What Makes A Car Jalop?

"472CID" (472CID) 09/25/2015 at 12:55 • Filed to: None

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Every so often there’s a post about testing your car’s “Jalop” quotient, but what, if anything, can we all agree makes a car Jalop? One could argue that any car can be Jalop, that to be Jalop is a state of mind, but lets figure out what makes a car more likely to be Jalop.

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Now being Jalop isn’t the same as being a hipster, but it’s damn near close. We generally value anything not common place, a car from a long defunct maker or an unusual body style for example. It’s notable that weirdness depends on context; an old cheap Peugeot hatch might be Jalop in the US, but not so much in France. Some Jalop favorites, Mustang, WRX, Miata aren’t rare or unusual at all, so quirkiness isn’t everything.

The following categories are more or less a sub-group of this quality

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Points definately go up if your car is from a manufacturer who no long makes cars, or no longer sells them in you country. This however isn’t always a good thing (is a Yugo Jalop?)

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One of the strongest Jalop tropes is the love for wagons and hatches. In the US these body styles aren’t terribly common, so our subculture values them more. Other weird layouts like pickup-bedded cars or shooting breaks get high praise. On the flip side, some strange body styes *cough coupe suvs cough* have a negative status.

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Unusual engine configurations are a big plus. Anything outside the usual inline 4, V6 or (to a lesser extent) V8 has a good chance of ratcheting up the score. I think diesels and turbos are mostly neutral, possibly some points for high performance versions of either, and negative points for low output versions. As far as hybrids and electrics go, it seems to be a case by case situation.

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Something perhaps almost everyone here can agree on is that a manual would add to Jalopness of a vehicle. That’s not to say an automatic would detract from the score, well maybe a CVT would.

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Typically the older a car is the more Jalop it is.

Now these are things I feel most of us can agree on. Many questions areas aren’t as easy however: Are some or all new supercars Jalop? we certainly spend a lot of time commenting on them. Can a trailer queen be Jalop? Can a Camry be Jalop? Can a Miata be not-Jalop? How many times can one say Jalop without sounding stupid? These questions probably don’t have a definitive answer as they’re mostly subjective.

DrScientist > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 12:58

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surely you’ve been reading davesaddictions post from yesterday/last night ? some good stuff over there.

CalzoneGolem > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 12:58

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Welcome to yesterday.

TheHondaBro > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:00

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A Jalop car typically has an angry cult following of keyboard warriors with the “like what I like or I kill you first” attitude.

Margin Of Error > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:00

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I’d say that Jalopery is in the eye of the beholder. A great friend of mine rocks a 2007 sonata, silver. He wishes it had a V8 and always talk about it car, take pictures and whatnot.

For him, it’s a Jalop car.

djmt1 > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:00

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I disagree with pretty much all of this apart from the first one. That said I would say how interesting a car is rather than how unusual it is. As many have said, life is too short to drive dull cars.

HammerheadFistpunch > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:01

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A quiz. A quiz makes its jalop.

Punk_Girl_98 > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:01

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As close as to the meaning of Jalopy as possible.

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:04

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It's the appreciation of the unusual, weird, and defender of the car.

472CID > DrScientist 09/25/2015 at 13:04

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Indeed, fun discussions, I wanted to put my $.02 in a formatted post.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:05

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Being whiny and band-wagony. Now, what makes a car Oppo?

472CID > TheHondaBro 09/25/2015 at 13:05

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As bad as it can be, it’s one of the best angry mobs, have you ever read Autoblog comments?

Leon711 > TheHondaBro 09/25/2015 at 13:11

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You don’t like my GTI? You didn’t like my Miata? What’s wrong with you? Are you not jalop

M54B30 > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:12

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The car isn’t jalop - the owner is. A jalop is someone who sees the positive of any car, knows their car very well, has a great understanding of cars in general and an appreciation of what makes some cars special - even if they don’t like the car.

I don’t like Miatas, but as a Jalop i can appreciate their RWD tossable nature, i understand how important it is to keep it light, etc. etc.

A jalop might drive a on-paper inferior car for its superior ways. Example: I still drive my E39 even though I could’ve/should’ve replaced it many times. Experts tend to agree that E39s were the “peak” of the 5 series as far as driver connectedness, performance, comfort, etc.

I drive a Corolla - yaaaaaawn - but i find it’s better to drive a 5 speed corolla then an automatic competitor

Danimalk - Drives a Slow Car Fast > Margin Of Error 09/25/2015 at 13:14

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This. This. This.

Jalop-ness is in the driver, not the car.

RallyWrench > TheHondaBro 09/25/2015 at 13:16

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FU Bro HONDA SUKS!

472CID > HammerheadFistpunch 09/25/2015 at 13:20

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PERMI-BAN ALL THOSE WHO FAIL

But seriously that Jalop meter v1.0 is pretty fun. It’s funny how popular cars fail because there’s nothing werid about them. Examples Alfa Romeo GTA, Miatas, 944s, Zs, S13, Mustangs, Camaros, etc.

TheHondaBro > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:20

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No, but I’ve read Motor Authority’s Facebook comments.

DrScientist > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:21

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been looking for you by the way... had an idea for one of your (in)famous lists: cars that have the car name badge (not just the make, but the actual car model) on the glovebox or dash or center stack somewhere

HammerheadFistpunch > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:22

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Yeah, I think that’s whats wrong with all these quizes, they focus on oddities or experiences. Its my opinion that a Jalop car is one that is owned by a jalop.

Baeromez > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:24

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T-tops. If it doesn’t have T-tops, it’s fucking garbage.

TrickJos > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:28

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I think it mostly has to do with the attitude of the owner. A car’s Jalopness is always determined by its owner in my opinion. All cars can be Jalop. My fiancee and I have three very different cars, all of which I consider to be Jalop.

1994 Saturn SC2 - Jalop in my eyes because it is my first car and I’m quite attached to it. I’ve spent countless hours working on it with my dad and grandpa. It has been my main mode of transport for nearly twelve years.

2012 Camaro SS - Jalop because V8 and 6 speed. To me it’s one of the best looking cars made in the last decade.

2004 VW Beetle Convertible - Yeah, it’s got a 2.0L 4 cyl, an automatic, and looks way too cutesy with it’s cream white paint and flowers on the dash. But damn, I sure do enjoy a drive in it on a nice sunny day. What’s more Jalop than just enjoying the hell out of a car? Plus the constant wrenching I do on it has made me quite proud of the little bug.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > HammerheadFistpunch 09/25/2015 at 13:30

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OTOH, it’s certainly true that some people of a Jalop personality are “stuck” driving a car with absolutely nothing obviously special about it whatsoever, and there are certainly cars that appeal to a broad swath of Jalop personalities which can be owned by people who don’t fit the stereotype. So while people of Jalop personality impart jalopness to a car (to a point), a car owned by a Jalop is not automatically Jalop, and vice versa.

marshknute > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:32

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Basically, a Jalop car is anything that warrants a double take. It may be a small double take (V8 5-Series with a manual) or a huge double take (Japanese Kei truck), but anything that breaks the mold.

ESSSIX GmbH - Accountant/Wagon Thumper > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:32

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LOVE. cause its not just four wheels to its driver.

Santiago of Escuderia Boricua > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:34

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A trailer queen is totally anti-jalop. A yugo can be jalop, especially in rally form.

Rally all the things

HammerheadFistpunch > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 09/25/2015 at 13:34

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This is, of course, true. But trying to pin down what characteristic traits make a car jalop on its own is equally fraut with error. Its sixes in my opinion.

pauljones > HammerheadFistpunch 09/25/2015 at 13:36

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This. So much this.

472CID > DrScientist 09/25/2015 at 13:38

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I wouldn’t be able to come up with a definative list. Most sporty cars seem to have one (optional?), usually on the passenger side. You can find images for most Ferraris, Corvettes, Camaros, and Mustangs.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > HammerheadFistpunch 09/25/2015 at 13:39

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A PT Cruiser is not automatically Jalop - yet. When a few more of them die as a result of being a cheap mini-minivan with pretensions and screaming and punished drivetrain, they will be, because like any cult car the crazies will remain. In the mean time, a PT cruiser owned by CalzoneGolem which he decided needs red painted steelies was more Jalop than the average, because he took a wrong-headed bland statement by the company that made it at full value (30’s retro!), taken hold of it like a chihuahua, and dashed off under the sofa with it. It’s like crime - what makes a car Jalop is part act (which car), part motive (why, which options, how, and done what with).

pauljones > TrickJos 09/25/2015 at 13:40

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I do not say this often about commenters or to commenters, but when I do, I do so for good reason: you, sir, are Jalop in a world where many have forgotten what Jalop is.

HammerheadFistpunch > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht 09/25/2015 at 13:43

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So a Hybrid model? I think that Road and Track one tried there, but I gave it no credit based on it being mostly “are you a wild and crazy guy?!” plus no love for suvs. Sorry, but suv’s can be VERY jalop.

TrickJos > pauljones 09/25/2015 at 13:45

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Wow, thank you very much! It actually feels good to read that.

Brian, The Life of > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 13:47

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We covered this yesterday. The simple rule is: Does said conveyance tickle the naughty bits of a certain Saucy Minx? If so, JALOP!

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > HammerheadFistpunch 09/25/2015 at 13:54

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Yeah, you’ve got to determine if Jalop has been committed. It’s just way easier when only Jalop motives are possible (Fiero, etc.) On SUVs, there’s a vast world of difference between Series, Land Cruiser, Wagoneer, modded XJ, ex-mil squarebody CUCV, etc. etc. etc. and new Lexus LX.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 09/25/2015 at 14:08

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Weirdness?

Rykilla303 > M54B30 09/25/2015 at 14:39

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yuuuuup... it shouldn’t matter if my cars arent super rare or unique. They are special to me.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie 09/25/2015 at 15:14

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OK

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > 472CID 09/25/2015 at 15:26

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Automatic Miatas are not Jalop.

Eric @ opposite-lock.com > Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer 09/25/2015 at 15:28

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Opposite lock is a maneuver where you steer hard into a corner, then rotate the steering wheel the opposite direction while you drift through the corner.

If you can do that with said car, it is probably oppo.

Smallbear wants a modern Syclone, local Maple Leafs spammer > Eric @ opposite-lock.com 09/25/2015 at 15:33

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I can. Not without many poo's pre-swaybar, and I haven't tried it since, but it's a lot more agile now so it should be easier.

HFV has no HFV. But somehow has 2 motorcycles > TrickJos 10/26/2015 at 14:18

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I disagree with your feelings about the 2012 Camaro, but I agree with your feelings toward cars in general.

It’s kinda of a “It’s not the car it’s how your drive it” sort of thing. Being a “jolop isn’t about worshipign the NA Miata, or importing a diesel E30 wagon, it’s just about the love of cars, for the sake of joy of driving, working on, and maybe even collecting the car/s that you feel match who you are.