A Cop's Perfect Comeback: Logic FTW

"Ross Kraz" (ropstafer) 06/22/2016 at 13:04 • Filed to: cops

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On a return trip home from college a few years ago, I got pulled over for speeding. I was PO’d because I was getting passed by other cars around me at the time.

When I expressed that I felt cheated and that the other cars should have been pulled over, he replied,

“So, if someone kills one person, do you think we should let them go because somebody else killed three people? What’s illegal is illegal, sir, no matter how much it breaks the law by.”

I had nothing. He was right.

He let me off with a warning.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Ross Kraz 06/22/2016 at 13:08

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So the person who only killed one gets a warning too? Meh. We all know speed limits are kept artificially low because revenue.

Wacko > Ross Kraz 06/22/2016 at 13:13

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if the person doing the killing is a cop, yes then he will get a warning....

and speeding is only illegal, to be able to fine us and fund the police.

Urambo Tauro > Ross Kraz 06/22/2016 at 13:13

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After a downhill slope caused my speed to go over the limit, the cop’s response to my plea was “you have a brake pedal, don’t you?”

Damn. Can’t argue with that.

jariten1781 > Ross Kraz 06/22/2016 at 13:19

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The officer who lives down the street from me have talked about this a few times. Boils down to, if there's a number of cars speeding they'll pull over whoever looks like they're most likely to have secondary violations. Middle aged lady in a beige mobile is probably safe while scruffy teen in a clapped out Integra is going to get tagged even if the lady is going marginally faster/passing. Only caveat is that anyone who's up into the reckless driving speeding category will get pulled over full stop even if there's also a speeding car with a billion secondaries.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Urambo Tauro 06/22/2016 at 13:19

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Brake lights going down hills aggravate traffic jams.

But yeah, legally he has you. I have to say, one feature I’d like to see is a brake light override button, so you could avoid situations like this. On the other hand, it’s a “perfect world” solution and would probably cause more problems.

CB > Wacko 06/22/2016 at 13:22

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... really? That’s the only reason why it’s illegal? It’s not like having people being able to choose what speed they’re going would be dangerous in towns and residential areas? I agree with the idea that speed limits are probably too low on major highways where I am (100 km/h, but traffic is usually doing at least 110 km/h), but I hardly believe that speed limits are just a cashgrab.

jariten1781 > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 06/22/2016 at 13:25

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Hand brake doesn't activate the brake lights and works just fine for minor speed correction on slight grades.

Wacko > CB 06/22/2016 at 13:26

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90km/h to me is a cash grab. limit should be 110, since it’s the natural traffic speed. but that would mean a loss of revenue.

50km/h in a city is ok, no need to go faster.

on reflection I shouldn’t of used only.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 06/22/2016 at 13:30

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I could see a break light override switch leading to nefarious behavior. Hide it the button, press it and slam on your brakes when somebody is tailgating you. They tell the cop your lights weren't working, you can show them otherwise.

Ross Kraz > jariten1781 06/22/2016 at 13:36

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That’s the definition of profiling. Most likely the middle aged lady is also the cause of traffic jams and many near accidents because she is completely oblivious to the road around her.

BigBlock440 > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 06/22/2016 at 13:36

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Also, running from the cops. Can’t see your brake lights, they don’t know you slowed down and turned off.

Ross Kraz > Urambo Tauro 06/22/2016 at 13:37

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Someone told me once that having a speed trap at the bottom of a hill was illegal. I never checked it out, though.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > jariten1781 06/22/2016 at 13:38

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But auto. Can use foot e-brake, but it’s a bit awkward...

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 06/22/2016 at 13:40

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Which is why I said it’s a perfect world solution.

Though tbh I can’t see it being used that way. For the most part brake-checkers don’t REALLY want to break their cars. I assume. I see it more being used to get away from cops at night.

That said, it’s probably a simple job to make one yourself.

Tekamul > Ross Kraz 06/22/2016 at 13:41

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That’s a pretty bad comparison, since one is killing somebody, the other is a moving violation.

The correct response would be “you’re only doing this to collect money, and that guy owes you more.”

Nothing > Ross Kraz 06/22/2016 at 13:42

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I had a cop’s perfect comeback once when I was in college. After passing a field sobriety test (mainly because I hadn’t been drinking) the cop then said, “Well since I can’t bust you for DUI, I’ll give you a speeding ticket.” I knew I hadn’t been speeding. So did my passenger. The cop’s response “Good luck proving it.” After the encounter, the cop followed me back to my house, in the dark, with his headlights off. He poked around our property a bit until my dad went out and told him to leave.

I went to the tiny town court and argued against the case. I lost. I tried to get the ticket tossed because it 1. Had the wrong date. 2. Had the wrong license plate. 3. Had the wrong vehicle. 4. Had the wrong town. 5. Had the wrong speed limit. The judge’s response was that I could either accept the ticket, or he’d have the deputy come up and rewrite it because he was sitting right over there. The ticket was for 4 mph over the limit, so i wasn’t worried about points on my license and didn’t want to spend money on a lawyer for something that I thought was an easy dismissal, and at worst, the consequences were nearly nil. The ticket never did go on my driving record.

When the hearing ended (the entire department of 7 showed up for my hearing), the sheriff’s deputy then asked the judge if they were still going fishing that afternoon. The judge said yessir, I now have $75 to go buy some new lures! They all had a good belly laugh as I walked out.

I should’ve brought my passenger to court with me, but didn’t even think to. Probably would’ve helped, he was a state trooper’s son.

shop-teacher > Ross Kraz 06/22/2016 at 13:44

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Do you honestly think that saying most middle aged woman don’t pay attention to the road is not profiling? Talk about hypocritical.

Ross Kraz > Nothing 06/22/2016 at 13:46

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That story had so many WTF moments... That’s insane. It probably never went on your record because all the info was entered wrong.

Ross Kraz > shop-teacher 06/22/2016 at 13:48

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That was kind of the point

Mustafaluigi > Ross Kraz 06/22/2016 at 13:52

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My first ever ticket my name was spelled wrong and thankfully was, because within the 6 month probation I had for the speeding ticket I got another but nothing came of it because the information never cross matched. Granted I changed states between the dates so it may have made it harder but I got very very lucky.

jariten1781 > Ross Kraz 06/22/2016 at 13:52

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Well, yes and no... It’s profiling in the dictionary sense, but not in the common language ‘racial’ sense. The first is kosher and smart policing, the second is patently illegal.

And, no middle aged women are not more hazardous than teens in shitty sporty vehicles. This is borne out through decades upon decades of actuarial date.

DynamicWeight > Nothing 06/22/2016 at 14:10

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This story makes me so mad. Living in a densely populated area I’m completely astonished that people can get away with this. Never would this ever happen where I live. Putting up any fight to a ticket at all here gets them drastically reduced/dismissed.

I’ve been pulled over doing well over 110 and paid nothing for it with no points as an example.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Urambo Tauro 06/22/2016 at 14:12

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Brakes just slow you down. I got rid of mine.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Wacko 06/22/2016 at 14:14

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No, they’ll get a medal.

Wacko > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 06/22/2016 at 14:16

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if the victim suspect was not white.

Nothing > Ross Kraz 06/22/2016 at 14:51

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I’d say it was because it was never registered with the state and the town judge pocketed/split the money with the deputy. The town size where I was pulled over has a population of less than 600.

Where I grew up in northern NY, there are so many random police stories. I’ve also been taken in for questioning for carrying a boquet of flowers to a girlfriend’s house (whose garden did you steal these from!), taken in for questioning for tucking my shirt in (were you publicly urinating? Why were you tucking in your shirt?), and taken in for questioning for having a walkman (did you steal that?). They get bored in small towns.

Thankfully, I moved out of the area in 1996.

Another example:

smobgirl > Ross Kraz 06/22/2016 at 15:01

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My dad was pulled over in a similar situation once when I was a kid. The cop asked if he knew why he’d been over and Dad replied, “Because you couldn’t catch anyone else.” That ended any chance of just getting a warning.

PartyPooper2012 > Ross Kraz 06/22/2016 at 15:01

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Theoretically, since earth is round, you’re always rolling downhill. It can’t be illegal

knewman > jariten1781 06/22/2016 at 20:59

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You say that about the middle aged lady, but once I was doing a ride-along with a college buddy who became a cop and we pulled over the most innocent-looking elderly woman driving a GM W-body for rolling into the crosswalk while pedestrians were traversing. Her rap sheet was a mile long with DUIs and drug arrests going back to the 70s! Never would have guessed on first glance. Or second glance for that matter.

Ross Kraz > jariten1781 06/24/2016 at 13:38

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I think the gearhead teens get a bad rap from all the other teens. I’ve never had one of those “what the fuck is this person doing” moments behind a kid in a sporty car. They may be more aggressive, but they are at least paying attention.

Regardless, I was in a CR-V.