Most Effective Anti Drunk Driving Campaign Ever

"someassemblyrequired" (someassemblyrequired)
11/29/2016 at 12:51 • Filed to: None

When they’re not out protecting the Frosty Treat or Mary’s Bake Shop, the good folks of the Kensington, PEI police department are working on exciting new law enforcement strategies. This may be their greatest innovation yet. If they catch you for DUI, they’ll play Nickelback in the cruiser on the way back to the station.

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Full post text:

Kensington Police Drinking and Driving Gift. Christmas Bonus Edition

So, the Holiday Season is upon us and that means more social events, staff parties and alcohol based libations. Now, Because of that fact, it logically means more people need to plan their nights driving duties. To save any problems at the end of the night, know ahead of time who is the Designated Driver. Write down the number to a cab company or plan to stay over at friends. Anything and everything you can do to eliminate the chances of drinking and driving.

Now, with that being said, know that the Kensington Police Service will be out for the remainder of year looking for those dumb enough to feel they can drink and drive. And when we catch you, and we will catch you, on top of a hefty fine, a criminal charge and a years driving suspension we will also provide you with a bonus gift of playing the offices copy of Nickelback in the cruiser on the way to jail.

Now, now, no need to thank us, we figure if you are foolish enough to get behind the wheel after drinking then a little Chad Kroeger and the boys is the perfect gift for you.

So please, lets not ruin a perfectly good unopened copy of Nickelback. You don’t drink and drive and we won’t make you listen to it.

Happy Saturday Everyone!!

DISCUSSION (12)

Stapleface > someassemblyrequired
11/29/2016 at 12:56

On cassette? Where in the hell did they find that?

E90M3 > someassemblyrequired
11/29/2016 at 12:58

There is a time and place for everything, including drunk driving. It’s called GTA V.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > someassemblyrequired
11/29/2016 at 13:00

I’m not one of the NICKLBAK IS TEH WARST EVR OMG bandwagon jumpers, but this is a really compelling troll and likely to get attention.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > someassemblyrequired
11/29/2016 at 13:02

Silver side up is also the best way to listen to a Nickelback CD.

someassemblyrequired > Stapleface
11/29/2016 at 13:08

The bargain bin in the electronics section of the Summerside Wal-Mart is a scary, scary place.

someassemblyrequired > E90M3
11/29/2016 at 13:09

Or My Summer Car

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Stapleface
11/29/2016 at 13:11

Canada, apparently.

someassemblyrequired > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
11/29/2016 at 13:11

Yep definitely gets the message across with a few laughs, so likely to stick in people’s minds.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > someassemblyrequired
11/29/2016 at 13:18

Plus which, it preys on the mind. You imagine “stuck in back of cruiser with Nickelback” as being the most horrible thing in the world even if it wouldn’t be. Which isn’t to say it would be a picnic - I can imagine someone lurching into hangover territory where they’re really sound-sensitive, right between the rear speakers...

RallyWrench > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
11/29/2016 at 13:45

The Nickelback Paradox: When something that sucks is inexplicably popular.

Hey, they are car guys (allegedly), and they’re not Canada’s worst export. That would be that Justen Beebur kid.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > RallyWrench
11/29/2016 at 13:53

I’m thinking for a lot of people it’s right at the “ sucks really well ” level. Enough people that they’re popular beyond public acknowledgement but amusing in their own generic growly derp way.

Anyway, like you said, they don’t make me want to reach for a bat - unlike da Beebs.

RallyWrench > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
11/29/2016 at 14:29

I mean, they don’t suck in the sense of musicianship, they can play their instruments well, unlike some inexplicably popular acts. It’s more an intangible suck, in a bro-music kind of way. Some of it is catchy though. I was once stuck in a borrowed Chevy truck towing a trailer for 4 hours with only a Nickelback CD, and I didn’t die.