I need your advice

"MultiplaOrgasms" (themightymultipla) 09/13/2015 at 17:33 • Filed to: I am not going to tell you but horrible things will happen

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Tell me the most brutal and inhumane ways to kill a car that you know of. But it can’t be a quick death. It has to be as slow and painful a death as possible.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:35

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Drive around and gently bump people who are horribly parked? I can’t claim it’s the best idea ever, but still...

dogisbadob > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:35

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The easiest answer is simply by not maintaining it, of course. There’s also the obama liquid glass shit :p

This may not work on some cars, though, especially 90s Toyotas.

Birddog > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:35

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Hold on a sec, let me find my ex-wife’s phone number. She’s awesome at this.

and 100 more > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:36

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Remove a vital fluid (oil or water) and rev the piss out of it until it siezes.

Or hand the keys to a teenager and say “be very careful”.

Supreme Chancellor and Glorious Leader SaveTheIntegras > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:37

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Drain all fluids, attempt to daily it on a consistent basis

Urambo Tauro > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:37

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Stop driving it, stop maintaining it, and just let it rot outside somewhere.

scoob > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:38

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!!! UNKNOWN CONTENT TYPE !!!

MM54 > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:38

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Regular use in the salt belt without any sort of maintenance.

I think this was the goal of my car’s previous owner

Logansteno: Bought a VW? > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:38

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Run it with little to no oil or coolant. Unless it's an early 90s GM 4.3, then even that won't kill it. I know from experience.

duurtlang > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:39

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Can I ask what car you have in mind?

Anyway, try what a colleague of mine had to endure. An angry neighbour (with a car business) found a way to pop her hood and he added sand to her motor oil. He used a lot of sand, killing the engine quickly. If you want it painful and slow, use a small amount of sand.

LongbowMkII > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:39

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contact your local necrodragoning fetish group.

AntiSpeed > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:40

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Pour milk into the door. Don’t tell anyone.

GeorgeyBoy > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:41

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Bring it to Jiffy Lube.

CB > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:41

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Different sized tires to fuck up the diffs. Especially if it’s 4wd. Four different sized tires for bonus points.

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > AntiSpeed 09/13/2015 at 17:42

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I gasped in disgust

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > GeorgeyBoy 09/13/2015 at 17:42

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No kidding.

Berang > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:43

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Find some naphathele mothballs and put them in the gas tank.

have fun.

explode engine.

MultiplaOrgasms > duurtlang 09/13/2015 at 17:43

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I can’t tell you what car it is, because if I did I’d be dead by tuesday.

TheOnelectronic > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:44

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Drive it in Paris (or really any major “old world” city.)

ArmadaExpress drives a turbo outback > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:45

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Pour salt in with the motor oil?

MultiplaOrgasms > AntiSpeed 09/13/2015 at 17:45

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Good... good.

scoob > sm70- why not Duesenberg? 09/13/2015 at 17:46

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Like that.

MultiplaOrgasms > TheOnelectronic 09/13/2015 at 17:46

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Can confirm.

sm70- why not Duesenberg? > scoob 09/13/2015 at 17:47

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“Gently bump”.

Or, you know, ramming speed.

ly2v8-Brian > dogisbadob 09/13/2015 at 17:47

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They will brick just as easily.

GhostZ > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:47

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Give it to a 16 year old upper-middle-class girl.

ly2v8-Brian > GhostZ 09/13/2015 at 17:48

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You monster

Viggen > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:48

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Shit in the air filter.

MultiplaOrgasms > GhostZ 09/13/2015 at 17:50

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How convenient, I am a 16 year old middle-class girl. Definetely won’t be anymore when I get hold of the specific car I have in mind, though.

Tareim - V8 powered > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:51

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I take it that this car doesn’t belong to you? I think draining the oil but replace it with something else just incase the oil level is checked, another way is make a hole somewhere in the coolant lines so the coolant is always empty and therefore overheating it

GhostZ > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:51

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Alternate ideas:

Put a slap of concrete (mix+water) in the trunk (it will sink into all the little holes, then slowly destroy the rear suspension and axles with its weight), strip a few wires inside the chassis (they will slowly wear down until they short, causing all sorts of electrical quirks over time) mix in the wrong oil or put some additive in the gas tank that will eat away the gaskets slowly. Tweak the alignment and don’t get it fixed.

GhostZ > ly2v8-Brian 09/13/2015 at 17:52

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Starbucks cups in the rear seats as high as the windows!

Tareim - V8 powered > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:53

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Oh are you trying to break your car so your parents buy you a new one

Berang > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:54

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Remove the air filter, and put a potato in its place.

Captain of the Enterprise > MM54 09/13/2015 at 17:54

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Same here

Daily Drives a Dragon - One Last Lap > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:55

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Rally it jello in the radiator.

Captain of the Enterprise > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 17:56

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This sounds like a crime happenening, what did the person and car deserve to warrant this?

mazda616 > Logansteno: Bought a VW? 09/13/2015 at 17:57

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Or a ‘90s GM four-banger. I drove my old ‘92 Beretta for 30 miles with no antifreeze whatsoever. No repercussions, luckily. No “low coolant” light, either.

ly2v8-Brian > GhostZ 09/13/2015 at 17:59

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TheJWT > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 18:04

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Loosen one random bolt in the engine bay every day

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Tareim - V8 powered 09/13/2015 at 18:05

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Dear God I hope this is not the case

CB > mazda616 09/13/2015 at 18:08

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Have you considered the fact the light might have been broken? I mean, it was an early 90s GM.

Viggen > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 18:14

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You trying to kill a Miata or FiST/FoST or Volvo?

Tareim - V8 powered > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/13/2015 at 18:15

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After reading a couple comments it seems the most likely reason to me

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Tareim - V8 powered 09/13/2015 at 18:17

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Well, this is something I definitely would condemn if such was the case.

Tareim - V8 powered > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo 09/13/2015 at 18:23

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Me too but I can no longer delete my suggestion :(

If only EssExTee could be so grossly incandescent > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 18:24

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Drain MOST of the oil and give it to a teenager.

MultiplaOrgasms > Viggen 09/13/2015 at 18:43

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Far worse than that (figuratively).

1111111111111111111111 > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 18:53

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Forest service roads. Rally that thing to death.

Autofixation > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 19:22

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Don’t change the oil and keep driving it until it ejects a connecting rod through the block.

Autofixation > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 19:26

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Unplug the knock sensor, drive it hard, and wait for it to blow holes in the tops of the pistons.

mazda616 > CB 09/13/2015 at 19:44

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I did consider that. It turned on with the gauge check when I started the car, but I also fouled a spark plug and had it running on three cylinders once and still didn’t get a “check engine” light. That car was odd.

Dingers Ghost, Champion Jockey > MM54 09/13/2015 at 22:14

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They die even slower when you do actually maintain them.

TheD0k_2many toys 2little time > MultiplaOrgasms 09/13/2015 at 22:38

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dont change any fluids ever

pip bip - choose Corrour > MultiplaOrgasms 09/14/2015 at 07:41

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drive it in the rust belt during winter and then don’t wash off excess road salt.

WiscoProud > MultiplaOrgasms 09/14/2015 at 12:11

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Replace the tranny fluid with vegetable oil. Remove the air box (completely open throttle body) and drive down dusty roads everyday.