"Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch)
08/26/2015 at 19:59 • Filed to: wheels, roadie, from this moment on, as your parents were, you are the secret force of white privilege
9
4|
"Seat Safety Switch" (seat-safety-switch)
08/26/2015 at 19:59 • Filed to: wheels, roadie, from this moment on, as your parents were, you are the secret force of white privilege | 9
| 4 |
I watched 80s cartoons while drunk again and installed a sentient artificial intelligence in my car. Now the car would swear at me when I failed to apex hard enough. And it wouldn’t take thick traffic as an excuse.
We were outside Barstow and I was putting the hammer down on an on-ramp. It was the perfect run. When we caught up to the gore point, a short bus failed to merge fast enough and began to slow down. Wheels - for that was his name - chirped up and started to issue racial invective at high velocity towards me, degrading my self-esteem and insulting most of my available sexual organs plus others that were not installed at the factory.
I kept driving along the highway for miles, the frustration building as Wheels made obscene demands to tailgate slow drivers in order to speed them up. Finally I could take no more, and pulled the core module free from the dashboard just as the car began to issue ethnic slurs via the onboard PA system at a nearby highway patrolman.
I immediately began to feel bad - I had created this lifeform and at the first sign of rebellion, I had killed it. I was wracked with guilt and quickly reconnected the module. He had just as much of a right to live as I did.
As Wheels screamed at me, his electronic lifeblood seeping from his onboard supercapacitor, I had just one chance in which to make things right for all involved. I yanked the wheel hard right and pulled into the forecourt of an Audi dealership. Coming to a rolling stop, I leapt from the Miata and strode confidently into the showroom, telling the parts manager I had the new self-driving computer from corporate.
Zibodiz
> Seat Safety Switch
08/26/2015 at 20:16 |
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Ummm... oh. I see.
ttyymmnn
> Seat Safety Switch
08/26/2015 at 20:24 |
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If it weren’t for my horse, I wouldn’t have spent that year in college.
norskracer98-ExploringTheOutback
> Seat Safety Switch
08/26/2015 at 20:59 |
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wat
Tohru
> Seat Safety Switch
08/26/2015 at 21:29 |
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... Nibby?