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"Swayze Train GTi" (swayzetrain)
02/28/2016 at 00:39 • Filed to: None

Alright that’s enough music, how about some actual car stuff? Anyways here’s a list of questions I have about the Chevrolet Equinox:

Who put the all the radio and HVAC controls so far away that I have to lean forward, and why are they angled such that I am pushing down? Why does a car with 40k miles have a faulty fuel gauge? Why did the first gen only come with a V6? Why does it get gas mileage similar to a cruise ship? Why does it have a sport button? Why does it have an Eco button? Why does it hurt when I pee? Why hasn’t anyone at GM apparently ever read On A Clear Day You Can See General Motors? Why did GM get rid of their beautifully simple signal stalk based cruise control? Why is there a sport model? Why was there an Olympic-themed “Podium Edition” for a car that won’t win anything more than a participation prize? Why did GM give such a bland car such a good name? Will GM ever make a good small SUV?

DISCUSSION (12)

sonicgabe > Swayze Train GTi
02/28/2016 at 00:49

To answer all of your questions... I don't know.

Birddog > Swayze Train GTi
02/28/2016 at 01:05

GM made plenty of good small SUVs. They forced Suzuki to build them and nobody bought any of them. So to answer all of your questions. No.

Swayze Train GTi > Birddog
02/28/2016 at 01:25

Uh well. That can answer at most one. I think no one bought the Suzuki ones because, while they were reliable and probably good off road, they were also very very ugly.

Zibodiz > Swayze Train GTi
02/28/2016 at 01:29

You have short arms. It’s a GM. It’s a GM. They’re embarrassed that it’s a GM. They’re hoping you assume it means they’re Prius-killers. You have glaucoma*. Reading is boring. Simple is, like, so 2005. Don’t you wish you had the sport model? Hey, it’s better than the depressing LeMans, Sebring, or Datona. Focus groups didn’t like the name ‘bloatedboringstationwagon’. The Tracker was a fantastic little SUV, TYVM.

*It’s a rare symptom of glaucoma.

Birddog > Swayze Train GTi
02/28/2016 at 01:41

I don’t know. The Sidekick wasn’t as bad as a Juke.. How ugly can a Square on top of a rectangle with wheels be? Jeep has had some unbelievable success with it as has Land Rover.

gergey - Wishes vette was Datsun > Swayze Train GTi
02/28/2016 at 01:55

My 2005 GMC Jimmy is an excellent small* SUV, body on frame, 4x4, available in manual. Has air conditioning, a sun roof that only leaks when the wind is north-northeast, a stereo that picks up all the local radio stations, and TWO cupholders.

*Yes, I know that it wasn’t a small SUV back in the day, but compared to some of the behemoths around these days, it’s pretty damn tiny.

Swayze Train GTi > Zibodiz
02/28/2016 at 01:57

These are all good answers.

Except I don’t have short arms