"Jcarr" (jcarr)
02/11/2016 at 09:22 • Filed to: Spotted
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"Jcarr" (jcarr)
02/11/2016 at 09:22 • Filed to: Spotted | 2
| 10 |
Oppo, let me paint you a picture. A portrait of a Simple Man™ who likes his women young, his flags secessionary, and his ‘Murican SUVs crappy.
I often find myself in morning traffic with this fella. We share a commute for a good 5 miles. Me in my Jetta, he in his base model Dodge Nitro.
Sorry for the uber-crappy potato pic, but apparently this dude is too cool for stop signs. He slowed to maybe 10mph before rolling on through, thus dashing my hopes of getting a clear shot.
Let me describe this gentleman and his chariot. Mr. Classy is white and looks to be in his early-mid 50s. You could say that his neck appears to be the same color as a nice, cold can of Schmidt.
His Nitro is adorned with a wonderful amount of AutoZone fake chrome and some delightful bumper stickers, which are outlined below:
Just under the high-mount light is the obligatory Skynyrd sticker.
To the left on the glass is the silhouette of a young woman bending over, accompanied by the phrase “Dodge the father, ram the daughter.”
To the right on the glass is another silhouette of a young woman, this time sitting down as if to say “Come hither, you sexy racist.”
Along the bumper we have 5 stickers. Three of them are Confederate flags (this guy lives in Iowa...). The other two are—you guessed it—female silhouettes. This time they’re accompanied by the highly dubious claim that “She likes me for my Nitro”.
I salute you, Simple Man. Here’s hoping your charming bumper stickers attract plenty of help when your Nitro eventually strands you on the side of the road.
CalzoneGolem
> Jcarr
02/11/2016 at 09:30 |
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Obligatory:
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Jcarr
> CalzoneGolem
02/11/2016 at 09:35 |
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It’s a shame. I really do like Skynyrd. Got to see [what was left] of them back in 2005.
Chasaboo
> Jcarr
02/11/2016 at 09:37 |
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Never been to Iowa. Don’t plan on it either.
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CalzoneGolem
> Jcarr
02/11/2016 at 09:39 |
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How was that? I think I saw Steve Miller around the same time.
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Jcarr
> Chasaboo
02/11/2016 at 09:39 |
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It’s really a great place. Don’t knock it until you try it.
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Jcarr
> CalzoneGolem
02/11/2016 at 09:42 |
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It was really great actually. Johnny is no Ronnie, but he did a pretty good job. They played at a county fair here in Iowa, with the stage out on the infield of a dirt track. Wish I could have seen them in their prime, but most of them were dead before I was even born.
Ash78, voting early and often
> Jcarr
02/11/2016 at 09:50 |
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Mama told me when I was young, go buy a Nitro and some fun. Now listen closely to what I say. And since you want a Jeep just get a rebadged KJ.
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Jcarr
> Ash78, voting early and often
02/11/2016 at 09:55 |
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This is good Kinja.
Takuro Spirit
> Chasaboo
02/11/2016 at 10:58 |
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I visited the Field Of Dreams movie site once. That’s about all there is to do there I guess.
thebigbossyboss
> Jcarr
02/11/2016 at 14:03 |
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https://www.youtube.com/results?search…