Bmw X6 et al.

"HammerheadFistpunch" (hammerheadfistpunch) 10/11/2016 at 11:05 • Filed to: Walky talky

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I was just walking by a BMW X6, and I got to thinking: Are these manufacturers being forced to build their coupes as SUVs because the market demand them? With crossovers being the hot tickets can these mishmash vehicles really just be an outward manifestation of an inner struggle to build sporty cars but with a platform people will buy? Can you blame them for making them? Yes. And how.

Nibby > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 11:06

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my eyes

HammerheadFistpunch > Nibby 10/11/2016 at 11:09

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Sorry, if it makes you feel better you just got a glancing blow, I had to see it up close

S65 > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 11:10

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That looks so wrong

HammerheadFistpunch > S65 10/11/2016 at 11:11

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Oh you’re only saying that because it’s true

Tripper > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 11:16

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I still cannot understand the wild success of the X6 and its doppelgangers. A gigantic expensive turd that only seats 4 with less room than a real SUV/Wagon. 

Nibby > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 11:16

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you need these pictures

MUSASHI66 > Tripper 10/11/2016 at 11:20

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There are thousands of empty-nesters with cash which like SUVs for height and space for the driver and passenger, but don’t need the cargo space of a “real” SUV. They want perceived sportiness and exclusivity, and something different from what every soccer-mom in their affluent neighborhood drives around every day.

These sell better than BMW 5 series wagon with AWD, diesel and manual in brown, and BMW makes cars for people which have money - not for mostly broke kids of Jalopnik.

That is why we have X6 and the like.

fintail > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 11:24

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Demand is real. This is probably the douchiest time for those with a little money since just before the French Revolution. The profit margin on these aberrations have to be yuuuuge.

Textured Soy Protein > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 11:24

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These vehicles are still SHIT .

PS9 > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 11:26

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That argument doesn’t work when BMW is really the only one buidling these monstrosities. It only exists because 10,000 slightly different products in the same relative market segment is part of BMWs business model. The X6 exists because a few BMW customers specifically wanted it to. Nobody else did, which is why Acura’s attempt to snatch away some of the X6s microscopic marketshare ended in utter failure.

Porsche, Infiniti and Audi do the sporty crossover thing right; you can get the better handling and power without sacrificing interior space with a stupid (for a crossover) sloping roof.

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 11:28

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Because people with money also have no taste.

Ssfancyfresh > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 11:32

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I love these and I would buy one if I was a single bro.

Ever sat in the back of one? Tight. No head room. I’m 6'2" and when I’m in the back my head is cocked such that my right ear is on my shoulder and my left is against the head liner. No bueno.

I think it looks dope. Especially with some of the bigger OEM wheel and tire packages. They put some fat meats on these pigs.

If I’m gonna sacrifice passenger comfort, I will commit to something much more sporty.

HammerheadFistpunch > PS9 10/11/2016 at 11:34

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Ahem

Tripper > MUSASHI66 10/11/2016 at 11:34

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I get it, I just don’t understand people like that. The X6 isn’t even exclusive/different (near me anyway). The Lexus LX is the private school connoisseur car, other wise its range rovers, X5/6's and their Merc counterparts.

CB > PS9 10/11/2016 at 11:35

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Mercedes is also building one, and if my neighbourhood is any indication, it’s selling pretty well. Clearly there’s a market for them.

HammerheadFistpunch > Nibby 10/11/2016 at 11:36

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Ah, better

PS9 > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 11:38

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Okay, so that’s two. Merc can maybe get away with the whole ‘10,000 different market segments thing’ but very few others can, and fewer still are bothering to try.

HammerheadFistpunch > PS9 10/11/2016 at 11:40

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Wait for it...you know Audi is working on one right now. If bmw/Mercedes are making money in a niche it’s only a matter of time before Audi hops on board (If they can afford it right now)

cletus44 aka Clayton Seams > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 11:47

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Yes I can blame them. Idiots want silly car-shaped crossovers and BMW loves to cater to idiots.

404 - User No Longer Available > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 12:46

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So is Porsche. There have been rumours about a Cayenne coupe.

http://paultan.org/2016/08/09/spyshots-porsche-cayenne-coupe-spotted-testing/

Honestly these weird designs don’t look as bad on smaller form factors. X4, GLC Coupe does not look as bad as the X6 and GLE coupe.

Orange Exige > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 12:49

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As good as capitalism is (usually), most of the time I just wish the auto industry would give people what they need instead of what they think they need.

I’d bet that 90% of the time, a two seater is all that people need (commuting, etc). Realistically, I couldn’t say that everybody should be driving two seaters - especially because most are non-economical sports cars - but are 5-seater SUVs really providing any notable benefits over a normal sedan? For the most part, no. Besides large families and unique circumstances, I’d be highly confident that most people would more than suffice with a sedan.

Tall vehicles don’t make anybody any safer in reality. AWD doesn’t automatically make a good driver in the winter. You can very well live and thrive in New England with RWD or FWD. That ‘JUST IN CASE I NEED TO TOW SOMETHING’ scenario is probably never going to happen. And those extra 2 cubic feet of storage space? Wouldn’t make a difference in the real world.

HammerheadFistpunch > Orange Exige 10/11/2016 at 12:59

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You say give people what they want and not what they think, then say that people should only need sedans? These things are incongruent. Out west, a wagon with a little clearance and additional traction is absolutely a useful thing. Even when I didn’t have kids I was using my SUV’s space and versatility extremely often. When you need to carry a lot of stuff, or awkwardly shaped stuff (getting two mountain bikes in the back of a sedan? HA!) and then being able to take it off the road (not off road) to get to the slopes on heavy snow days, or where the trailhead starts is a real thing. People are very well served by suv’s , not all people and not in all areas but they are certainly more used that you are imagining.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 17:41

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Apparently they sell these by the crapton, as I see truckloads of the ugly things coming out of Spartanburg.

Orange Exige > HammerheadFistpunch 10/11/2016 at 22:31

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Yes, you are right - wagons, or even hatches, would be the closest thing to the ultimate versatile car for most of the time. Trust me, I’m all for hatches and have one myself, but I just said sedans instead of hatches or wagons because, well, have you ever heard what non-car people say about them? Or simply noticed sales trends and what’s on the road today? Obviously none of what I’m saying is or has been scientific, but I’m not sure you’ll find a more despised bodystyle than the good ole wagon. If you gave everybody sedans and said “live with it”, I think most people would say “but-... ok fine”. Do that with wagons and I think you’d find bus ridership skyrocket. Hell, even I used to despise wagons. I still don’t love em - I think the only reason I have any affection for them is because I love (small) hatchbacks and wagons are really just (large) hatchbacks. And yes, they’re infinitely more useful and versatile than sedans. I can certainly appreciate that.

And I totally understand your point - sometimes a larger vehicle just makes things way easier and more convenient in several ways. And no doubt that many SUVs do things that would *ahem* challenge regular sedans.

What I’m still contending though is that these times are in the severe minority. Just consider the mileage an average person puts into commuting - (generally) by themselves, on paved, maintained, and plowed roads - and put that against virtually all other mileage. I don’t think think you’re going to have a balanced scale. Unfortunately, I don’t have any great answer to resolve it. I’ll admit, it’s easier to go big and not use it to its full potential 99% of the time than to go too small and be absolutely screwed that 1% of the time. I’m sure cars aren’t the only culprit with such a conundrum, but to me, they’re one of the most notable. (And one of the top producers of waste and environmental issues)