If You Drink and Drive, Seriously Fuck You

Kinja'd!!! "Go Hawkeyes" (joehawkeye)
12/20/2016 at 08:20 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!10 Kinja'd!!! 29
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2008 Dakota Laramie with only 59000 miles.

So you may recall a !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! by me a few weeks ago by me about an old dude who hit my wife’s car. Well my luck of bad Missouri drivers continues.

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Cattle guards do quite the number on doors.

Last Wednesday I met my wife at a local watering hole for our weekly bar trivia, where we always lose because we’re not that pop-culture smart. Anyway, we do it responsibly; we alternate weeks on who gets to drink and who is driving. Unfortunately the idiot who hit my truck didn’t play by the same rules.

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I don’t think it’ll buff out.

This was initially a hit and run. He hit my truck, which pushed me into another car, and then took off. He only made it 3 blocks though before he hit 2 more parked cars as well as a moving police car. Thankfully there were no injuries among the sober. The drunk guy bashed up his face pretty good I guess because his airbag deployed when he hit my truck and therefore didn’t have an airbag there to deploy when he hit the cop car head on. Think he learns his lesson? Probably not.

Turns out the guy is from out of town and is was a construction worker in town working on an expansion at the company where I work. He was driving a company truck. He’s now unemployed and facing multiple hit and runs, resisting arrest, operating while intoxicated, and assaulting an officer (he took a swing at one). Likely some other charges too.

Waiting on the final word from insurance but the body shop said it’s likely going to be totaled. I like having a truck for when I need to run to Home Depot to get something for the house, or make a run to the dump. But other than that I don’t have a real need for a truck. So I really don’t want/need a full size. So I’ve settled on getting a 2017 Canyon Denali. My wife works for a company that also owns a few dealerships so we’ll get employee pricing. They have a Canyon Denali coming in next week. So I’ll be sure to post again once I get to show it off.


DISCUSSION (29)


Kinja'd!!! theloudmouth > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 08:22

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Just glad you and your wife were both okay after these two idiots put you at such risk.


Kinja'd!!! Svend > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 08:34

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How can anyone think in this day and age drink driving is a good idea, let alone even an idea.

I’m glad to hear at least you and your wife are okay.


Kinja'd!!! 404 - User No Longer Available > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 09:11

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Along with texting and driving, if I ran a country, these offenses are punishable by sterilization.

Because unfortunately natural selection has too much side effects here.


Kinja'd!!! shop-teacher > Svend
12/20/2016 at 09:20

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I recently found out a guy who I used to call a friend has been drinking and driving regularly. Scares the shit out of me, he lives less than a mile from my house. He jacked up his car blowing through a stop sign, probably doing 50 in a 25, a few blocks from my house. Fortunately he won’t be around for long, his wife (she is our real friend, we knew her first) is divorcing him and they’re selling the house.


Kinja'd!!! shop-teacher > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 09:21

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I’m glad the guy got himself caught and that everybody is OK. Those Canyon Denalis look seriously nice. I expect a full review!


Kinja'd!!! ttyymmnn > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 09:31

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Well, that is indeed unfortunate. I’m glad you and your wife are unhurt. I lost my 01 Golf back in March when a drunk hit it while it was parked on the street in front of my house. Drunk drivers think of nobody but themselves, but anybody who gets that hammered and drives probably has a world of other problems.


Kinja'd!!! Svend > shop-teacher
12/20/2016 at 09:42

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Hopefully he’ll learn but undoubtedly he’ll drink more and drive more and blame her for divorcing him for it to his remaining if any friends.

People like that, it’s always someone elses fault.


Kinja'd!!! MonkeePuzzle > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 09:46

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He only made it 3 blocks though before he hit 2 more parked cars as well as a moving police car.

ok... but how do you know he was drunk? :P

just... WOW!


Kinja'd!!! shop-teacher > Svend
12/20/2016 at 09:53

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That’s already started, the blame and more drinking. By in large their circle of friends is on his side, they’re all drinking buddies. Bunch of drunken losers, the lot of them.


Kinja'd!!! Censored > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 10:04

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What part of MO are you in so I know where to avoid. Sheesh, a bad run of luck. There may be other areas with worse traffic and worse roads, but the drivers in MO/IL STL area put up a very good fight for bottom of the basement.


Kinja'd!!! E92M3 > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 10:08

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Wait? You alternate weeks on who gets to drink at trivia? That sounds awful.. Why not just take an Uber? I’d rather only go every two weeks, if the cost of an Uber was a concern. Drinking was designed to be a team activity.


Kinja'd!!! JQJ213- Now With An Extra Cylinder! > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 10:08

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As someone who has lost a few close people to idiots who were drunk driving, I agree 100%

Glad you guys are all okay


Kinja'd!!! Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 10:18

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I think the crazier part is how many people just get away with drunk driving with no consequences. I have talked to plenty of people who were falling over on the floor drunk and yet they had just driven to their current location somehow. It just seems like people do not care at all.


Kinja'd!!! Svend > shop-teacher
12/20/2016 at 10:25

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Ye’, they tend to hang out together because there aren’t many other people who see stuff the a-hole way they do.

I hope there’s no kids involved because e’ll be at them constantly saying it’s her fault (like my dad did).


Kinja'd!!! arl > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 10:35

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Glad you and your wife are ok. Stupid drunk drivers.


Kinja'd!!! Go Hawkeyes > Censored
12/20/2016 at 10:44

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North of KC. But the entire state is worth avoiding, for a multitude of reasons.


Kinja'd!!! Go Hawkeyes > E92M3
12/20/2016 at 10:46

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As soon as Uber starts operating here I’ll most certainly do it that way. Which should be soon as they’ve been advertising for local drivers.

We are on a team with 2 other couples so it’s not just one drunk and one sober person. One couple lives a few blocks away so they just walk and the other alternates drinkers like we do.


Kinja'd!!! Chasaboo > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 10:48

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Isn’t Missouri like second to Florida for dillholes?


Kinja'd!!! Nothing > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 10:56

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Wow. Glad you and your wife are ok. That sucks about your truck. Nice choice on the replacement, though!


Kinja'd!!! bwp240 > Go Hawkeyes
12/20/2016 at 11:25

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MODOT, putting the rumble strips in the road since 1896.


Kinja'd!!! shop-teacher > Svend
12/20/2016 at 11:40

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Yep, the losers tend to congregate.

Fortunately there are no kids involved.


Kinja'd!!! DynamicWeight > Svend
12/20/2016 at 12:19

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Fix public transportation and you fix drinking and driving. In my area you either drink and drive or add a 50-60 uber/lyft tax to every night you want to go out.


Kinja'd!!! Svend > DynamicWeight
12/20/2016 at 12:44

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Drinking and driving is never on option. NEVER. There is no excuse, there just isn’t.

If you want to drink and get into a car and have an accident and hurt or kill yourself that’s fine but what about the other road users and pedestrians that want to get to work or go home who want to live their lives without the threat of some self absorbed idiot who wants to make getting home a game of chance.

If you want to drink several miles away from home then you either man up and pay the taxi/uber/lyft (or whatever the hell they’ll come out next with that’s a taxi only by a different name), get a ride home from someone and cough up a few bucks for fuel, stay at a friends, stop at a B&B or hotel or moving your waterhole to somewhere closer to home.

But, ‘ye’, I’m really sorry I hit your car, I wanted to drink but ubers are so expensive’, will never wash.

By all accounts the public transport system in the U.S. is almost non existent in some places but you knew that going in. It’s not like it suddenly stopped last year and everyone is like, ‘well, shit, now what?’.

You can either complain about public transport or cough up the taxes to pay for it and also motivate others into being more vocal to local government into some action. I guarantee there are many more complainers than people willing to pay for it and say the government should pay for it but not at the cost to them.

I live in a very rural county that has buses that go out to villages and some towns to help keep the small communities connected and they are always going out of business or reducing the number of services from lack of customers using the service, and that’s in a very rural area of England where we’ve a very good idea on how public services work.


Kinja'd!!! DynamicWeight > Svend
12/20/2016 at 12:52

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I am not defending drinking and driving, I am suggesting a better course of action for stopping it. You know what doesn’t work, for anything?? Telling people what to do. No one listens, full stop. It doesn’t matter what clever idea you have or what good reasons you have, no one ever cares. The way to change behavior is to change available options. If you are really concerned about drunk driving you can scream yourself blue in the face at people and accomplish nothing, or you can advocate for reasonable options that people can choose.

If the services aren’t working, they aren’t better options. Basically, you haven’t done good enough. Remember, I’m not talking about right and wrong, I’m talking about practicality. You can be right all you want, it doesn’t bring back this guys truck or all the people who have died. But smart city planning could reduce these problems.


Kinja'd!!! Svend > DynamicWeight
12/20/2016 at 12:59

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Then people need to get onto the planning departments and say, ‘hey, give us a viable alternative that isn’t going to heavily penalise us for wanting to go out’.

There are still alternatives such as why doesn’t someone set a designated driver, or have a partner who is not going out but is prepared to act as the group taxi for the evening.

Public transport is only the part of it.


Kinja'd!!! DynamicWeight > Svend
12/20/2016 at 13:51

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Yes, there are those alternatives. But those alternatives make less sense with bad city planning. For instance, I live in a very dense area, the Bay Area in California. Everyone I go out with lives 20 minutes away from me (and they all live 20 minutes away from each other). So if I wanted to play Taxi, it would take me an hour to go grab everyone and an hour to drop them off. Or everyone could take Ubers and add $200 to the group’s total or one person from each couple could be DD and half the people drink and half don’t.

All of those options suck. I make due with those options because I don’t want to kill people, but to expect that of other people is absurd. People are lazy. Saying that “those people need to get on the planning board” is equally absurd. They don’t care. You can’t make them care. You can’t make them do anything. Sine you care, you have to be the one to fix things. It’s not fair. It’s not right. It’s just the way it is.


Kinja'd!!! PotbellyJoe and 42 others > Go Hawkeyes
12/21/2016 at 12:01

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Clearly, they’re just practicing their Indepence; in that, they were practicing for when they visit Independence.

NJ has its share of drunk drivers, but more often than not they are out at hours I tend to stay off of the road (all of the hours basically, I drove 140 miles last month if you take out my drive to and from MA)

I find it more of an issue when I go back to visit friends in MI, KS and IL where there aren’t as many cabs and there seems to be a higher tolerance of it, which boggles my mind.


Kinja'd!!! Tazio, Count Fouroff > Go Hawkeyes
12/21/2016 at 13:47

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Glad you all are OK! Sorry to read about your truck tho

That dude has a severe drug problem (alcohol), clearly. Guess he’s in unintentional, corrections-mediated, mandatory rehab now lol...luckily, before he irreversibly altered someone else’s life/lives

(Hope you enjoy having them shakes, bro!)


Kinja'd!!! trolllol192 > Go Hawkeyes
07/24/2017 at 23:42

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Wait a second here. A drunk guy driving a company truck hit you, and you aren’t getting 2 new vehicles and a pool? Sue their fucking asses.