Rude moth&):&*},€{%>~!!!!!

"Funktheduck" (funktheduck)
08/06/2015 at 10:04 • Filed to: Asshats

So I go to my local coffee shop this morning before work like I do normally before work. I get my coffee and come out to this.

I turn right around and say “whoever has the white Nissan, I can’t get in my car, you need to move.” I should have said whomever but I was annoyed and not thinking. I step back outside.

There were only 2 people who came in after me so I knew it was one of them.

Someone nearby asked if I was looking for the driver and I said yes. He knew who it was and went inside and asked her to move her car so I could leave. He came back out and said she ignored him and continued to prepare her coffee (sugar, cream, etc).

She finally came out and slowly got in her car. She pulled out her phone and proceeded to sit and play on it. By now a small crowd had formed in bewilderment. One person said loudly “how f**king rude can you be?”

When I started taking pictures she finally backed out. But wait, there’s more.

She sat blocking the exit while continuing on her phone while cars started adding up behind her.

Just under 15 minutes from the first time I asked her to move until she pulled out of the lot. I know this because I texted a client just before discovering this ride pile of garbage’s parking job.

I should have taken a picture of how much room she had on the other side. A handicap van with a loading ramp would have had enough room to load and unload.

DISCUSSION (74)

Azrek > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:06

Sometimes the only answer is a baseball bat to the sideview mirror and declare bullying?

TheHondaBro > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:08

You did the right thing. People who do this kind of shit should be publicly shamed.

SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:12

If that happened in my MR2 and I had time, I might have accidentally opened my door into it and then moved it to the other side of the Datsun being sure to leave even less space.

ADabOfOppo; Gone Plaid (Instructables Can Be Confusable) > TheHondaBro
08/06/2015 at 10:17

And that isn’t enough, hit them.

In the face.

With a chair.

Made of wolves.

That are on fire.

And that fire is made of thousands of cacti.

That are also on fire.

And...uh...Fuck people like that.

Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:17

Shame, my door would be about level with the mirror...

Funktheduck > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
08/06/2015 at 10:17

There was a car on the other side of her so the second part wouldn't be possible.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:20

People are assholes. But, honestly, why should we be surprised. I go out of my way to be nice to people and I'd probably say at least 95 out of a 100 I get no acknowledgment whatsoever. People are so self absorbed and think the universe revolves around them. If I had my own establishment I might have a tow company on call to get rid of rude asshats like that.

Funktheduck > TheHondaBro
08/06/2015 at 10:21

I was blown away, so we’re the bystanders.

I’m pretty sure she was texting “like omg, this guy is being so rude. I only went in to get my coffee and then he started screaming his head off at me. I’m only over the line by like an inch. I’m just gonna sit here to teach him a lesson on being kind to others”

TheHondaBro > SidewaysOnDirt still misses Bowie
08/06/2015 at 10:21

I would have done that while she was in the car twiddling her thumbs.

Funktheduck > Azrek
08/06/2015 at 10:22

Since she was a young college kid she probably felt like she was the victim.

vwbeamer > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:22

I am ashamed to say when faced with a simpler situation, I vanalized the offending car by denting the door closest to my car. It was a long time ago. I felt better at the time, but later felt guilty.

I think you handled the situation the right way.

Herr Quattro - Has a 4-Motion > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:23

I'd take it as a compliment that's she's just that jealous of your Mazda :3

OPPOsaurus WRX > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:23

what would have been awesome is if you could have gotten that crowd together to pick the car up and move it, maybe into a dumpster.

Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:23

Probably this women.

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=1L3eeC…

Funktheduck > Jordan and the Slowrunner, Boomer Intensifies
08/06/2015 at 10:24

i could’ve crawled over the passenger side but our mirrors overlapped.

If I had my Corolla still I probably would have kicked her mirror to fold in (Corolla mirrors didn't fold in like new cars) and let whatever happen happen after. But I love my 3 and its not beat to hell already like the Corolla was.

GTI Sprinks > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:26

The fact she has mismatched mirrors is an indicator she doesn’t have a clue about where her passenger side of her car is.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:26

*Suppresses urge to post “Valley Girl”*

Funktheduck > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
08/06/2015 at 10:27

If I lived near that theater I would only go to that theater. That should be standard practice for all theaters.

Funktheduck > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
08/06/2015 at 10:28

Wrong ethnicity.

Funktheduck > GTI Sprinks
08/06/2015 at 10:29

Haha. Good point. They're not mismatched mirrors, passenger side was just broken.

Milky > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:30

Just noticed she already has a replacement passenger mirror. Someone has already broken it off before or she has by being a shitty parker. Both options are equally plausible.

RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:30

Right mindset though, amirite?

Takuro Spirit > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:30

I would have had the sudden urge to piss all over her door handles

Funktheduck > OPPOsaurus WRX
08/06/2015 at 10:31

I briefly thought about pulling her out and just moving it myself but that would've been assault and theft even if she was uninjured and I never left the lot.

Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:32

I feel like the girl in the Altima would sound exactly like that too.

Funktheduck > Takuro Spirit
08/06/2015 at 10:32

I wish she had just blocked access to my car so I would have had an excuse to walk over it to get to my car.

Funktheduck > Dwhite - Powered by Caffeine, Daft Punk, and Corgis
08/06/2015 at 10:33

Never heard her say a word. She wouldn't even make eye contact with any of us.

CalzoneGolem > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:34

I’m not sure how I would react probably sat down on here hood until she showed up and mean mugged the shit out of her.

Funktheduck > Milky
08/06/2015 at 10:34

Not replacement. Broken. Exposed plastic and wires. iPotato not always good with mixed lighting.

Funktheduck > CalzoneGolem
08/06/2015 at 10:35

I mentioned to someone else I wish she would’ve given me a reason to walk over her car.

Funktheduck > RamblinRover Luxury-Yacht
08/06/2015 at 10:36

Self absorbed, always the victim, teach this person a lesson even though they’re in the wrong.

Yeah.

Milky > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:38

Haha, I just enlarged the photo and thats hilarious. There is no hope for her.

CalzoneGolem > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:39

What you needed was some kind of non-lethal bass cannon to shoot her in the face.

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:40

That’s messed up.

My patience would have been gone before yours.

Funktheduck > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
08/06/2015 at 10:41

Yeah. Just yesterday I dashed ahead of an older lady so I could open a door for her. I didn’t have to. Just how I was raised.

They used to tow a lot because it's a really popular coffee shop and people would just park however, often blocking the right of way or blocking people in. They haven't in a while. She would've moved it the truck showed up. I'm pretty sure she was teaching me a lesson for asking her to move.

Rico > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:42

Bruh I would’ve berated her, I don’t know how you kept your cool because I would’ve been calling her every fuckin name under the Sun. Starting with “move this piece of shit you fuckin bird”.

Funktheduck > Rico
08/06/2015 at 10:47

Generally speaking I’m very level headed. No damage to my car. I got more satisfaction making fun of her as a group than I would have by yelling.

Funktheduck > MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner
08/06/2015 at 10:51

Depends on what mood you catch me in. If I was hangry (hungry to where I get angry like a snickers commercial) I would’ve gone off on her and probably made her cry.

For the most part I'm a patient person though, especially when things are out of my control.

Funktheduck > CalzoneGolem
08/06/2015 at 10:51

If only....

Someone should make a song about that.

CalzoneGolem > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 10:53

I bet it would be great if they did!

Funktheduck > Milky
08/06/2015 at 10:54

Pretty typical for college kids.

Everyone I know, myself included, got their cars dinged, bumped, and scratched to hell while campus parking.

Funktheduck > CalzoneGolem
08/06/2015 at 10:54

Debatable.

Stapleface-Now Hyphenated! > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 11:08

Yeah, you’re totally the one who needed to be taught a lesson there. I wish something unpleasant on people like that. Nothing that will hurt them, just make their lives miserable. Like uncontrollable explosive diarrhea.

cazzyodo > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 11:23

1) Well played on your part. Cool: kept. Person: shamed.
2) You actually said something. I almost never do, no matter how frustrated I get. You have all the brownie points from me.
3) Bitch.

RazoE > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 11:29

Kinja'd!!!

Over the line. Tsk tsk tsk

MontegoMan562 is a Capri RS Owner > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 11:34

Yeah when she got back in the car I probably would have been at the driver window banging on it going MOVE THE F%*&!$$ CAR!

Funktheduck > RazoE
08/06/2015 at 12:23

Just a smidge

Funktheduck > Stapleface-Now Hyphenated!
08/06/2015 at 12:27

It’d be better if she got completely boxed in while grocery shopping. She comes back to her car with frozen and refrigerated goods only to have them go bad in the summer heat waiting for people to move.

Funktheduck > cazzyodo
08/06/2015 at 12:31

Yeah. I have no problem speaking up. My mom would have much more vocal but kinder. She has a talent at pointing out what you did wrong, making you feel remorseful (if needed), and still coming off super nice. I only got the speaking up part.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 12:37

I feel like this has happens way too often to users on Oppo. Also the Nissan Altima/Maxima is the official douche cruiser in my area.

Funktheduck > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)
08/06/2015 at 12:47

This was by far the worst parking I’ve dealt with and the worst reaction. It’s so bad I don’t even need to exaggerate.

This college town has enough mommy/daddy money that the douche cruisers are the typical BMW/Lexus/Merc/etc

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 12:50

This is why i don’t bother anymore. I just slide in the passengers side, painfully surpass my shifter (the pickup’s shifter is fucking long) and leave.

People who do this are not the types to be shamed when called out. These people give zero fucks which is also why she parked that way in the first place.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 13:06

I always end up bringing up the rav4 with korean jesus and korean stuff on the dash that parked like an asshole on the campus parking deck. I didn’t have any room to squeeze into the drivers side.

Funktheduck > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/06/2015 at 13:07

Couldn't do that. Our mirrors would have hit. I had to wait for her to leave.

cazzyodo > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 13:07

I got my mom’s short fuse. Watching her explode made me not act on things, though, so I tend not to confront. Need to work on that because now that I have restraint I need to remind people how dumb they are.

Funktheduck > unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins)
08/06/2015 at 13:08

Korean Jesus needs to smack some manners into them

Funktheduck > cazzyodo
08/06/2015 at 13:12

Yeah. Better to not say anything than to get into a fight

Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 13:30

Hmm I see now. Could have just snapped hers off with your hand. Already looks like it was before :)

flyingmetalbird > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 13:32

Someone did this to me in my Miata once... I sort of just climbed over his car and hopped in mine. I took my shoes off first though because I would still feel bad for ruining paint. Maybe I’m just too nice

Funktheduck > flyingmetalbird
08/06/2015 at 13:37

I thought about that but walking across would have not helped my situation. Even if I crawled across the passenger side I still would have had to wait since our mirrors would have hit. It's times like this I miss my old Corolla. It had so many dents and dings it wouldn't have mattered.

Funktheduck > Dr. Zoidberg - RIP Oppo
08/06/2015 at 13:41

Yeah. I'm averse to damaging people's cars though

flyingmetalbird > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 13:55

What gen Corolla was it?

Funktheduck > flyingmetalbird
08/06/2015 at 13:57

It was an 04.

flyingmetalbird > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 14:00

Oh okay, I thought you may have meant like OLD OLD Corolla. I love those

Funktheduck > flyingmetalbird
08/06/2015 at 14:34

Nah. Just your average beigemobile

flyingmetalbird > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 14:57

Still, I like little econo cars like that. They can be a blast

flyingmetalbird > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 14:59

Do you think you could help me get publishing rights? This is my new account and I’d like to do a few write-ups for our opponoughts but I don’t think I can yet. And I’m now totally sure how. Do you think you could help?

flyingmetalbird > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 15:00

Not* totally sure is what I meant

Funktheduck > flyingmetalbird
08/06/2015 at 16:12

They put up a post near the beginning of every month where you can ask is the official way.

The unofficial way is to ask one of the moderators when they post or on their comments.

They like to see your comment history to make sure you'll be a good add. So if this is new for you, you'll need to build up some good rapport.

unclevanos (Ovaltine Jenkins) > Funktheduck
08/06/2015 at 23:33

Kinja'd!!!

Full of the sound of the Gran Fury, signifying nothing. > TheHondaBro
08/08/2015 at 18:22

I once did something similar to an LAPD cruiser that was parked like a complete asshat at a local Wendy’s. They could have gotten in through the right side door, but instead looked up my plates and paged me inside the restaurant. The right-seater had a bit of a grin on his face knowing his partner was caught acting like a jerk by parking like that.

In retrospect, perhaps I shouldn’t have made it inconvenient for the driver to get into the car, under the possibility that he might have been called out on an emergency. But as we all know, if it doesn’t involve some sort of revenue generation for the city (or perhaps beating up a defenseless citizen), the LAPD really don’t have any incentive to rush to the scene of an incident and therefore I really didn’t put any innocents at risk.

Toyota Sucks Lots Of Sausages > Funktheduck
08/11/2015 at 23:41

Maybe let out the air of at least 2 of her tires

Funktheduck > Toyota Sucks Lots Of Sausages
08/12/2015 at 06:27

That would have prevented her from moving and she was keeping me from work already.

for Michigan > GTI Sprinks
08/22/2015 at 16:48

“I don’t know what that guy’s deal was, I was sitting right in the middle of the parking spot.”