Late Night Armchair Mechanic #1

"Baeromez" (Baeromez) 08/22/2015 at 00:13 • Filed to: None

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Welcome, ladies and gents, to the first ever entry of Late Night Armchair Mechanic . You love him, you hate him, you may have never heard of him, here’s your host; Baeromez !

Thank you, thank you! Please hold your applause for the the commercial break.

So, I’ve noticed a bit of a downturn in late night Oppo activity recently, and it just so happens that late nights are my favorite time to peruse the postings. I’d guess a lot of the late night posters are probably back in school by now and have to get their beauty sleep so they can look good while the TA clicks through the PowerPoint slides. *ba-dum tsh*

Anyways, one of my favorite parts of being an automotive enthusiast has always been dreaming up outlandish and creative possibilities for projects. Crazy motor swaps, unusual drive trains, wacky and weird forms of induction. You name it, I love it. In fact, that’s exactly what this post is about.

So the idea is, I’ll come up with a topic so wild it may never see the light of day, and we’ll discuss it right here, late nights, on a semi-regular basis.

Tonight’s Topic

One word: Hellcat swap.

[ Editor’s note: I think he’s been drinking again .]

The now-quite-infamous, 707 horsepower, Dodge Hellcat engine has been the subject of many an armchair mechanic’s dreams since its release as a crate motor late last year. The combination of massive power and a factory warranty posits a patently potent possibility of ponderable potentialities.

[ Editor’s note: Definitely drunk .]

So my question to you this fine Friday evening is, given a team of highly trained fabricators, an unlimited budget, and all the time in the world; what would your ultimate Hellcat swap be? Don’t be afraid to bore us with the details!

I look forward to your answers to this, and hopefully many more editions of Late Night Armchair Mechanic . I’m your host, !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! , good night and great dreams.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 00:17

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Also, the hellcat supercharger is ugly as can be IMHO. Seriously, they could have made it look better than some eggcrate looking structure. Whomever is stuffing that monster of an engine into said Abarth could probably come up with a better cover to the SC

jester74 > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 00:22

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Into my VW Bug. Though I imagine, on its maiden run, I’d step on the gas and the force of the engine would flip the car over and I’d explode.

DisplacementForDayz, ironically lusts after a Honda Grom > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 00:22

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Doge Diplomat, because malaise era, Doge, 80s box styling, and because a Diplomat Hellcat sounds cooler/is better/family-sedans harder than a Charger Hellcat.

Baeromez > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul 08/22/2015 at 00:25

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I’d like to think it’s a case of function over form, but yeah, given the appropriate resources, I’m sure someone could come up with a prettier powerplant. Where exactly would you try stuffing that hunk of engine in a 500? Maybe move the firewall back a couple of feet and put the seat backs against the hatch?

sony1492 > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 00:28

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Civic sedan with the motor somewhere behind the driver.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 00:31

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Thats not my job to figure out. I supplied the platform, its someone else’s job to cram the powerplant into said platform. Mid engine or something? They’ll figure it out.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 00:31

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Some sort of kit, like a Caterham. No weight + Insane Power = FIERY DEATH Insane Amounts of FUN!

Baeromez > jester74 08/22/2015 at 00:32

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#ORLOVE’D

Seriously though, do you make a habit of drinking gasoline? I’ve never heard of a person exploding in a rollover.

Baeromez > DisplacementForDayz, ironically lusts after a Honda Grom 08/22/2015 at 00:34

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Such sleeper. Many trolling.

PS9 > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 00:36

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I plan to put a hellcat inside a hellcat. I will do this by constructing the engine out of matter that has 4 spacial dimensions. Each cylinder will instead be a tessaract containing a cube that strokes in all three directions. I believe this engine will rival the power output of the sun.

So, these are my questions;

1. The money needed to constuct the Hellcube is roughly equivalent to all of that generated by earths economies thus far at this point in human history. Is there any way for me to convince the global governments of the world to permanently impoverish earth’s citizenry and fund Hellcube development instead?

2. I believe the Hellcube is capable of converting all of earth’s atmosphere into red-hot carbon dioxide vapor. Conditions on Earth will mirror those of this planet’s early history. It will no longer sustain life after the Hellcube has been started and ran for approximately 3 seconds. I know this, but I still want to build and fire up the Hellcube. Does this make me a bad person or a good opponaut?

3. It is my understanding that extraterrestrials are monitoring our planet, and may become interested in the Hellcube for their own reasons. In the event that aliens destroy our civilization in a war for the Hellcube, what is the safest place on earth I could go to continue engine development without being noticed? Please don’t say ‘Antarctica’, because that is the extraterrestrial base of operations.

nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul > DisplacementForDayz, ironically lusts after a Honda Grom 08/22/2015 at 00:38

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A hellcat in this would be like Woodhouse from Archer going on a constant amphetine + heroine bender.

PatBateman > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 00:38

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This already comes with a SC 426, but I’d take a Hellcat in it as well:

Baeromez > sony1492 08/22/2015 at 00:38

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The back doors would certainly provide ample access for servicing the beast. Mount it backwards and keep the FWD? That would be gnarly.

Baeromez > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 08/22/2015 at 00:41

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Lol, how wide would the tires have to be on something like that?

Baeromez > PS9 08/22/2015 at 00:45

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1. ‘Hellcube’ is the most badass word I’ve heard all week.

2. If you see a novel based on this idea in the next few years, please don’t sue me.

3. I’m going to see if my girlfriend will blow you. Some time after I meet her, of course.

Baeromez > nFamousCJ - Keeper of Stringbean, Gengars and a Deezul 08/22/2015 at 00:51

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Baeromez > PatBateman 08/22/2015 at 00:58

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Commentaboutthings > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 01:03

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Because why the hell didn't they?

Baeromez > Commentaboutthings 08/22/2015 at 01:06

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A very good question. M5 killer alternative anyone?

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 01:08

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175mm to keep you in the trees on your toes.

Baeromez > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 08/22/2015 at 01:19

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That’s the spirit!

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 01:20

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It only makes sense, since my 150hp Toyota has 305’s on all 4 corners.

Baeromez > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 08/22/2015 at 01:32

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Come back to Florida, Jordan. We need you.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 01:46

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I’ve said that I’m never going back. So that pretty much means I will end up there again due to some unfortunate circumstance.

CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 01:49

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A Subaru Legacy. Because why not.

Baeromez > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 08/22/2015 at 01:50

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I mean, geographically speaking, it’s really one of the best places on Earth to live. The problem is that other people have also figured this out.

Baeromez > CCC (formerly CyclistCarCoexist) 08/22/2015 at 01:53

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The AWD would make for some great launches.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 01:53

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I like peace and quiet, dry heat or no heat, and elevation. Florida offers almost literally none of those.

Baeromez > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 08/22/2015 at 01:55

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There’s always Lake Wales .

Sneaky Pete > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 02:31

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Wait, wait! I know the answer to this...and it’s actually true for once - Miata!

67-69 Dart would be awesome too.

Baeromez > Sneaky Pete 08/22/2015 at 02:38

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Congratulations! You’ve found our Late Night Armchair Mechanic Word Of The Day !

Tonight’s word of the day was: Miata !

Tune in again for tomorrow night’s word of the day!

sebdel > PS9 08/22/2015 at 02:41

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Yes, now we’re getting somewhere. If this questions was posted at 1pm we wouldn’t get this ideas, the brain works best at night.

About number3, I can provide a small working garage in south america, according to independence day and every other movie ever made, aliens don’t attack the south hemisphere, we’ll be fine (I get a ticket in the hellcube of course.).

sebdel > Baeromez 08/22/2015 at 02:52

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My plan is to install a second engine in the back of a saveiro. I was thinking a v12 from an Aston, but the hellcat is a good option.

Baeromez > sebdel 08/22/2015 at 02:58

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Someone get this man a corporate sponsor.

Sneaky Pete > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies 08/22/2015 at 03:54

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Pics please!

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Sneaky Pete 08/22/2015 at 10:33

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