Dear Mr. Late for Work Equinox LTZ Road Rage, Esq. who nearly ended me twice

Kinja'd!!! "Chairman Kaga" (mike-mckinnon)
08/25/2015 at 12:48 • Filed to: None

Kinja'd!!!6 Kinja'd!!! 9

Submitted to Craigslist Missed Connections:

Dear Mr. Late for Work Equinox LTZ Road Rage, Esq. who nearly ended me twice this morning.

You rode my bumper all the way down Westgate to Western Trails. The you passed me and the red Golf in front of me using the turn lane, forced a car that was actually trying to turn back into the outside lane by the sheer power of your rage, almost causing a spectacular accident with a city bus. Next you ran the 4-way stop, turned left and sped down Pack Saddle Pass through a school zone at 50+ MPH. Then you ran the red light and cut off several cars, including a school bus, to get onto the ramp for Ben White. You passed several other cars while still on the ramp. Gusto, man. I saw you weaving through traffic and finally disappear up the road.

When I saw you again, pulled over between Oltorf and Riverside, you were screaming at a city cop and punching your hood. What fire. What bravery.

I just wanted to say, “You complete me.”

PS - I also wanted to express my admiration for the gentleman in the white Chevy Silverado who was texting, both hands mind you, while speeding through the school zone at Sanchez Middle School, and very nearly t-boned me as I crossed through the 4-way stop at Holly and Waller. You didn’t even look up. That takes conviction.

I suspect the APD officer sitting in his cruiser on Waller, ostensibly monitoring the intersection but who was indisposed due to whatever was going on with his laptop and did not witness this feat of bravery and skill, could also use give me a solid lesson in ostentatious don’t give a fuckery.


DISCUSSION (9)


Kinja'd!!! TractorPillow > Chairman Kaga
08/25/2015 at 12:50

Kinja'd!!!0

I miss Austin, but I don’t miss this.


Kinja'd!!! MonkeePuzzle > Chairman Kaga
08/25/2015 at 12:50

Kinja'd!!!0

I hope it all works out! Invite me to the wedding if you crazy kids make it!


Kinja'd!!! Chairman Kaga > TractorPillow
08/25/2015 at 12:52

Kinja'd!!!0

I’m not kidding when I say that the traffic here has gotten so bad it makes me want to move.


Kinja'd!!! ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > Chairman Kaga
08/25/2015 at 13:01

Kinja'd!!!1

You’re in Texas...

Shoot them.


Kinja'd!!! TractorPillow > Chairman Kaga
08/25/2015 at 13:13

Kinja'd!!!0

ugh not good to hear. I’ve visited maybe 3 times in the last several years and traffic was always a nightmare. This sucks because I was kinda hoping to make Austin home when I get out of the Army in a couple years or so.


Kinja'd!!! DogonCrook > Chairman Kaga
08/25/2015 at 13:38

Kinja'd!!!0

Just moved from Houston to Dallas, I haven’t been to San Antonio in awhile, but I think I can confidently say, there’s no where to run to.


Kinja'd!!! Chairman Kaga > TractorPillow
08/25/2015 at 13:56

Kinja'd!!!0

Austin is one of those cities that I could give you a compelling, complete list of reasons to move here, and an equal and balanced list of reasons you shouldn’t. On the negatives, it’s becoming too expensive too fast. Every year our property taxes rise about $500, between increasing rates and improving home values. And as a friend of mine said, it would be the perfect time to sell as long as you didn’t have to buy. Something like 300 people move here every day, so even apartments, when you can find vacancy, are starting at $1,000 for a rathole. The 1-bedroom, 500 sq ft hovel on Oltorf I rented the first year I came back, which cost $600 a month, now lists for $975. And of course, as per my original post, the traffic cannot be managed by the infrastructure. In the 8 years I’ve been making my 11.8 mile commute, the drive has increased form 15 minutes to to usually 45 (unless I’m lucky).

However, everything else you’ve heard about Austin is still more or less true. As long as you have a job and/or friends, you’ll never lack for something to do. The schools are better than average. ANY property is an investment. Pay is generally pretty good in any sector.

It’s just the growth, man. I’m at an age that I crave more the Mayberry lifestyle. We’re maybe sort of looking into somewhere in northern New Mexico or even Colorado. I dunno...


Kinja'd!!! TractorPillow > Chairman Kaga
08/25/2015 at 14:12

Kinja'd!!!0

My wife went to UT and I spent a considerable amount of time there. I’ve been to over 40 countries and all over the US and I tell people that Austin is my favorite place I’ve been. That being said, who knows where I’ll wind up. I am in GA/AL area now and sometimes it’s nice but I can’t stand the “South.” I grew up in Katy, TX and I thought that since we were geographically southern, that we were the South. Boy was I mistaken. Being in GA is the largest culture shock I’ve experienced - and that includes spending a year in Afghanistan. I owe the Army 2 more years come December when I finish my master’s program, so I have some time to figure it out.


Kinja'd!!! haveacarortwoorthree2 > Chairman Kaga
08/25/2015 at 14:50

Kinja'd!!!0

Objection. You have no proof he’s a lawyer. Move to strike.