The Volvo 240 Is a Shitty Car

"Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies" (jordanwphillips)
06/05/2016 at 12:57 • Filed to: Shitty Cars

There, I said it. Growing up in one, I should have feelings of nostalgia and wants to revisit my childhood by getting another, but I don’t. Why? Because it was a terrible car. I have so many great memories in that car. It’s what my Dad drove me to baseball practice in, what we took long Sunday drives in, and it’s even what I learned to drift in. The car we had was even built in the month and year my parents got married. It was a car we were destined to keep. But we didn’t. Why? Because it was shit. I’m aware that it is your god, being a RWD wagon, but that doesn’t make it good. While a reliable engine, the Redblock was pretty much just that. Yes, it can take a lot of power, but that doesn’t mean you should. It was a boring engine in a boring car with the driving dynamics of a Camry. Ours made it to over 300k miles. That sounds almost impressive, doesn’t it? Wrong. It made it there through 2 transmissions, many suspension parts, and hundreds of dollars in various electrical parts that never really worked. Hundreds of dollars might not seem like much in the long run, but this was a $1500 car. In 1999. The car was a 1990 model. Then there was dealing with it in the summer, because it had Volvo’s world famous AC. Whole different reason for being terrible.

Now, you might think this was an isolated incident, but we’ve had 2 240's, 1 740, and an 850. All of them were crap.

Also, those of you that are going to praise it for it’s ability to modify, just stop. I’ve heard it before. Just admit you are a hipster, because there are several other cars that would be better suited for it.

I’m glad we crushed the piece of shit.

Buy an E30, W123, or something other than one of these piles of shit if you want something to modify.

DISCUSSION (59)

mazda616 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 13:05

I never realized they had a following at all until I joined this site and began reading Jalopnik as well. I always thought they were old boxy wagons that had all died by now.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > mazda616
06/05/2016 at 13:06

For whatever reason, they do. And it’s annoying. Everybody is entitled to like what they like, but don’t lie to yourself and others that they are good.

Amoore100 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 13:16

I feel like the 740 was better because we didn’t go through a lot of those issues...my dad kind of neglected them and fixed them whenever he had time, and his turbo wagon was pretty fast for what it was at the time.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Amoore100
06/05/2016 at 13:18

Ours was less reliable than our 240, but that was due to the D24T.

Steve in Manhattan > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 13:21

Tell us how you really feel ...

My Volvo experience consists of a 142E (auto) 142S (4M) and a long term rental 850 wagon. If I’d ever have had a kid, their first car would have been the biggest, ugliest Volvo wagon with the most airbags that I could find. I like my kids alive.

Alfalfa > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 13:22

God forbid there are a lot of “hipster Volvo fans” on a site born from Jalopnik. The etymology of which is literally a combination of Jalopy and beatnik.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Steve in Manhattan
06/05/2016 at 13:22

I don’t hate the new ones as much. The bricks are terrible though.

Hot Takes Salesman > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 13:25

MultiplaOrgasms > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 13:35

They are basically just like any other 1970s and 1980s car that has a cult following for being cheap and easy to modify.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 14:12

Yeah it’s horrible but I still want one.

Spridget > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 14:14

Let me ask you something: Do you love your 4Runner? Your ugly beater 4Runner? A car in the 1990s that was outdated in the 1980s? Your 4Runner with all of the niggling issues which you ignore because you love it and the engine still runs? A car which you’ve modified to make your own? A car that has several technical features which aren’t up to par?

I realize that since it’s a body on frame, RWD truck it’s many people’s God, but I say buy a Bronco, Blazer, or something other than that piece of shit if you want something to modify.

I think you get my point.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Spridget
06/05/2016 at 14:17

Yeah, but the thing is, I admit it’s a pile of shit. Also, it has broken down twice in 4 years at 200k miles. Not on a weekly basis. There is the difference. On top of that, Toyota is known for durability. It actually is a good vehicle for the most part. The 240 is not.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
06/05/2016 at 14:18

You really don’t, unless you like suffocating during the summer.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 14:20

I suffocate in the summer anyway so..... What’s new?

Spridget > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 14:21

I think your 240 may have been an exception to the rule. They also have a reputation for durability. And Toyota is known for it’s durability and high wuality, but my dad’s Camry is an absolute dumpster fire as far as quality goes. Don’t generalize things because you had a bad expierence with one.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Spridget
06/05/2016 at 14:28

We’ve had 4 Volvos lol. They all were shit. I’m not generalising because of one.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap
06/05/2016 at 14:28

Does your 4Runner have AC? If not, it still works as well as a Volvo 240's functioning AC.

Amoore100 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 14:29

Ewwwwww the D24t is awful. PRV might have been worse though, so I'm glad we stuck with redblocks.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 14:30

It works really well except I don’t use it.

Spridget > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 14:33

I don't see the other 2,799,998 Volvo 240 owners complaining.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Spridget
06/05/2016 at 14:37

Because most of them bought them as an appliance. It was the Camry, until people realized they could get a drama free boring car in the Camry. My point is, it’s not an enthusiast car. It’s a terrible car. It’s a slower, beiger Camry, that will break down often.

Spridget > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 14:48

Well, what determines an enthusiast car in your mind? Most people bought VW Beetles as boring, reliable appliances. Beetles are slow, outdated, poor handling, uncomfortable, have no A/C? Does that eliminate the entire VW enthusiast community?

Your boy, BJR > Spridget
06/05/2016 at 14:50

It should. That beetle was a genuinely awful car in every conceiveable way.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Spridget
06/05/2016 at 14:50

Because they are exciting in a terrible way. The 240 is just a car. A boring as shit car. In a VW, there is always that sense of “I’m going to die if I crash” excitement.

Spridget > Your boy, BJR
06/05/2016 at 14:51

Righttttt and a 2004 Cadillac DeVille is the height of automotive quality and modernity.

Your boy, BJR > Spridget
06/05/2016 at 14:55

Damn Daniel you SALTY

Spridget > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 15:04

That depends on how you define boring as shit. To me, the 240 is like nothing else on the road. It stands out when conpared to other cars. When I see a 240 on the road, it stands out when compared to other ‘80's cars. Barring a Delorean, a Countach, other supercars, the Beetle, and Citroens I can’t think of a car from the same time period as the 240 with more distinctive styling.

Spridget > Your boy, BJR
06/05/2016 at 15:04

Damn Daniel you have no comebacks.

Flies With Thunderbirds > Spridget
06/05/2016 at 15:11

And insulting someone’s car is a solid comeback?

Your boy, BJR > Flies With Thunderbirds
06/05/2016 at 15:15

A car that 1) I don't even own 2) never acted like it was anything other that a big dumb fun car to own

Your boy, BJR > Spridget
06/05/2016 at 15:16

Why are you so mad tho?

Dusty Ventures > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 15:17

I’m with spridget. I have nine friends with 240s (rally folk love 240s). In five years and probably about 400,000 miles only two of them have had significant breakdowns.

Spridget > Flies With Thunderbirds
06/05/2016 at 15:18

Uhhh did you read his first comment? He described the Beetle as “genuinely awful” when I called Jordan out. Instead of bringing up my argument and trying to find flaws in, he chose to be a hypocrite and insulted the car I used in my argument. I pointed out his hypocrisy by using his car as an example, and his only comeback was to call me salty. While he may like Cadillacs, which I have no problem with, you don’t insult someone else’s car. That’s my key point here: when you boil it down, all of the cars mentioned here are shit, so don’t insult and disparage someone else’s. The Midget that gave me my screen name is owned by a family friend and is sitting in a barn with no grille and top. I know that cars are shit better than anyone.

Spridget > Your boy, BJR
06/05/2016 at 15:21

I’m pretty tired of the Jalop/Oppo automotive hypocrisy, which is evidenced by some of my past posts. People love to diss other people’s cars so they can feel superior about their own on this site (see: stance)

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Spridget
06/05/2016 at 15:22

It’s a box... It’s not distinctive. It’s like any other boxy, 1980's shit box when it comes to styling.

Spridget > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 15:27

It’s styling stands out to me though, and it probably stands out to the people who own 240s, but that’s just my opinion. You may think differently, but that’s just your opinion. However, insulting a car and calling it’s owners poseurs who only claim to like the car because they’re hipsters is just rude. This is partially my fault; I should’ve ignored your post and let it be a buried.

LongbowMkII > Your boy, BJR
06/05/2016 at 15:31

That comment is a grain compared to the pile the OP offers.

LongbowMkII > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 15:33

And 4runners are owned only by people who cant afford land cruisers, what’s your point?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > LongbowMkII
06/05/2016 at 15:35

Not really, no. Way different classes of vehicles. Land Cruiser sales kind of prove that. They are a specific oddity. I have no need for the capability of a Land Cruiser. If I really wanted/needed one, I would have sold my 4Runner and bought a decent cruiser, instead of keeping my 4Runner and buying a second new car. But nice shitty comparison.

LongbowMkII > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 15:43

As is comparing a 240 to an E30 but here we are.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > LongbowMkII
06/05/2016 at 15:54

European compact RWD coupe, sedan, wagon. Available 6 cylinder, base 4 cylinder. But I wasn’t comparing them, those were examples of better things to buy. Basically any RWD CAR in that price range would be a better choice, besides American barges. Miata, 944, 924, E21, Celica, MR2, etc. All better choices as a fun car.

LongbowMkII > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 16:06

Who cares if they’re better? We’re not professional racers. The best thing about custom cars is the spark of insanity. People take these boring shit boxes and make them do awesome things. Especially American barges.

Fun comes in all shapes and sizes.

Your boy, BJR > Spridget
06/05/2016 at 17:49

There’s no hypocracy here. I hate most cars, and all car people.

kanadanmajava1 > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 18:07

240 is still pretty popular rally car in Europe. Especially in Sweden. In certain rallycross classes most cars are based on 240 Volvo parts even though they might carry a different body. You can get ridiculous amount of go fast parts for these. They aren’t as nimble as Escort or Starlets but that doesn’t slow them much.

Kinja'd!!!

Your boy, BJR > LongbowMkII
06/05/2016 at 18:52

Yeah but he's right. The Volvo 240 IS a bad car.

LongbowMkII > Your boy, BJR
06/05/2016 at 18:53

So are most of the cars owned by Oppo. Who cares?

Your boy, BJR > LongbowMkII
06/05/2016 at 18:55

I do. Because it’s a shitty car. And should be crushed. Like I crushed my ‘73 New Class. Crush all of the euroboxes

Camshaft Chris: Skyline/McLaren/Porsche Fanboy > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 19:55

“Buy an E30, W123"

Because those are most definitely models of reliability... (sarcasm, for those that didn’t catch it)

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Camshaft Chris: Skyline/McLaren/Porsche Fanboy
06/05/2016 at 20:00

W123's are incredibly reliable, at least in diesel form. And the E30 is fun, unlike the 240.

Spridget > Your boy, BJR
06/05/2016 at 23:01

Fair, enough but at least respect others cars instead of dissing them on a public forum (see: “I do. Because it’s a shitty car. And should be crushed.”)

Spridget > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/05/2016 at 23:03

Shits on Volvo reliability-> recommends a 944 over it.

Your boy, BJR > Spridget
06/05/2016 at 23:04

Hahaha no

Spridget > Your boy, BJR
06/05/2016 at 23:06

Well, you do you. I’m not going to diss your love of luxobarges even though they aren’t my favorite cars because a) you like them and b) it’s really hard not to like a barge.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Spridget
06/06/2016 at 06:42

Once again, the point has flown way the fuck over your head. As a fun car, the Volvo 240 sucks. Also, as long as you keep up with maintenance, the 944 won’t really be any worse.

Spridget > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/06/2016 at 07:39

Once again, you’re too busy pulling facts out of your ass to actually read my argument. The Volvo 240 isn’t fun because of it’s factory specs or top speed; it’s fun because owners and enthuaists enjoy it and it means something to them. And if you keep up with maintainence on the 240, it should be fairly reliable.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Spridget
06/06/2016 at 07:49

We did on two of ours, it broke at least bi monthly, if not weekly. This isn’t pulling facts out of my ass, or even the internet. This is coming from experience. You can polish a turd, but at the end of the day, it’s still a turd.

Flies With Thunderbirds > Spridget
06/06/2016 at 19:00

The beetle is genuinely awful.

Spridget > Flies With Thunderbirds
06/06/2016 at 21:03

Did you read anything I said about respecting others car and the people around them?

Spridget > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
06/06/2016 at 21:07

Your personal bad expierence doesn’t mean that all 240's are unreliable clunkers and their owners are hipsters who live in denial. Just because you had a shitty time with one doesn’t mean you after to ruin other peoples good experiences. Just move on and don’t buy one for yourself, and let 240 enthusiasts enjoy themeselves.