Every Car I've Ever Driven, Ranked

"tylinol" (tylinol1975) 08/28/2015 at 16:27 • Filed to: None

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It’s been a slow day at work, so I decided to go back through my past and recount every car - yes, EVERY car, that I’ve ever driven, along with the approximate miles for which I was at the wheel.

Then I ranked them.

I’m 24 and have only been driving for about five years, but I feel that I’ve been able to experience a decent cross-section of the automotive world.

Note: This is far from an objective ranking. It is not necessarily measuring how fun a car is to drive, or how well-made it is. It’s a subjective ranking of how much I enjoyed each and every one, with an understanding that I have a heavy bias towards simple, lightweight European vehicles and generally don’t like any new cars. Now for the list!

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Knowone > tylinol 08/28/2015 at 16:43

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At first I thought it was cars -owned- and wow! At just 24. Then I saw it was -driven-. It would be impossible for an old fart to do that. Good on you for keeping track. I would have a hard time with -owned-.

tylinol > Knowone 08/28/2015 at 16:46

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Yeah, owned would be a much shorter list. Although I’ve never sold a car and currently own 6, so I guess I end up buying more than one out of ten cars that I drive!

jariten1781 > tylinol 08/28/2015 at 16:55

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If I made this list it would be hundreds of cars long and 90% rentals.

Mercedes Streeter > tylinol 08/28/2015 at 17:02

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I’m just going to leave this here...

tylinol > Mercedes Streeter 08/28/2015 at 17:05

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This is both hilarious and entirely accurate.

BiTurbo228 - Dr Frankenstein of Spitfires > tylinol 08/28/2015 at 17:15

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Shit man, that’s a lot of cars :) lots of cool old metal in there too

Here’s mine :)

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All of those are really bunched in the middle though. The only cars I would only jump into again due to necessity would be the bottom 4, and even then the 1.1 Peugeot was fun to rag and chuck about, and the Corsa actually had a surprisingly sweet engine. Really lifted the experience higher than it’s power and (substantial) weight would lead you to believe...

Oh, and the Porsche’s only so low because the gearbox is diabolical. Sitting around doesn’t help, but it’s the definition of vague and recalcitrant.

Mercedes Streeter > tylinol 08/28/2015 at 17:26

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It’s an extension that I have in Chrome that’s honestly the only reason I use Chrome (save for Adblock as well). It won’t change the capitalization of the original word (so MINI comes out as “LARGe”) but you can turn a word into a phrase, or a word into another word.

Cadillac = Retirement Appliance
Pontiac = Cheap Cadillac.

Unfortunately, some words get double processed, so Pontiac really ends up as “Cheap Retirement Appliance”.

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > tylinol 08/28/2015 at 17:38

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Glad to see the little 850 Spider at the top! :) I’ve seen a few in decent shape for sale on Kijiji in the past...would make a fun weekend car, and, if they are maintained properly, they are supposed to be fairly reliable...

tylinol > RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars 08/28/2015 at 17:43

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The 850 is amazing. Mine is EXTREMELY sensitive to having clean fuel, but other than that it is fairly reliable and really simple if something does break. You could pull the engine on the side of the road in about 30 minutes if you had to. I carry an egg crate in the frunk for this exact purpose.

tylinol > Mercedes Streeter 08/28/2015 at 17:51

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The most evil use of this extension that I can think of is installing it on a friend’s computer, jumbling all of the make and model names, and then watching them try to order the correct parts for their car.

Mercedes Streeter > tylinol 08/28/2015 at 18:10

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“Ford Mustang” returns “Ferrari 458 Italia”? Yasssss you’re an evil human being, I love it!

RallyDarkstrike - Fan of 2-cyl FIATs, Eastern Bloc & Kei cars > tylinol 08/28/2015 at 18:11

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Aw man, wish you loved closer, I’d come take a closer look at it! I’ve never seen one up close before and FIAT is my favorite car company (especially classic FIATs! :) )

johncalvinyoung > tylinol 11/03/2015 at 09:12

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I think I hate you. *just kidding, I’m horribly jealous

tylinol > johncalvinyoung 11/03/2015 at 10:10

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Oh trust me, I had to work for it. The first time I went to drive it the carbs flooded, the engine backfired, and the entire intake side of the bay caught fire!

This was also the first time I ever drove a car too. It was a bit traumatizing.

johncalvinyoung > tylinol 11/03/2015 at 12:54

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So...it’s all downhill from there, eh? Wow. Seriously rather jealous...though to be honest, I wasn’t much of a car guy until much later. My gearhead status was an aftermarket bolt-on—I wouldn’t have appreciated the E-Type at 16.