roads? For example, there are loads of rural roads here that are 80 km/h. If I want to ride my bike and exercise, I have no other choice than to ride on these roads, which I am legally allowed to do. Unless a cyclist is legally prohibited from riding on a roadway, they “belong” there, in your words.

jkm7680 > Neil drives a beetle and a fancy beetle 09/06/2016 at 22:25

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Wow, apparently you don’t understand how opinions work in that case.

I don't want to see a bicycle on a twisty, narrow road where the speed limit is 45. You have to be suicidal or just plain stupid to think that's s good idea.

bhtooefr > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 22:26

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Taking control of the lane is the safest way to go when there isn’t a safe bike lane/path available, and the lane isn’t at least 14 feet wide (the standard for when a lane is wide enough for motor vehicles and cyclists to safely share it). Even a 14 foot lane has some situations where it’s safer to control the lane (for instance, if there’s a lot of driveways on the right side, or parking alongside the lane).

Xyl0c41n3 > The Lurktastic Opponaught 09/06/2016 at 22:28

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I don’t know where you are, but here in Texas, cyclists are actually legally required to ride with the flow of traffic. Bicycles are considered vehicles under state law and have to abide by the same laws as motorized vehicles (with the exception of speed, obviously, because ain’t no cyclist cruising at 55mph on a country road).

But yeah: we’ve gotta ride on the right side of the road, in a designated bicycle lane or the far right lane if no bike lane exists. We can “take” a lane of traffic, such as a straight only (in the event the right lane turns into a right-turn-only lane) or left turn lane. It’s safer to do that rather than sit near the curb signaling with your arm that you’re going to turn left across four lanes of traffic.

We have to stop at all stop signs and obey traffic signals. We have to have some sort of headlight and tail light from dusk until dawn (with minimum visibility requirements for each). Cyclists must wear helmets (which is ironic as fuck since motorcyclists aren’t required to wear helmets).

And as far as cars moving over? State law says they cars don’t have to move into a left lane if one is available, but cars do have to scoot over at least within the lane they’re in.

jkm7680 > CB 09/06/2016 at 22:28

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The road I’m taking about in particular has a bike path parallel to it.

Do they use it? No. Why? Because they don't like it as much.

CB > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 22:29

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You failed to specify. And even with designated bike paths, a bike doesn’t have to use the path (as far as I’m aware). Hell, I think I’d rather deal with traffic than deal with pedestrians as a cyclist.

jkm7680 > CB 09/06/2016 at 22:33

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Well if there’s a path or bike lane, then fuckin use it. That’s what it’s there for.

Smashed cyclist who didn’t want to ride on the bike path that was put their for his own good is no fun.

CB > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 22:36

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I live in a major urban centre, where in about the last two weeks, two cyclists in bike lanes have either been hit or doored. Bike lane doesn’t automatically mean safer, especially when drivers still drive or park in them. As well, bike paths aren’t always convenient, depending on someone’s route, where they get on, and where they get off.

Xyl0c41n3 > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 22:49

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Depending on the road, a cyclist can actually cruise around 40mph. I think my bike mechanic’s best was 43mph.

He’s in his 60s.

He’s a lifelong cyclist who rides 40-60 miles (minimum) every day, though, so his skills are the exception, not the rule. His normal distance cruising speed is anywhere between 17-25mph.

That said, we live in Texas. MANY roads here have 45mph or faster speed limits, even in the heart of municipal and residential areas. Our country roads have 75mph speed limits. The minimum speed limit on a country road is 55mph. Those aren’t controlled access freeways with jersey barriers, they’re 2-4 lane black tops, some with shoulders, some without, and with nothing more than a stripe of reflective yellow paint to separate the two directions of travel.

The one who needs to keep in mind that cars are big fortresses of metal and glass is you, the person who would feel more physical discomfort from a mosquito bite compared to the physical repercussions you’d feel hitting a cyclist while safely cocooned in your car. That cyclist, though, can experience anything from cuts and bruises, to major bone fractures, internal injuries or death when struck by your metal fortress.

It doesn’t matter how annoyed you get by cyclists — whether it be cyclists who are following traffic laws but are still being annoyingly slow because they’re powering their machines with their own muscles, or whether they’re ignoring traffic laws and blowing through a crosswalk during a red light — you’ve got the ability to kill that person in a heartbeat, so the onus is on you to be as careful as you can be.

Now, if a cyclist is breaking some sort of law and you hit them with your car, your insurance company may side with you (they will), and the cops may not cite you (they won’t), but trust me when I say your conscience won’t let you off that easy, no matter how much you remind yourself that it technically wasn’t your fault. You’ll feel like shit even if they don’t die.

Oppo’s rule of “don’t be a dick” (which has been updated to “be excellent to each other”) applies to real life, too. Maybe the cyclists who are annoying you are being dicks on purpose. Maybe they’re not. I know sometimes I have no choice but to use a left turn lane because I’m legally obligated to follow traffic laws when I’m on my bike. I know it takes me longer to get up to speed and pass through the intersection, but I’m following the law. Regardless of what you think of cyclists, be the bigger person. Because, again, you have the power to kill us.

jkm7680 > Xyl0c41n3 09/06/2016 at 22:53

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I’m talking about on twisty roads with high speed limits, where a cyclist couldn’t reach high speeds.

I move over for bikes and whatnot And I don’t drive aggressively around them. But other people do.

I mountain bike, but I stay the hell off the roads. And I for sure won’t be riding on any busy road unless I suddenly decide I want to be hit by a Starbucks infused soccer mom in a Lexus SUV.

Xyl0c41n3 > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 22:57

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If it’s a public road, they have every right to be there. Even in the twisties. You know how twisty roads are fun to drive? The same is true for cycling. Leaning into a turn at speed is amazeballs.

And cyclists coexist with motorized traffic on busy roads all the time. You could probably do it, too, if you got off the knobbies and gave it a try.

Also, the last part of your comment is sexist as fuck. Not appreciated.

jkm7680 > Xyl0c41n3 09/06/2016 at 23:03

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Yeah ok, pull that card.

I'm done. There's no winning here.

Xyl0c41n3 > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 23:23

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Why’d you change your comment from just “Ok.”?

And what card? You made a comment stereotyping drivers who are likely to hit cyclists as women who are mothers who drink Starbucks and drive expensive SUVs. It’s not “pull(ing) that card” to object to your stereotyping of bad drivers, especially when reams of data back up the opposite of your assertion. Why do you think young drivers (male or female) are charged higher insurance rates until they’re about 25? Because they’re higher risk drivers who are more likely to get in accidents. But young male drivers are charged even higher rates because statistics show they have a higher likelihood still of being involved in an accident.

You could have said you didn’t want to risk being hit by a distracted driver, but you didn’t. Instead, you made use of a crude and sexist stereotype. That’s not ok.

jkm7680 > Xyl0c41n3 09/06/2016 at 23:29

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Because I can.

I don’t agree with you and I have better things to do than argue with you on the Internet.

So I'm done. Please don’t drag this out any farther.

Xyl0c41n3 > jkm7680 09/06/2016 at 23:32

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Fine. Then please refrain from making sexist comments in the future and everything will be gravy. :) Cheers!

CB > Xyl0c41n3 09/06/2016 at 23:32

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On the left turn thing, one thing I liked about Ottawa was that they had designated spots at certain intersections for bikes to stop, and they had a spot on the far side of the intersection for bikes turning left so that they wouldn’t hold up traffic and actually had a safe spot to stop. It’s pretty smart.

Xyl0c41n3 > CB 09/06/2016 at 23:39

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Texas is barely starting to make the move towards fully-colored bike lanes like you have there. They still haven’t gotten to my part of the state yet. But I can’t wait until they do, because the higher visibility would be nice. I only hope they don’t use a paint that makes the road surface slicker in the rain.

I live near a road where the shoulder is also the designated bike lane yet several times a week I'll see people driving in it. Like, half in, half out of it. I never understand why people do that. :/

CB > Xyl0c41n3 09/06/2016 at 23:42

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It’s not all over yet. Toronto still has a long ways to go. Ottawa, even though it was buried in snow half the year, was much friendlier for bikers. Bike lanes, bike paths all throughout the city. Hopefully things get better for cyclists.

And that’s probably because people are generally inattentive or think that it’s not a bike lane if there’s no one riding in it at the time, or something. People driving always think they have right of way, I guess.

BoulderZ > The Lurktastic Opponaught 09/07/2016 at 01:30

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I ride to and from work and daycare drop-off (and a bunch of other rides, road and mountain), and fear this time of year. From Labor Day, through Daylight Wasting Time, to Thanksgiving, the theme for many cyclists here is “ill prepared”. I’m glad they’re out there and trying to figure it out, but in a university town each fall is a huge influx of folks starting on the worst part of the learning curve. The number of bike ninjas around here won’t drop until the Friday before Thanksgiving. Blacked out and no lights is not a great way to ride. It always works itself out, but the process is harrowing.

The Lurktastic Opponaught > BoulderZ 09/07/2016 at 06:08

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“Bike ninjas” is a great term.

The Lurktastic Opponaught > Xyl0c41n3 09/07/2016 at 11:46

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The intent of the law here in Maine is generally the same. Cars are required to yield >3 feet of space to a rider, and riders are expected to follow the same vehicular rules as other traffic.

What I witness regularly are easily corrected errors made by both sides of the equation. That, coupled with almost zero education and lax enforcement for both drivers and riders that aren’t playing nice adds up to animosity and a significant risk of harm.

Xyl0c41n3 > The Lurktastic Opponaught 09/07/2016 at 12:13

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We have a problem here with drunk drivers hitting cyclists and then prosecution of them being really lacking. It kinda sucks. The headlight/tail light law is statewide, but lots of cities also include that as a local ordinance. The only time I’ve ever seen a cop enforce it is to use it as an excuse to harass someone they think has drugs. It gives them a reason to make a traffic stop on an otherwise unassuming cyclist who isn’t going to risk telling a cop “no” when s/he asks what they have in their pockets.

I mentioned my bike mechanic in a previous comment. He’s been a lifelong rider and has had tons of near misses from drivers who aggressively harass him. He’s not one of those cyclists who putters around at 6-10mph, nor does he violate traffic laws, but the animus towards cyclists is just unbelievable here. I don’t know a single cyclist who hasn’t been harassed by a motorist (that includes me), or who doesn’t know someone who has been injured or killed in a cyclist/motorist accident. There’s a saying, “it’s not if, but when,” meaning, it’s going to happen to all of us.

brianbrannon > Spridget 09/07/2016 at 15:30

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Whaa, cars are getting near me when I’m running in the street. That green stuff and the concrete specifically made for feet aren’t good enough for my entitled jogging

BoulderZ > The Lurktastic Opponaught 09/08/2016 at 00:32

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I have to give credit, I first saw the term in the Smith/Griggs comic, Yehuda Moon/Kickstand Comics, probably 10 years ago.