![]() 08/15/2016 at 18:40 • Filed to: Headlines | ![]() | ![]() |
There are a lot of bad, clickbaity, simply idiotic headlines out there. For some reason, the phrase “Is the Mitsubishi Lancer the spiritual successor to the BMW E30?” came to mind, and I thought it would be fun to come up with more. Doesn’t have to be plausible, just whatever your own definition of “bad automotive headline” is.
![]() 08/15/2016 at 18:43 |
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“Why buy a Focus RS/Golf R/STI/GT PP when you can buy a ten year old Lancer with a 5-speed gearbox and shitty front seats for $40k instead?”
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“Manuals suck”
![]() 08/15/2016 at 18:44 |
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Anything comparing the new Civic to any Honda from the glory years.
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Car culture is dead because of millennials.
![]() 08/15/2016 at 18:47 |
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Can *INSERT CAR HERE* compete with the Germans????
![]() 08/15/2016 at 18:48 |
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Spoiler alert: no. Because your perception of German cars is greater than they or anything else can ever be.
![]() 08/15/2016 at 18:49 |
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http://oppositelock.kinja.com/why-everyones-…
![]() 08/15/2016 at 18:50 |
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The Manual Transmission Is Dead and it’s Your Fault, Gearheads
![]() 08/15/2016 at 18:51 |
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CAFE will make V8s better!!
The manual transmission is dead because of millennials.
Millennials aren’t buying cars.
Can I make more? :p
![]() 08/15/2016 at 18:54 |
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6 Reasons Why Women Keep Buying Cars/Bikes That Are Obviously Meant For Men.
![]() 08/15/2016 at 18:58 |
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CVTs are better than manuals and here’s why.
![]() 08/15/2016 at 19:02 |
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Something something OMG SELF DRIVING CARS something else DANGEROUS another thing COMING IN 13.344 YEARS are you ready???
![]() 08/15/2016 at 19:03 |
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“What do you want to know about X?” I’ll tell you what we want to know about X, the same thing we wanted to know about A-W, how it is to drive, what the interior is like and what, if any, storage there is.
![]() 08/15/2016 at 19:08 |
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“Buy a RWD car because you are literally Hitler if you drive a fwd car.”
“Why buy a decent mid level sedan while you can get a worn out panther platform with a shot 4.6"
![]() 08/15/2016 at 19:11 |
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Beautiful
![]() 08/15/2016 at 19:12 |
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Is it just me or does Jalopnik rarely follow up on those? It seems for every one review there's 5 question requests. Maybe it's the time of them (takes a while to write/edit) or maybe I just overlook the final reviews somehow.
![]() 08/15/2016 at 19:13 |
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You got your headline mixed up on that last one. You can buy 10 panthers for almost any mid level sedan.
![]() 08/15/2016 at 19:17 |
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Why You Should Never Buy a New Car...
Why You Should Never Buy a Used Car...
Why You’re an Idiot for Leasing Your Car...
Why You’re Throwing Money Away by Not Leasing Your Car...
...
Just Ride a Motherfucking Bike.
![]() 08/15/2016 at 19:19 |
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NTHS outlaws manual transmissions due to safety concerns; brown manual diesel wagons criminalized.
![]() 08/15/2016 at 19:24 |
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https://kinja.com/alissawalker
At least only the car related ones.
![]() 08/15/2016 at 19:40 |
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Top ten worst top ten lists was pretty bad, although I enjoyed the article
![]() 08/15/2016 at 21:00 |
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10,000 of the greatest PT Cruisers yet made
209 reasons the Aztek should be the only vehicle gm makes
M3: Overrated, or Overblown?
Why doesn’t everyone drive and park like German-brand drivers?
Gearheads should only drive “fixies”
FCA to purchase Subaru, BMW, Mitsubishi, Morgan, Ariel, Noble, and Koenigsegg.
![]() 08/15/2016 at 21:07 |
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Lets take a look at the front page of our favorite automotive blog....
The US Considered Hiding Nuclear Weapons In Iceland (And Not Telling Iceland)
Save When You Pair Your Favorite Watches With Handmade Leather Bands [Exclusive]
The Black Women Who Served As NASA’s ‘Human Computers’
What Are Your Favorite Everyday Men’s Socks?
...
(Though I have to humbly admit, that
I
didn’t actually come up with these.)
![]() 08/15/2016 at 21:10 |
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I love driving handmade leather bands
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Awesome. I just don’t think I want to know about anyones experiences driving their favorite everyday men’s socks.
![]() 08/16/2016 at 00:52 |
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There’s a Riot at the local Chevy dealer because of this dirt cheap luxury automobile that no news agencies have the balls to write about!