"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
10/26/2016 at 11:35 • Filed to: None
1
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"Textured Soy Protein" (texturedsoyprotein)
10/26/2016 at 11:35 • Filed to: None | 1
| 17 |
This fine upstate New York resident, Michael Orchard, thought his neighbor’s house was on fire, and their dog was in danger. So he valiantly drove his 3-series through a fence, shattered a glass patio door, and “rescued” the dog. Except there was no fire.
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A Halfmoon man allegedly broke into his neighbor’s house to save the family dog from a fire, Thursday night. However, there was no fire. Troopers say he was on LSD and hallucinating.
Troopers say 43-year-old Michael Orchard of Inglewood Drive told them he mixed LSD with cough medicine Thursday afternoon and they found him, standing heroically with a dog in his arms outside of what he thought was a giant inferno.
“He believed that the residence was on fire and he was rescuing the dog,” said Trooper Mark Cepiel, Troop G spokesperson.
Neighbors tell NewsChannel 13 that Orchard went around the neighborhood banging on doors yelling about a fire. Since no one would help, because there was no fire, the animal lover took matters into his own hands to save the dog, allegedly driving his black BMW sedan through the fence. Troopers say once Orchard got through this fence with his vehicle, he got out, went up to the back door, smashed through it and went inside to save the family’s large white dog.
Orchard was charged with second-degree burglary and third-degree criminal mischief and put in county jail on $15,000 bail.
Neighbors didn’t want to go on camera because they’re scared of retribution in the tightly packed development. Several neighbors listed things Orchard has allegedly destroyed in the past.
We asked Cepiel why there were no drug charges if Orchard was allegedly high.
“He drove over yards and through the fence. At no point was he on the roadway and no illegal substances were found in his possession,” said Cepiel.
Troopers say Orchard was very cooperative. The developers say they’ve already ordered the victims a new door. The dog was unharmed.
DipodomysDeserti
> Textured Soy Protein
10/26/2016 at 11:43 |
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I can only imagine the insane life this guy has lived if just plain old LSD won’t suffice. This crazy bastard has to take it a step further and throw in some cough syrup.
ttyymmnn
> Textured Soy Protein
10/26/2016 at 11:48 |
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Uhh, thanks?
CalzoneGolem
> Textured Soy Protein
10/26/2016 at 11:51 |
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That’s a good neighbor.
DaftRyosuke - So Long and Thanks for All the Fish!
> Textured Soy Protein
10/26/2016 at 11:51 |
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This would probably be me on LSD.
marshknute
> Textured Soy Protein
10/26/2016 at 11:52 |
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I love the cop’s painstaking attention to detail. Technically , he never drove on a roadway, so I cannot in good conscience cite him for impaired driving!
Reminds me of the John Oliver sketch on special districts when he shows two district chairmen taking attendance and saying the Pledge of Allegience despite literally having zero audience members.
Skip to 4:08
interstate366, now In The Industry
> Textured Soy Protein
10/26/2016 at 11:53 |
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The dog was like
Snuze: Needs another Swede
> CalzoneGolem
10/26/2016 at 12:03 |
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Better than if he set the house on fire, right?
RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
> CalzoneGolem
10/26/2016 at 12:19 |
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He’s in the running for Greatest American Hero, I’d say.
Rust and Dust - Oppositelock Forever
> Textured Soy Protein
10/26/2016 at 12:24 |
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Obligatory:
BobintheMtns
> CalzoneGolem
10/26/2016 at 12:26 |
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Let the records show: enough alcohol= you want to fight your friends. Enough coke= unbounded ego/general asshole-ishness... LSD= I gotta save that dog!!!
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CalzoneGolem
> Snuze: Needs another Swede
10/26/2016 at 12:32 |
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Right, nothing malicious was done here.
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CalzoneGolem
> RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
10/26/2016 at 12:34 |
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risks life to save your dog and the neighborhood
can get LSD
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CalzoneGolem
> BobintheMtns
10/26/2016 at 12:34 |
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LSD for everyone!
Shamoononon drives like a farmer
> Textured Soy Protein
10/26/2016 at 12:54 |
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Well, at least he had good intentions and wasn’t trying to eat somebody’s face.
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Textured Soy Protein
> Shamoononon drives like a farmer
10/26/2016 at 13:15 |
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Face eating is more like bath salts.
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Shamoononon drives like a farmer
> Textured Soy Protein
10/26/2016 at 14:32 |
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Yeah, see, could be worse.
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Textured Soy Protein
> Shamoononon drives like a farmer
10/26/2016 at 14:53 |
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Although, his neighbors did anonymously list several other things he’s destroyed in the past...