Looks are a justification: Why we won't buy a minivan

"shop-teacher" (shop-teacher) 08/13/2015 at 10:51 • Filed to: None

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Yesterday Mr. BrownDogWelding so succinctly !!!error: Indecipherable SUB-paragraph formatting!!! what I think most of us here already believed.

“Fun is a justification.”

To that I would like to add: Looks are a justification.

Buying a vehicle because you think it looks good, is perfectly valid. To go with that, not buying a vehicle because you think it is ugly, also perfectly valid.

That’s one of the two reason’s why my wife and I refuse to buy a minivan. We find them to be very ugly. We refuse to pay money for something we find ugly. Mind you, I’m not shitting on minivans. Minivans are excellent tools, and I approve highly of their purchase and use. We don’t want one, so we’re not going to buy one. We bought her a CX-5 instead. It meets are needs, and we find it attractive. Case closed.

I will posit this to you all. People with families are often mocked for buying a SUV or a CUV instead of a minivan, because they are desperately trying to look cool. Now, I’m sure there are people who do that (and that is pathetic), but I say that lots of other people just find them ugly, and don’t want one. So be it. The logic behind the insistence that families who refuse to buy minivans are just trying to look cool, is the same twisted and screwed up logic that insists middle aged dudes who buy the sports car they’ve always wanted and couldn’t afford, must be having a midlife crisis. I don’t think there is anybody here who believes that all middle aged dudes in Vettes and 911s are having a midlife crisis. So why is it accepted by so many here, that a family without a minivan is just trying to look cool?

Myself, I give precisely zero shits what other people think about what my vehicle looks like. I am a dude who lusts after B-body wagons. Nobody but us wagon weirdos here thinks those bulbous things look good. I will receive zero cool points for driving a wood paneled LT-1 Roadmaster wagon from any normal person. Don’t care, want one. Every time I talk to my retired auto shop teacher buddy, who is the original owner of a gold wood paneled ‘96 Roadmaster wagon, I pester him to sell it to me.

So, with that, here are some pictures of vehicles that I find attractive.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 10:56

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That Mercury wagon is magificent.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 10:57

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Crushing the mini-van market here.

I swear there are 4 of them in our daycare parking lot every morning during drop off. Sometimes 5. Gotta love em with that 3.5 EcoBoost TT and AWD.

Ash78, voting early and often > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 11:01

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We bought her a CX-5 instead

Then you never needed a minivan to begin with. Congrats on being honest with yourselves and finding something you actually like.

We looked at all the alternatives — Durango and CX-9 topped my list, but once we had them side-by-side with the Odyssey, their interior space quickly became a joke. They were just slightly bigger cars.

If you’ll actually fill the interior up (as we recently did on a 5-person beach trip where we couldn’t see out the back at all), the stress reduction is a justification, too. I just wish there were more “fun” to be had. It can be done, but minivans are all focused-grouped to 35-year-old women who treat cars like appliances. They could all be done much better for the same price.

shop-teacher > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 08/13/2015 at 11:02

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I don’t see a ton of them around here. That was the runner up in our family hauler search last year. I would have preferred it over the CX-5, on comfort alone. But it’s my wife’s DD, and she wanted a smaller vehicle. I wasn’t about to talk her out of a cheaper vehicle, that got better gas mileage. I’m very happy with the CX-5, but I wish we could’ve afforded an Ecoboost Flex.

shop-teacher > ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) 08/13/2015 at 11:02

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It really is.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 11:03

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Replace the Delta 88 with a G Body Cutlass and I’m on board.

An SUV/CUV does make more sense if you do any type of off the road traveling, or have a need for AWD/4WD. But, I still prefer the look of a Minivan over must CUVs oddly enough.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 11:07

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I hear you on that. We have a car and an SUV. In Michigan we like having at least one 4x4 in the house. We drive my DD, the Milan everywhere if we go as a family normally. The Commander is her DD, she has the shorter commute and great for when we have to carry around a bunch of stuff.

She’s obsessed with Jeeps and it had to be liberty or bigger in size so basically that means fuel efficiency is out the window.

Van Man, rocks the Man Van > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 11:09

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My family has a minivan. It is a 2009 Honda Odyssey, and we absolutely love it. It's not good looking, it's not bad looking, and you can find them everywhere. But it can either haul 8 people or an entire living room worth of furniture. We don't care at all about how it looks, so all my family wants is a practical, sensible, and comfortable vehicle. That's what the Odysssey is.

shop-teacher > Van Man, rocks the Man Van 08/13/2015 at 11:12

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And I think that’s awesome. Minivans are great tools, and not caring how they look is also perfectly valid.

TheRealBicycleBuck > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 08/13/2015 at 11:12

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I wish I could have talked my wife into buying a Flex. She bought a white Explorer instead. Now the only way to tell hers apart from the 5-10 others in the area (all white, all XLTs, all with the same chrome wheels - I swear the local dealer had a fire sale on them) is the pinstripe down the side.

Tohru > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 11:13

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You have fine taste, my friend.

shop-teacher > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 08/13/2015 at 11:15

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We got an AWD CX-5, which we really don’t need, even in Chicago. But it wasn’t that much more expensive, and it sure is nice to have. She also drives less than 5k miles a year, do the gas mileage penalty is negligible.

shop-teacher > Ash78, voting early and often 08/13/2015 at 11:18

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No, we didn’t need a minivan. Especially since I have a crew cab pickup. We did seriously consider a Flex, which has a lot more room and we both really liked. Ultimately, my wife decided she’d rather have the smaller vehicle.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > TheRealBicycleBuck 08/13/2015 at 11:21

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Sounds like it needs something to set it off.

How about some not too pricey vinyl for the hood?

http://www.moproauto.com/ford-explorer/

(there’s not a ton of options lol)

What year is it?

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 11:22

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Yeah, I’ve driven the Milan through 8 inches of snow (somehow) so we can normally get around in anything.

But when there’s a foot unplowed, it’s much more comforting to be up in the 4x4 Commander.

deekster_caddy > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 11:23

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My wife and I are debating the whole minivan thing right now. We have many occasions that we need to cart 6-7 people around, enough so that taking two cars is a PITA. I’m strongly considering an old beater minivan to park in the driveway and just use when we need to. I’m actually falling for the Buick Terraza for some crazy reason, found some really cheap and they appear to be very, very nice inside.

Here’s my 6 passenger ride...

But our dailys are 4 and 5 passengers...

Which are both fun cars to drive every day. We hate to give them up, because fun! So the justification to have a parked beater minivan is growing quite nicely.

TheRealBicycleBuck > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 08/13/2015 at 11:33

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2013. This isn’t hers, but the only difference is the pinstripe. All of the others in the area look exactly like this.

Dru > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 11:34

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Further, what's wrong with a midlife crisis other than the name? Being forty something and wanting recapture some youth in the most spectacular way possible is a noble pursuit. Being at a point in one's life at which you can responsibly afford it is a bonus.

Megamullin > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 11:35

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But...if you need a third row, I think most minivans do the third row better than most SUV/CUVs and most wagons (although the jump-seats/rear-facing seats were pretty cool *hat-tip Tesla).

Also I think that, as a general rule, the needs/comfort/safety of your family should outweigh desire for a good-looking vehicle. I hate the looks of my minivan. I hate the looks more than any other vehicle I’ve ever owned. It drives like a minivan, too. All sloppy and anemic and slow and boring.

But my kids love it and I have to admit that getting them in and out of it is relatively easy. The automatic doors make accessibility easy for the kids, too and it hauls everything I need.

I agree that looks are a valid reason to buy or not buy a car, but I think when it comes to the family especially, looks should take a back-seat to utility (pun intended).

shop-teacher > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! 08/13/2015 at 11:42

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To each their own!

RallyWrench > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 11:47

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Beauty, eh ;)

Yeah, or not. Sure works well, though.

OPPOsaurus WRX > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 11:50

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this has been a raging debate in my house lately. I agree with you, my wife does not.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > TheRealBicycleBuck 08/13/2015 at 14:20

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I wonder how hard it would be go convert it to the new style grille/headlights.

911e46z06 > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 14:24

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I own 3 of those. *high five*

TheRealBicycleBuck > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 08/13/2015 at 14:29

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That’s an interesting question, but I intend to spend exactly ZERO dollars on this machine. I expect that we will be either handing it down to one of the kids (I hope not - it won’t make a good first car) or selling it in a couple of years.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > TheRealBicycleBuck 08/13/2015 at 14:47

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Why wouldn’t it make a good first car? Size?

Van Man, rocks the Man Van > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 15:05

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No matter what car you drive, you can always find some way to like it and appreciate it.

shop-teacher > Van Man, rocks the Man Van 08/13/2015 at 15:22

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Abso-freaking-lutely. I could not agree more.

shop-teacher > RallyWrench 08/13/2015 at 15:23

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Awesome, I’m glad you like it :)

shop-teacher > Tohru 08/13/2015 at 15:24

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Thank you sir :)

shop-teacher > OPPOsaurus WRX 08/13/2015 at 15:27

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It’s the eternal convenience vs. looks. There is no denying that the minivan is more convenient. I am fortunate that my wife agrees with me.

shop-teacher > 911e46z06 08/13/2015 at 15:33

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Nice! *high five*

shop-teacher > Megamullin 08/13/2015 at 15:37

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Minivans definitely do the third row thing better, but we don’t need one. I agree that my family’s safety is of the ultimate importance, but the kids are perfectly safe in the CX-5. When it comes to utility, I have a crew cab pickup that handles those duties handily.

Megamullin > shop-teacher 08/13/2015 at 15:43

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Fair enough.

TheRealBicycleBuck > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner 08/13/2015 at 16:29

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Size is definitely an issue. Our roads are narrow with deep ditches and no shoulders. What you see below is one of two roads I traverse daily and is typical for this area. One little oopsie and you have to call a tow truck. Not good for a beginning driver. Even I don’t like driving the Explorer down these roads.

My requirements for my child’s first car include:

Small/medium size vehicle

Small displacement/low horsepower

Manual, not automatic

Seating for two, not seven (maybe four/five, but friends in the car is a leading cause of accidents)

NO radio/infotainment system (another leading cause of accidents which I plan to disable for at least the first year)

Air bags and anti-lock brakes for safety

The Explorer is a big pig with lots of horsepower (300), seating for seven, a ridiculous touch-screen infotainment system that controls everything in the vehicle, and sin-of-all-sins, it’s an automatic.

I plan to take them to a real driving school and hope to autocross my WRX with them so they can learn how to handle a performance car. It’s the only time they will get to drive it (and yes, they have already asked which one of them will get my car).