I'm driving the new Cruze hatch. Does anyone care?

"cletus44 aka Clayton Seams" (cletus44)
11/21/2016 at 11:10 • Filed to: None

I’m trading in my Civic press car for a Cruze hatchback. One of the most mind-numbingly normal cars I can think of. Does anyone have any interest in this car? Anything you want to know about it? I don’t know what engine/transmission I’ll be getting but I presume it’ll be a stripped out manual transmission model.

DISCUSSION (47)

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:12

Only when they make an SS.

CB > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:13

I’ll care. Because small hatches for the win. How does it handle? Fuel economy? Build quality?

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:15

What emoji would you equate it with? Is it really the mullet of affordable cars? Has Chevy fired their marketers/ad firm yet?

MonkeePuzzle > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:16

I think the cruze is an excelletn car. everything is in the right place. it performs well. it’s just perfectly ok at everything. and making it a hatch can only make it better

Wrong Wheel Drive (41%) > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
11/21/2016 at 11:18

GM needs a hellcat equivalent. And then put that in this.

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow
11/21/2016 at 11:20

Has Audi gotten their stolen headlights back yet?

TheHondaBro > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:20

Are you a real person?

LongbowMkII > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:20

I’m interested. Moderately .

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:21

I don’t have any interest in it other than morbid curiousity on just how practical the rear hatch and storage are. This is because one of GM’s utterly witless “regular people” ads had a bunch of soccer moms cooing over it, but to me it looked like a big, fat, “umm, no.” Shit looks tiny.

punkgoose17 > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:22

Can you see behind with a camera. Is it comfortable? Is it fun? Does it have less cargo space than the Cruz sedan or Civic Sedan?

DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time > TheHondaBro
11/21/2016 at 11:22

Actually none of us are. We’re all.....

AAARRRRGGGGHHH! HELP!!!

wpudvah: GTI, Super Beetle, now with more 80-Series > Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow
11/21/2016 at 11:23

idk, seems like an ideal fit for the “young professional // weekend warrior” that I consider myself to be *fire emoji*

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
11/21/2016 at 11:24

The back half looks like they designed it after a Mazda3 that got rear ended.

DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:24

Meh, not really. I test drove one for shits and gigs. My mom’s ‘09 Camery is more enjoyable to drive.

R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:25

Can you compare it to a FoST ST1?

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > wpudvah: GTI, Super Beetle, now with more 80-Series
11/21/2016 at 11:25

I’d really like to know what this young professional is warrioring against on the weekends.

Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now) > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:25

Is the interior quality good, is it tossible/fun for a cheap hatch?

RyanFrew > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:26

I care. I spend a lot of my life in rental cars. Should I want this one?

RutRut > Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow
11/21/2016 at 11:28

Mediocrity.

bwp240 > CB
11/21/2016 at 11:28

Yes, tell me all the things...

Is it powered by a Cuisinart?

Is the manual shifting more like moving a hot dog in a toaster?

Do I have to remove the wheel to change a headlight?

Can it go plaid?

Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow > RutRut
11/21/2016 at 11:31

#imsuchanindividual

interstate366, now In The Industry > wpudvah: GTI, Super Beetle, now with more 80-Series
11/21/2016 at 11:38

BUSINESS IN THE FRONT PARTY IN THE BACK

Mid Engine > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:40

please, run over the stupid fucking actor in all their commercials with it. The world will be a better place

Cé hé sin > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:42

No.

Transit > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:50

Does it have the hyperventilating cooling fan like my Mom’s Cruze?

nerd_racing > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 11:54

Kinja'd!!!

XJDano > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 12:08

Hatchbacks > sedans

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 12:14

I keep seeing signs for this in the subway and with the shot they use am always left thinking “oh, Subaru’s making the last-gen WRX hatch again.” Is it a last-gen Subaru WRX Hatch?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Chris_K_F drives an FR-Slow
11/21/2016 at 12:27

I think the back looks better than the 3's, and I am very biased against GM.

Wagon, semi manual, not brown, turbo because volvo > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 12:36

FUKKKK YUUUUUUU CHEVROLET!!!!

Wagons and hatchbacks are not mullet in car form, they are the ultimate form of transport.

I do not have to worry about the trunk that you have made impossible to see from the pilot position, where the glass is the car ends close after. There is more space in the vehicle and a big door to put big things in through.

Plus, just fuck you chevy, shut up. The only way you can fix this is to bring back the roadmaster wagon. As a bonus, give it the optional roadwarrior trim package and give it cladding and some lift. Maybe a roof rack basket and jerry can, a swingaway full size spare in the rear. I will leave the engine goodies to others to suggest.

PotbellyJoe and 42 others > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 12:54

If you owned a Pontiac Vibe GT could you see this a reasonable upgrade considering the buyer would be eligible for GMS pricing.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > PotbellyJoe and 42 others
11/21/2016 at 15:56

Nah, the Vibes have those cool Toyota engines and you can actually hustle them. This thing is as fun as celery.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
11/21/2016 at 15:56

It’s tiny. And the hatch opening is tiny as well

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > CB
11/21/2016 at 15:57

Build quality is great. What they built was not great.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer
11/21/2016 at 15:57

They make an RS?

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > TheHondaBro
11/21/2016 at 15:57

Nope.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > MonkeePuzzle
11/21/2016 at 15:57

It is, however, very dull.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > punkgoose17
11/21/2016 at 15:58

It is way more comfy than a Civic. It is mind-numbingly boring.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > DC3 LS, will be perpetually replacing cars until the end of time
11/21/2016 at 15:58

Nailed it.

TheHondaBro > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 15:58

ONLY REAL PEOPLE CAN DRIVE THE NEW CRUZE YAAAAAS EMOJI EMOJI NOT ACTORS

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > RyanFrew
11/21/2016 at 15:58

Only if it’s the only non-Avenger option.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > Bman76 (hates WS6 hoods, is on his phone and has 4 burners now)
11/21/2016 at 15:59

Quality is fine. The fun factor is 100% missing.

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > R Saldana [|Oo|======|oO|] - BTC/ETH/LTC Prophet
11/21/2016 at 15:59

Not really a fair fight, is it?

MonkeePuzzle > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 16:00

yes, not exciting. just, an all around suitable acceptable good at being a car type car

PotbellyJoe and 42 others > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 16:02

Well, mine is the 2009, so it’s the 2.4L Camry motor and a 5-speed, so “hustle” is relative. It’s respectable, but far from a hot hatch.

I’d be more interested in the diesel hatch anyways, as diesel is cheaper than unleaded in my state.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 16:06

If it’s the same as the last generation that just means slightly tweaked suspension and a different final drive ratio.

Chasaboo > cletus44 aka Clayton Seams
11/21/2016 at 17:34

I know people who hate the Honda Fit get the Chevy Cruze.

LOL I guess that’s not saying a lot but it’s true.