It's Hard to Shift a Dogbox

"Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch) 09/29/2015 at 11:34 • Filed to: just ford things, bricknose week, dogs

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So I had this great dog once. His name was Bosco. He was an Irish setter. Little dumb, super joyful, but loyal to the end. I loved him like my own son, and we had a mutual respect and admiration born out of the deep bond between a man and his hound.

I had this truck, too. An ‘87 Ford F150. It was mottled red, worn down, with a bench seat and Mexican blanket. The way trucks used to be, before the academics came down from their ivory towers and demanded things like carpet and being able to survive a crash. I loved that truck, too, the same way a man loves a worn-down rifle passed down from his grandpa. Every shift of the dicky four-speed was an affirmation that all was right in the world.

One day, everything changed.

I had started the Ford and left Bosco inside it. I went off to close the gate to my compound behind me, so we could get on our way. Suddenly, the Ford started rolling away. I chased after it, thinking that touchy parking brake cable had finally snapped. I could see Bosco nervously jumping around the cab, and I was afraid for his health.

My parking brake theory evaporated as soon as I heard the sound of a perfect rev match and saw the left turn signal engage. That son of a bitch had stolen my truck.

I never should have taught him to fetch stick.

TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. > Seat Safety Switch 09/29/2015 at 11:39

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I feel like this has the makings of a perfect country song.

Mattbob > Seat Safety Switch 09/29/2015 at 11:40

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You keep getting me with these thing!!! I click on your post because the title is interesting, but then I realize its a story that is way too long for me to read for how little relevance it has. Everytime. I wouldn’t post this because it is a bit dickish, but you get me every single time.

Nonster > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 09/29/2015 at 11:41

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part 2: Bosco runs off with his wife

deprecated account > Seat Safety Switch 09/29/2015 at 11:42

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son of a bitch... heh heh heh.

and 100 more > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 09/29/2015 at 11:46

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This is every country song.

Seat Safety Switch > Mattbob 09/29/2015 at 12:00

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Another satisfied customer!

Seat Safety Switch > Nonster 09/29/2015 at 12:00

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I never should have taught that dog how to put on a Hugh Grant mask and deliver flowers.

You can tell a Finn but you can't tell him much > TheBloody, Oppositelock lives on in our shitposts. 09/29/2015 at 14:43

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Now it just needs mention of momma and trains and prison and getting drunk.