"wiffleballtony" (wiffleballtony)
12/25/2016 at 21:40 • Filed to: None
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"wiffleballtony" (wiffleballtony)
12/25/2016 at 21:40 • Filed to: None | 4
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H-AUDI.
Nibby
> wiffleballtony
12/25/2016 at 21:47 |
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jimz
> wiffleballtony
12/25/2016 at 21:53 |
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Svend
> wiffleballtony
12/25/2016 at 21:56 |
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Why was the snowman looking through the carrots?
He was picking his nose.
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Svend
> wiffleballtony
12/25/2016 at 21:59 |
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Obama, Hillary and Trump
Obama, Hillary and Trump are standing at the throne of heaven. God looks at them and says, “Before granting you a place at my side I must ask you what you have learned, what you believe in.”
God asks Obama first: “What do you believe?”
He thinks long and hard, looks God in the eye, and says, “I believe in hard work, and in staying true to family and friends. I believe in giving. I was lucky, but I always tried to do right by my countrymen”.
God can’t help but see the essential goodness of Obama , and offers him a seat to his left.
Then God turns to Hillary and says, “What do you believe?”
Hillary says, “I believe passion, discipline, courage and honor are the fundamentals of life. Like Obama I believe in hard work. I, too, have been lucky, but win or lose, I’ve always tried to be a true patriot and a loyal American.”
God is greatly moved by Hillary’s high-pitched eloquence, and he offers her a seat to his right.
Finally, God turns to Trump and says, “And you, Donald, what do you believe?”
Trump replies, “I believe you’re in my seat.”
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Svend
> wiffleballtony
12/25/2016 at 22:15 |
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A woman driving along at speed passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait. The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk & asked, ‘What’s your hurry?’
She replied, ‘I’m late for work.’
‘Oh yeah,’ said the cop, ‘what do you do?’
‘I’m a Rectum Stretcher,’ she responded.
The cop stammered, ‘A what?
‘A Rectum Stretcher!’
‘And just what does a rectum stretcher do?’
‘Well,’ she said, ‘I start by inserting one finger in the rectum, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it’s about 6 feet’
‘And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot ar**h**e?’ he asked
‘You give him a radar gun & park him behind a bridge...’