So you want to move to Canada?

"not for canada - australian in disguise" (for-canada) 11/09/2016 at 09:57 • Filed to: None

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Understandable. Just know there are a few prerequisites. First things first, the music. Delete all music from your phone/computer/mp3 player. Whatever you use to listen to music. Replace it with The Tragically Hip’s entire discography.

Second, clothing. You are required to wear flanel at all times, except formal events. For those, we wear mountie uniforms.

Third, spelling. If you do not spell colour as colour or centre as centre, you will be executed.

Fourth, the only flavours of chips you are allowed to eat from now on are Ketchup, Salt and Vinegar, and All Dressed.

If you fulfill all these requirements, then welcome to Canada.

DipodomysDeserti > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/09/2016 at 10:03

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No one moves to Canada to get away from white people being white people. It’s also way too cold.I’m moving to Mexico, and I’m gonna make Trump pay for it.

Pistol Whipped Cream > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/09/2016 at 10:11

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The old Gawker people are in full on freak out...

PatBateman > DipodomysDeserti 11/09/2016 at 10:11

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That’s the interesting thing: why does everyone want to move to Canada and not Mexico? Canada = less diverse, colder than most of the US (sometimes oppressively so), no beaches. Mexico = filled with Hispanics, cheaper to live (that’s addressed to the evacuating liberals with nest eggs), warmer, dryer, gorgeous beaches.

I applaud your destination of choice.

CalzoneGolem > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/09/2016 at 10:15

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Wait ... can I keep my BNL?

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > DipodomysDeserti 11/09/2016 at 10:19

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You make an interesting point.

Tripper > CalzoneGolem 11/09/2016 at 10:21

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only if you share bro

Roundbadge > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/09/2016 at 10:29

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I’m not planning on moving to Canada, but I do enjoy me some The Tragically Hip.

Tareim - V8 powered > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/09/2016 at 10:31

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What does All Dressed taste like? rather unusual name for a flavour

CalzoneGolem > Tripper 11/09/2016 at 10:32

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Are you asking me to seed some torrents?

DipodomysDeserti > PatBateman 11/09/2016 at 10:34

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Bingo!

DipodomysDeserti > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 11/09/2016 at 10:36

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Tequila > Rye whiskey

Mexican food > whatever Canadians eat

Spanish > French

Hot > cold

Marijuana and cocaine > meth

Tripper > CalzoneGolem 11/09/2016 at 10:36

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Haha no need, I’ve got their entire catalog on my “kitchen” playlist.

diplodicus > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/09/2016 at 10:38

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Ketchup chips are so good, I don’t know how they didn’t catch on in the US.

Nothing > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/09/2016 at 10:53

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What about poutine? Can I have poutine?

fennelbreath > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/09/2016 at 10:56

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Do Tegan and Sara not qualify? ‘Cause if not I guess I’ll just stay here.

fennelbreath > PatBateman 11/09/2016 at 10:56

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Healthcare. Less crime.

BorkBorkBjork > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/09/2016 at 11:01

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There is only one Canadian band.

Boosted2k - I Make Videos and Put Them on YouTube > fennelbreath 11/09/2016 at 11:06

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You mean Healthwait? I would rather pay for private healthcare than sit in that lineup of people with the sniffles or an upset stomach in emergency at the hospital.

fennelbreath > Boosted2k - I Make Videos and Put Them on YouTube 11/09/2016 at 11:10

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That’s not how it’s perceived here.

Stapleface > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/09/2016 at 11:28

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We’re Americans. We won’t conform. We’ll just get to your country and bitch about it until you change it.

not for canada - australian in disguise > fennelbreath 11/09/2016 at 11:39

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Only Sainthood.

not for canada - australian in disguise > Tareim - V8 powered 11/09/2016 at 11:40

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Imagine a combination of barbecue, salt and vinegar, and ketchup.

not for canada - australian in disguise > Nothing 11/09/2016 at 11:41

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Yes.

fennelbreath > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/09/2016 at 11:41

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All right. I’ll just sit here with “So Jealous.”

Boosted2k - I Make Videos and Put Them on YouTube > fennelbreath 11/09/2016 at 12:05

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Lived in Toronto all my life and currently living in LA. Would much prefer the lower taxes here and to pay for private healthcare. Nothing is free. The cost is just shifted.

fennelbreath > Boosted2k - I Make Videos and Put Them on YouTube 11/09/2016 at 12:18

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I’m talking about the perception that many Americans have about the Canadian healthcare system. I’m not trying to say it aligns with reality.

Tareim - V8 powered > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/09/2016 at 12:39

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give it to me naow!

PatBateman > fennelbreath 11/09/2016 at 13:06

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So you would say that Mexico has enough crime there to cancel out all the good things about the country?

fennelbreath > PatBateman 11/09/2016 at 13:10

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I’m saying that I think most Americans who would move to, or talk about moving to Canada would do so due to a *general perception* of good healthcare and low crime.

The Compromiser > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/09/2016 at 19:06

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Not for nothing but, nahhhhh.

pip bip - choose Corrour > not for canada - australian in disguise 11/10/2016 at 06:36

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when do we get the Timbits?

not for canada - australian in disguise > pip bip - choose Corrour 11/10/2016 at 13:28

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NEVER.