Some left this on my porch

"Sam" (samwellington) 08/09/2016 at 15:36 • Filed to: None

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22

I’m confused. Am I getting married now?

They didn’t even ring the door bell. I just heard the screen door come open quietly and then shut.

(In reality, I think my bro may have gotten dumped)

CalzoneGolem > Sam 08/09/2016 at 15:38

19

Fuck ... you just opened Pandora’s box numbnuts!

Sam > CalzoneGolem 08/09/2016 at 15:39

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But it’s so shiny!

Jcarr > Sam 08/09/2016 at 15:41

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By accepting it you ARE married now.

Congratulations!

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Sam 08/09/2016 at 15:41

1

God dammit Stoner, get your shit together!

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > CalzoneGolem 08/09/2016 at 15:43

1

Damn. Beat me to it.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Sam 08/09/2016 at 15:43

5

(In reality, I think my bro may have gotten dumped).

I hope they already broke up and that she was just returning the ring. Because otherwise this is a pretty pathetic non-confrontational tactic.

Hermann > Sam 08/09/2016 at 15:43

4

That's not how you ring a doorbell!

ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper > Sam 08/09/2016 at 15:46

2

At least she gave it back.

Sam > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 08/09/2016 at 15:46

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She’s a terrible person, so it wouldn’t surprise me. She literally told him he was fat and should just kill himself (not even in a joking or sarcastic way). WHILE THEY WERE FUCKING DATING.

Sam > ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper 08/09/2016 at 15:47

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Yeah, it’s actually a pretty nice ring. If she hadn’t likely told him she was giving it back, I’d snag it myself and throw it on eBay or something.

CalzoneGolem > Sam 08/09/2016 at 15:47

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The Dummy Gummy > Sam 08/09/2016 at 15:48

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Your name is now Bilbo and you must guard my precious the ring.

Ash78, voting early and often > Sam 08/09/2016 at 15:49

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He should write her back and say it was about time he got a little box, because hers was as big as a house. #seniorweek

Sam > Ash78, voting early and often 08/09/2016 at 15:51

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#HotTake

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Sam 08/09/2016 at 15:51

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Shit, with you’re going to need a more impressive ring to wrangle in someone who hates your guts, I guess

BorkBorkBjork > Sam 08/09/2016 at 15:57

11

So you actually opened a box that said “PANDORA” on it?

Sam > BorkBorkBjork 08/09/2016 at 15:58

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I open all boxes. I don’t discriminate.

HammerheadFistpunch > Sam 08/09/2016 at 16:05

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you know, once you open PANDORAS box, it can’t be closed.

The Dummy Gummy > Ash78, voting early and often 08/09/2016 at 16:07

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brick house?

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > Sam 08/09/2016 at 16:20

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If it is your bro getting dumped, harsh way for her to do it...

V8VespaStoppie > Sam 08/09/2016 at 17:09

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Bejeweled cock ring?

The Snowman > Sam 08/09/2016 at 20:02

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Giggity.