This is exhausting...

"Mercedes Streeter" (smart)
10/12/2016 at 17:15 • Filed to: rant

Warning: Non-car stuffs ahead......

Ugh, what the hell was I thinking this morning? Why do I keep doing this stuff? Why do I often hate myself and everything about my life?

Anyway, since coming out, one of the hardest things for me to do on Kinja is well...just be on Kinja. I’m prone to accidentally saying things that sends a witch hunt after me...sometimes often lasting for months, if not a whole year. My latest screw up was this morning on Jezebel. I was busy at work and wanted to shoot off a quick comment. I didn’t proofread, I didn’t think out my response, I said some stuff I shouldn’t...didn’t clarify what I should have...and now I look like the most transphobic person ever to grace the pages of Kinja. It’s like, I don’t even have the chance to apologize, because the Jez fp isn’t about that. The best I can do is change my Kinja handle and hope that minimizes the damage.

And this happens like, every couple months. Be it here on Oppo, on another Kinja, or even on the FP...sometimes I just screw up a comment and it just starts a whole lot of trouble that lasts me for so long...and all I do is log out of Kinja, come back a week or a month later.. Doing anything that is not car stuff on Kinja has brought me more pain than joy. This never happened before, probably because I kept to myself.

So what now? Should I just merge all my trans stuff into that “emergency” wordpress I made in case Kinja got the axe (and just use Kinja for car stuff)? Maybe that’ll let me enjoy Kinja more. But then I feel terrible for giving up and packing up shop. Just weather the storm? Tell them all to buzz off? I’m amazed people even read my stuff anymore. I’ve stepped on so many toes by now I’m sure there’s a waiting list of people who’d love to tip over my car. Gosh I sound like a whining baby. :/

Raptor Excursion for anyone who made it this far.

DISCUSSION (13)

Monkey B > Mercedes Streeter
10/12/2016 at 18:08

In my experience with life, when one has a frequent reoccurring of events it requires a look in the mirror and a change in what you are doing. The solution sounds as easy as it is, change your online behavior as it should not be something that has a negative impact on your life...it’s the internet. Being that, it shouldn’t require this much mental energy.

I’m not saying you are wrong either...just that whatever is being said should maybe be left unsaid. If you don’t want to do that than maybe you change the language in how you express yourself.

At the very least, keep doing as you are but stop taking the internet so seriously.

DynamicWeight > Monkey B
10/12/2016 at 18:12

I’ll second this. If you think “everyone’s an asshole”, they’re not. It’s you. You’re the asshole.

For instance, everyone who complains that “everyone in (insert their town here) are bad drivers”, it’s them. They are the bad drivers.

Neither is always true, but they are generally true enough.

yamahog > Mercedes Streeter
10/12/2016 at 18:16

looked at the comments in question.

honestly, that phrasing was not great, but you already know that and you’ve owned up to your mistake. you’ve made your apologies, no need to beat yourself up over it, it’ll blow over.

as far as your kinja participation, just do what’s best for you.

Chan - Mid-engine with cabin fever > Mercedes Streeter
10/12/2016 at 19:03

For this latest episode, you’ve owned up to your mistake. There is nothing left to be done but to let it go.

Now, for future Internet Commenter drama that may or may not occur soon......

I think it’s worth considering that if you’re busy with something more important (such as work), it’s probably not worth your time to chase the Internet Commenters for risk of expressing something inaccurately or without proper thought.

If the discussion is still going on after work, take your time and do a proper response then.

If not, leave it be and join a better discussion next time.

Nimbus The Legend - Riding on air like a cloud > Mercedes Streeter
10/12/2016 at 19:55

read the comments section in the article about amanda stevens on united airlines, there are some real transphobic people out there...

bhtooefr > Nimbus The Legend - Riding on air like a cloud
10/12/2016 at 20:08

There’s a second article now.

Both articles, the comments sections are dumpster fires. Granted, there’s people intervening and correcting the transphobes, but they’re running rampant. And, I mean, there’s also the racial factor (which is what the articles are about), which just brings out the best internet commenters even when the article isn’t about transgender people.

nermal > Mercedes Streeter
10/12/2016 at 20:18

Don’t feed the trolls, and flag / dismiss / report anybody that harasses you.

It’s unfortunate, but haters will be everywhere. Ironically, the biggest haters you will encounter on the internet will be the ones being assholes directly to you, while trying to defend people like you, even though they have absolutely no idea what it’s like to be you.

There’s no sense in using your energy arguing, just flag & dismiss the comments and move on. Don’t let them push you away from something that you enjoy otherwise either.

bhtooefr > Mercedes Streeter
10/12/2016 at 20:33

Honestly, it looks like some people even saw the apology, looking at those comments.

From what I’m seeing in that thread, weather the storm, and try to be more careful with how you word things on sensitive topics in the future. (I’m assuming they’re not stalking your posts elsewhere or something, though. If they are... that’s messed up, and I’d flag and dismiss those.)

That said, I’ve gotten a bad taste in my mouth from Jezebel commenters in the past, having read The Slot posts (which IMO, The Slot is a fantastic blog) and their comments from when the primaries were still going on.

Mercedes Streeter > bhtooefr
10/13/2016 at 09:12

Looks like the storm is already dying down. Uggh my biggest fear isn’t the Jez commenters, but rather the rabid folks who literally do stalk me who might inevitably hang this over my head for many months to come. I’ve already disconnected all of my public accounts from Kinja (again) just in case. Last time saw me doing a mass Facebook delete and making it private because they tracked me to there.

I’ll sincerely apologize god knows how many times, still not good enough for them. Agreed though, posting while busy or in a poor emotional state is a baaaaad idea.

Mercedes Streeter > Monkey B
10/13/2016 at 09:18

I agree wholeheartedly. Thankfully this one didn’t explode in my face like November of last year. That time, I had to put all of my social accounts to private because my greatest “fans” were trying to inform my friends, family, and job of how “great” I am.

I still removed my picture though. I have no idea if that can be GIS’d back to any of my real accounts.

And that’s the worst thing. I never try to be the asshole, and if I step on toes, I try to make it right again...but in my experience thus far, everyone wants the death penalty for like any transgression. Heck, my all star stalkers chased after me for a harmless political joke I made on a Foxtrot Alpha once (it had to do with taxes). I haven’t figured out why just yet. Am I that unlikable? Did I do something in the past? Idk, best I can do is protect myself when it happens.

Mercedes Streeter > yamahog
10/13/2016 at 09:29

I noticed the replies have basically died down since I changed my screen name, apologized and noped out of the thread entirely. I think most people got the message. Whew, this won’t be another “GOMI” thing again.

Anyway, I do agree that phrasing was absolutely deplorable...and I wish Kinja was more like Facebook and allowed better editing. I think taking the first line of text out of the permalinks was a great first start to that.

I also removed my picture for the time being. After the various issues I’ve had with my “greatest fans” from all over social media, I’ve learned that the best damage control is to set literally everything I have to private, wait for the heat to die down, then come back out again. So, I’ma just hold my ground right here until Univision nukes Kinja (if that ever happens). lol

Speaking of which, do you have any news about that issue we talked about in email? Is it still happening?

yamahog > Mercedes Streeter
10/13/2016 at 09:36

Yea I don’t blame you... I don’t even post pictures where my reflection is visible in the paint, lmao!

And about that: Weren’t able to pin a culprit, but it has stopped. I’ve been keeping an eye on it but let me know if you have any leads.

Mercedes Streeter > yamahog
10/13/2016 at 13:51

I guess I should have expected it...I’m more public than pretty much any other trans person on Kinja...and have stuck my face into all sorts of places I probably shouldn’t have. Heck, I’m even commenting on Breitbart now...because idk, my heart is clearly bigger than my brain or something. At least the fire has died down for now...and I’ll change my username back after the weekend or something.

And well, at least it stopped! I couldn’t give you a lead even if I had one...Most of those who don’t like me use burners, so I’d never be able to find them anyway. lol