"Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars" (iamkensimon)
04/07/2016 at 12:37 • Filed to: None
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"Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars" (iamkensimon)
04/07/2016 at 12:37 • Filed to: None | 4
| 18 |
Disclaimer: This post contains me ranting about people’s opinions on Oppo. It also contains me ranting and defending Volvo station wagons. More after the jump.
1990s Volvo 940 Turbo wagon
Yesterday I wrote a post about forcing my girlfriend into buying a 1989 Volvo 760 Turbo wagon. The post was shat allllllllllll over by everyone that cared enough to comment on it. First, let’s clear up some of the issues people had.
!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!
Am I trying to get dumped? Nope. In fact, my girfriend and I have been looking at Volvo station wagons for months now. We’ve been dating for over 3 and a half years, and she’s been wanting to have a fun project car for herself. She drove a mutual friend’s Volvo 940 Turbo wagon and decided she wanted one to supplement her 2001 Civic EX slushbox. I’m not getting dumped over this. I plan on keeping her around forever.
On to the Volvo itself. Some of you guys seem to think that her bank account will suffer from buying this and that the car is boring, ugly, and bland. Well, buckle up. I’m about to school you guys on these cars.
The Volvo 200 series, 700 series, and 900 series are all very similar. They share engines. The 700 and 900 series are even pretty much the same car; the difference being trim and marketing. The crown jewel of these cars is the Volvo B230FT engine. Commonly referred to as the Volvo “red block”, it’s an SOHC 2.3L iron block that will hold up to 700whp safely on stock internals (depending on config). Late 80s models had nice beefy conrods, and there was an addition of oil squirters to the block on 90s turbocharged variants. 16 valve heads were added towards the end of the production run as well.
B230FT 8-valve SOHC
Typically stock, these engines produce a healthy for the time 160hp on around 8psi of boost. Official numbers for an early 90s 940 Turbo are 162 hp and 195lbft and around 3300 lbs. A manual boost controller and minor exhaust work will get you to around 250whp without much effort. Still, plenty of scoot for what it is. Not to mention the nice comfort on the highway, room for many dead hookers and pop tarts in the back, fairly decent handling for what they are (yes, there’s aftermarket suspension options), and incredible visibility do to copious amounts of glass around the cabin.
Red blocks are plentiful and VERY simple in construction since they’ve been around from the 1970s onward. In fact, they’re actually still in use in marine and industrial applications via Volvo Penta. Branded as the AQ151 (2.5L stroker 8-valve SOHC) and AQ171 (2.5L stroker with 16-valve DOHC and a forged crank), they provide a nice source for interchangeable parts for the red block family of engines. This makes parts cheap as well.
An NA Penta AQ171
The best part about dealing with red blocks is that most, if not, all of the parts are interchangeable. You bought an NA B230F powered Volvo 240 and want more power? Swap over the ECU and turbo manifold from a B230FT. Plug and play. Boosting your B230FT to insanity and your 8 valve heads have stopped flowing well at the 350hp mark? Swap over to late model 16 valve heads. Turbo too small? Well, grab a turbo off literally any 90s and 2000s Volvo engine. They bolt up and flow beautifully on a B230FT. Shitty manual trans only supporting 180whp? Well, you’re in luck. Grab a bell housing from a ford thunderbird, literally any T5 manual trans, and it’ll bolt up. The drive trains in these cars are legos.
If you still think that these cars are boring, ugly, and bland.... rub salt in your eyes. I don’t expect you guys to love these Volvos. I just expect you to accept that I and other people like them. Oppo is supposed to be a place for acceptance and appreciation of cars that wouldn’t necessarily be loved by the rest of the enthusiast community. We like Citroens and Land Rovers and Porsche 944 Turbos with 506,000 miles. This is the kind of junk I expect to see on here. I REFUSE to let “crappy” car acceptance on Oppo die.
DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 12:41 |
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-furious clapping-
You deserve an 850 R for all of your trouble.
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 12:41 |
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Fuck what anyone says. Do what you want.
I was skeptical of Volvos until I drove my buddy’s $300 V70. I’ve been looking for one ever since.
They are cheap and reliable car that can haul a lot of stuff.
These things can be had with a turbo and a stick too and can be modded to be quick if desired.
Those who know what these classic Volvos are capable of hang on to them and it’s extremely hard to find one of these with low mileage.
Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 12:43 |
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You just made it seem that you were trying to convince your girlfriend to take this as a daily driver. It’s totally different that you two were looking for a project, but you didn’t explain that.
Steve in Manhattan
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 12:43 |
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I have always loved these cars. And I think many of us were joking with you .... Perhaps unsuccessfully.
djmt1
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 12:45 |
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I missed yet another Oppo Shitshow™ so could you provide some context on the whole “forced” part because that is an odd choice of words.
iSureWilll
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 12:45 |
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I thought everyone was just giving you a hard time but they liked your choice. *shrugs* Keep the outside stock and build a 700whp 760 wagon. :)
CalzoneGolem
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 12:46 |
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I didn’t believe you so I went back and read the other post. Dafuq Oppo? I thought we all loved these things.
Reigntastic
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 12:47 |
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I love old Volvos, just like I love most cars. I feel that embracing the unique is what initially drew me to OppositeLock , as there’s very little idiotic brand loyalty bickering here. I’ve always felt it’s just like the island of misfit toys.
I’d be honored to drive a turbo brick one day.
TheHondaBro
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 12:51 |
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My post about seat covers got shat on by people who don’t like seat covers.
HammerheadFistpunch
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 12:52 |
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Counterpoint: Your title was worse than vague and bordered on creepy, you provided no context and issued a challenge to the community to “stop you” then you got seriously un-excellent to people really fast. I’m not saying there is a right and wrong to this story but I am saying there are two sides to it.
ShelbyRacer78-Fusion Modifier
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 12:52 |
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Those bricks use the same wheel bolt pattern as my Sable.
Chris
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 13:04 |
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Not to bash you, but as a connoisseur of about 8 volvos, ID have to say that you’d be hard pressed to get 250whp on a stock turbo, and even the best 8v’s(1993+ thick rod turbo squirter block) can hardly get to 300whp on stock internals, even with all the cam and huge turbo you can throw at it. Does this make it any less fun? Absolutely not. I made 301rwhp on a ported stock manifold, holset@23psi, an RSI stage 3 cam, stock auto with a DIY shift kit and cooler, stock ECU with Mike’s chips. Very very fun cars.
Should have got a 90+, as they have a bigger turbo, better flowing exhaust manifold, better ECU(lh2.4 vs. The anemic and not-very-moddable lh2.2 your wagon has), and thicker rods. You’re more or less limited to 240whp on a thin rod, non squirter block before the koolaid man visits.
BigBlock440
> djmt1
04/07/2016 at 13:06 |
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Unless there was a lot of dismissals, there was no shitshow.
Hoccy
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 13:07 |
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It’s a reason why they’ve been the favorite first car for 80 % Norwegians for about 20 years now, and keeps gaining new fans. I think all my childhood friends have had a Volvo at some point.
I wouldn’t recommend to go straight for the higher boost and 3'’ exhaust though, always better to feel comfortable with 130-160 hp first. And even if they get mindblowingly quick, they also get quite thirsty after these mods.
crowmolly
> Chris
04/07/2016 at 13:14 |
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before the koolaid man visits.
I LOL’d. This is great.
DasWauto
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 13:56 |
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While I appreciate the lesson about Volvos, that wasn’t the issue with your post yesterday, it was you saying that you were forcing your GF to buy it and that no-one could stop you. If you had worded it differently and more thoroughly explained as you did here, there would never have been an issue, nor the need for this post to clarify it.
Don’t sweat it too much, just try be clearer next time to avoid a repeat.
MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
> Ken has Terrible Luck with Bland Cars
04/07/2016 at 14:24 |
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Because I think I’m one of the people your listing as being against this idea, I’d like to take a moment to explain my post on the original article.
My initial comment was
“If you don’t like your girlfriend, you can dump her you don’t have to make her bank account suffer.”
Because you got into the “intent” of your comments in your original post with others, I will here, my post was intended in a joking manner. If you haven’t interacted with me on OPPO before, I joke around quite a bit.
A few points to consider:
Firstly and most importantly: Using the word “Forcing” is not cool or funny when it applies to the women in our lives.
You never said initially that it was to be a secondary project car and that she had something reliable to drive while you were repairing/tinkering with it.
The car has been sitting for over a year it needs a shit load of work because of that and the engine it came with doesn’t matter when a car has sat that long. Is it seized? Who knows. Maybe the block has even cracked.
I have no prior knowledge of your mechanical know how and whether you knew what you were getting into until you mentioned you had a 500k miles Porsche 944 (for which you’re a mad man for owning if I may add)
I have weird cars no one likes or would seek out on OPPO. Have you ever seen someone on here excited about a Mercury Milan or a Jeep Commander? If I posted that I was buying a Milan you’d probably have some negative comments to share.
The final comment I made on that post was: “Well everyone’s freaking out because we thought it was for daily driver duties, you said below it’s a project so you’re good, I wouldn’t have even jumped in if I knew it was just a project.” Every person you actually told that it was a project car too all went oh, ok, that’s cool then.
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MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
> BigBlock440
04/07/2016 at 15:10 |
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This is turning into one though.