Pictured: 48 bags of miserable drudgery. 

"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher) 11/13/2016 at 17:44 • Filed to: Grouchy old man

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Everyone who opines endlessly about how great Fall is can STFU. Fall sucks. Everything is dying, 40 degrees F feels cold, racetracks shut down, and then there’s all the damn leaves. My yard is less than 1/4 acre and the leaves aren’t all down yet.

Spring > Fall

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 17:48

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I have a large compost pile under some canopy tree I just cart mine to. Seems like a huge waste of time and resources rake them up, bag them, and have them hauled away.

MM54 > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 17:48

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I spent all of the daylight yesterday and a few hours this morning doing the same, so I feel your pain. Still have several huge piles in the back yard, but I’ve run out of room at the curb to pile them (they come around with trucks)

DipodomysDeserti > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 17:49

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Fall for me means it goes from being 110F to 80F. Spring means it goes from 70F to 80F. We don’t have leaves.

shop-teacher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/13/2016 at 17:51

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I don’t have anywhere to put that big of a compost pile. I packed these bags really tightly. If I consolidated all the lead piles into one big pile, it would’ve been the size of a small above ground pool.

shop-teacher > MM54 11/13/2016 at 17:53

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I wish they would do curbside pickup here. I’m on a corner lot, so I could just get a backpack blower and go to town. No dice though, they’ll take them for free, but they have to be bagged.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 17:54

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LongbowMkII > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 17:55

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... why? Leaves never hurt nothin.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 17:56

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The best tool in the world for this is a Snapper Hi-Vac push mower with a Snapperizer. Every year my neighbors have like 20 bags of leaves every time they fall and I’ve got 3 because the mower mulches all of them. You can find them occasionally on Craigslist for about $50.

shop-teacher > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/13/2016 at 17:57

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The only good thing about all these shenanigans.

LongbowMkII > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 17:59

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Your leaves grew a child? QUICK! Put it back before you get attached!

cluelessk > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 17:59

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Get a leaf blower. Our yard has 20 Oak trees which have tons of leaves plus acorns. Leaf blower took so much less time and effort.

shop-teacher > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 11/13/2016 at 18:01

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I bought a Troy-Built leaf vac/chipper last year. I used less bags, but it took more time. I used to have a riding mower with a nagger that I used for leaves, but it clogged constantly and was more trouble than it was worth.

$kaycog > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 18:11

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Doggo loves leaves!

OPPOsaurus WRX > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 18:15

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I did my front yard today. I think I filled the 10*16 tarp 4 times. I did 3 in the back a few weeks ago and u’d never even know. I’m lucky that I can just drag it all out to the woods.

OPPOsaurus WRX > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 18:18

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I wish I took a picture. I put a huge pile at the bottom of the slide and the kids would go down and disappear.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/13/2016 at 18:18

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The doesn’t look deep enough for a soft landing

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > OPPOsaurus WRX 11/13/2016 at 18:20

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Looking back on it, leaf jumping was seldom pleasant. If the pile sat overnight, you would roll out covered in slugs if you jumped in.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/13/2016 at 18:23

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That’s gross. I don’t think we have that problem around here. I only see slugs under rotting fallen trees

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > OPPOsaurus WRX 11/13/2016 at 18:27

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Come to the PNW. Snails an slugs all over your damn lawn and walkways when it rains.

OPPOsaurus WRX > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 11/13/2016 at 18:31

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We get some earthworms but that’s about it that comes out to walking areas.

shop-teacher > LongbowMkII 11/13/2016 at 18:34

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Too late. I’m keeping her.

shop-teacher > OPPOsaurus WRX 11/13/2016 at 18:35

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That’s awesome!

cazzyodo > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 18:57

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Went home to see my sister after surgery, ended up taking down branches andraking for my mom. I feel you.

pip bip - choose Corrour > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 19:00

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why not just let them stay on the ground and decompose back into the earth?

GTCL > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 19:06

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I’ve still got some green ones on a couple of my trees......correction the trees from my neighbors’ yards that over hang into my yard. I only have two trees actually in my yard, but I have enough leaves in my yard for 8 trees. Not sure how they get them all to fall into my yard every year. Another week or two and I’ll be picking them all up. Just waiting for the trees to be done dropping the leaves.

shop-teacher > OPPOsaurus WRX 11/13/2016 at 19:15

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That is really nice to be able to just go dump them.

OPPOsaurus WRX > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 19:16

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Yea I helped my grandfather bag them back in the day. Not fun. The bags don’t go very far before they are filled

shop-teacher > pip bip - choose Corrour 11/13/2016 at 19:19

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It was 4" thick on the lawn. If I leave them over the winter they will be 2" thick, half rotten, and the already crappy lawn will be totally dead.

shop-teacher > OPPOsaurus WRX 11/13/2016 at 19:21

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No they don’t, and I pack them pretty tight.

pip bip - choose Corrour > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 19:24

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another option then , cut down the offending trees.

That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 19:27

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I’d have thought the Troy Bilt would have been good, but I never had a ride on worth a damn at leaves. The Snapper is legit as long as the leaves are dry...it’ll do them wet, but it won’t be happy about it.

shop-teacher > GTCL 11/13/2016 at 19:28

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I still have two trees that are pretty much full, but this weekend was pretty nice so I decided it would be best to get the bulk of them now.

shop-teacher > LongbowMkII 11/13/2016 at 19:30

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There’s too many, a 4" thick carpet of leaves will kill my already crappy lawn.

shop-teacher > cluelessk 11/13/2016 at 19:32

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I’ve got one, and I love it, but it’s the bagging of the leaves that takes forever. My town doesn’t do curbside pickup, they have to be bagged, and there is way too many for me to compost them.

LongbowMkII > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 19:32

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Less summer work. Win/win

shop-teacher > $kaycog 11/13/2016 at 19:34

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So does my daughter. I tried to upload an adorable picture of her in them, but kinja would have none of that. It’s in my response to Zoidberg from earlier if you care to look.

shop-teacher > That Bastard Kurtis - An Attempt to Standardize My Username Across Platforms 11/13/2016 at 19:36

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The Troy Built is a huge beast, but when there’s a 4" thick carpet of leaves it still takes forever.

shop-teacher > pip bip - choose Corrour 11/13/2016 at 19:39

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That would cost at least $15k, and more likely $20k. I have some big damn trees, including a gianormous canopy elm tree that somehow survived the Dutch Elm disease epidemic.

shop-teacher > LongbowMkII 11/13/2016 at 19:40

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“Hey kiddies, go play in the mud!”

LongbowMkII > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 19:40

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Kids like mud.

shop-teacher > LongbowMkII 11/13/2016 at 19:46

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They sure do, but I don’t like cleaning them all that much.

$kaycog > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 19:49

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Your daughter is a cutie! I can remember playing in the leaves when my dad raked. Good old days.

shop-teacher > $kaycog 11/13/2016 at 19:54

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Thanks, I’m pretty fond of her :)

She was even shouting “cannonball!!!” as she dove into a the piles. My heart kersploded.

XJDano > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 21:49

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If your leaf blower has a vacuum function and bag to collect do that. I’ll collect it all in a big pile, then lay the leaf blower on the ground and take them into the suck end as it’ll mulch up the leaves making them smaller and you’ll fit more in the bag. Well I take them to work and pitch them in a dumpster. At the rental house we or they don’t rake leaves at all and the wind blows them around the neighborhood. Like yours there are 3 huge pin oak trees.

We have some young sycamore trees that are dropping the huge leaves. I’ll have to clean them up soon as they are piling up against the fence.

The Compromiser > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 21:52

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I already got the front yard. Started the back tonight. used the blower and then mulched a bunch. filled a bag and a half. pain in the ass is that it’s like 4-5 ground up bags on the mulcher. suck, zip, shake for 5 minutes, zip, go back to sucking

Edit: I just realized how bad that sounds.

Tristan > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 22:07

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I love summer. I despise fall... it’s as far from summer as you can get. The leaves make a mess, the never-ending overcast skies and obnoxious 8-month-long drizzle starts back up, it’s cold and it gets dark way too early. Plus, pumpkin flavored everything. It’s gross. 

jimz > shop-teacher 11/13/2016 at 22:23

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I dunno; I like cool weather and I don’t have to rake or shovel anything (renter.) fall, winter, and spring are OK by me. Summer is when I (and everyone else) feel and smell icky.

shop-teacher > XJDano 11/13/2016 at 22:43

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There are just too many for that. Last year I bought a big 5-hp leaf vacuum. It was more trouble than it was worth. I used less bags, but it took more time.

shop-teacher > Tristan 11/13/2016 at 22:47

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I nearly mentioned pumpkin everything in my mini-rant, but edited for brevity.

shop-teacher > jimz 11/13/2016 at 22:49

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Renters don’t count, you’re barely even people.

(Just to be clear, I am 100% kidding.)

JohnH3ASP > shop-teacher 11/19/2016 at 02:00

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I really want to skip fall and just delete all the leaves like Hillary deleted her emails & presidential campaign.