A hearty Eff-You to whoever designed ...

"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher) 04/15/2016 at 13:47 • Filed to: Rants

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I’m at work, so I can’t use the language I’d like to use, but let me just extend a hearty Eff-You to whoever designed he back seat of GMT-800 crew cab trucks. The back seat folds by first folding the bottom forward, which then releases the back to fold down. This is fine and dandy, unless you have to put in or take out a forward facing car seat. Then it becomes a jig-saw puzzle from hell.

So here’s the process for removing a forward facing car seat:

Step 1- Unlatch the bottom of the car seat. If the car seat is on the driver’s side, this means fishing the lap belt out of the seat, because for some unknown/unknowable reason the LATCH system is on the passenger side, and the middle, but not on the driver’s side.

Step 2- Lift up the car seat with one hand as high as you can, attempt to fold down the back

Step 3- Realize you forgot to raise the headrest that the top tether is fed through, set seat back down, raise headrest.

Step 4- Lift car seat back up as high as you can with one hand, fold seat back down with your other hand, and then attempt to reach down and unlatch the top tether.

Step 5- Because you have normal adult size arms, and not little bird arms (yeah, I know that’s not a real thing, don’t be so pedantic), lift seat even higher, so you can fold the back down farther.

Step 6- Realize you need more slack on the top tether. Continue holding seat up (f*** this thing is heavy!), yank on tether as hard as you can to get more slack.

Step 7- That didn’t work. Contnue holding up the seat with one hand (you must hold it high enough that it actually touches he roof of the truck), press the slack release button on the tether buckle with your other hand, and then yank as hard as you can on the tether with your other other hand to finally get some slack.

Step 8- Fold seat back down enough to get your arm in, get to the tether latch, but realize you need still more slack on the tether, because the latch will only release from the truck’s mounting point if it is pointing straight down.

Step 9- Repeat step 7

Step 10- Unlatch top tether, fish it out from the headrest, resist the urge to throw the car seat across the driveway, because you still need to use it for your smaller child and the damn thing cost $230.

Step 11- Beverage of choice.

Step 12- Write about it on a car blog, tell your wife, “I ain’t care!” when she snickers at the idea of you blogging.

Bad picture is bad.

Slightly better picture is still bad.

So yeah, not a great system. Yamahog, if you should find it in your heart to track down whoever did this and kick them in the crotch, I would be forever grateful.

BigBlock440 > shop-teacher 04/15/2016 at 14:28

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Kid’s staying out of my truck until they’re in a booster seat, I don’t even want to think about trying to stick a car seat in the back of an extended cab. Also, that seat is huge, a forward facing only seat would probably have fit better, but they come with their own set of limitations.

asenna > shop-teacher 04/15/2016 at 14:38

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There are plenty of tie downs in the bed!

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > shop-teacher 04/15/2016 at 14:51

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This is basically the main reason I called off the search for a pickup and updated the Milan. I couldn’t deal with the car seat situation on the half doors and I couldn’t afford the full 4 doors.

shop-teacher > BigBlock440 04/15/2016 at 15:00

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I’d do the same if I had an extended cab.

Yes, that seat is a freaking monster. I didn’t pick it, that one is on my wife ;)

shop-teacher > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 04/15/2016 at 15:03

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That makes a lot of sense. I can’t imagine using car seats in an extended cab.

shop-teacher > asenna 04/15/2016 at 15:04

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Ha! I actually like my kids though :)

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > shop-teacher 04/15/2016 at 15:25

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Only full 4 doors I could afford were 5.4L Ford’s and those are so either or on quality I wasn’t going to gamble on it. I knew a GM 5.3L was good for many high miles.

Also, I know babies R us will let you test fit a car seat at the store if you leave your ID at the service counter...

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > shop-teacher 04/15/2016 at 15:33

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Seriously, WTF? I’ve got an 2002 extended cab GMC and folding the rear seat goes something like this:
1. Grab strap on either side front corner
2. Pull up
3. Seat is folded vertically against the back

shop-teacher > You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much 04/15/2016 at 15:36

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I know, right!! That’s how it works on the new crew cabs, and maybe the GMT-900s as well, but this one is just ... insane!

shop-teacher > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 04/15/2016 at 15:44

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Yeah, I wouldn’t touch an old 5.4, those are no fun to work on.

That’s good to know about the car seat. I was not consulted in picking the seat, if you catch my drift :)

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > shop-teacher 04/15/2016 at 15:52

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Haha clearly. If it’s brand new maybe return it and stop into babies r us. Even if you don’t buy it through them you can test fit.

then again if you actually succeeded I sure as HELL wouldn’t take it out at this point.

shop-teacher > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 04/15/2016 at 16:03

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It’s three years old. I was taking it out and putting it on the other side rear facing for my 1-year old. My 3-1/2 year old now has a harnessed booster seat there, which she’ll sit in for the first time when I pick her up in about an hour and a half. I think she’s going to enjoy the extra 3-4" of leg room she just gained!

Knowing how hard it was to get in there, I’ve been dreading taking it back out!

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > shop-teacher 04/15/2016 at 16:15

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Hahahahahahaha gotcha

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > shop-teacher 04/15/2016 at 16:28

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Your first mistake was assuming that the back seat of a pickup truck is intended for human use.

shop-teacher > If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent 04/15/2016 at 16:30

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It’s a crew cab. Four full doors. It’s essentially a Suburban from the C-pillar forward. Five adults fit quite comfortably in the cab of my truck for long periods of time.